How do people in ministry remember that they, too, are children of God when there are so many pressures to respond first to the needs of others? How do ministers (of all kinds) learn to seek their strength primarily from their relationship with God?
Some ministers have peer support groups, some have support groups with seminary friends, some go on periodic retreats, some have consistent personal practices of prayer and Scripture study. And I see in many of those who have some kind of devotional practice a sense of perspective, depth and a profound sense of peace. I have met or spoken, however, with many in ministry (church, chaplaincy, parachurch) who are exhausted, feel empty and have little to no sense of God’s presence in their work, much less their personal lives.
It is not true that ministers with support systems and spiritual practices never feel any of these. I want to be careful not to set up a polarity between “those who do” and “those who don’t. But I am aware that sometimes ministry becomes a cycle of unending pressures to keep “producing,” visibly doing things to satisfy the culturally-based expectations of ministers’ “employers” to demonstrate that the minister is worthy of his/her hire. We’ve all heard the jokes that if the only thing a minister has to do is prepare a sermon, what is she/he doing the rest of the 38 hours a week? Church members who are anxious about survival, finances, conflicts and issues in their personal lives may focus on “needing” to know that they are getting their money’s worth from their pastor. How does a pastor remain grounded in God as the primary source of strength, support and guidance?
While I was in seminary, I saw so many of my fellow students “on fire” with the passion of God’s call into “professional ministry.” I stay in touch with many through Facebook, and love to see signs of that passion continuing. I also am aware through conversations and news items that many who enter ministry leave burned out and scarred after a few years, disappointed, sometimes bitter, angry at church and even at God. Some fall to temptation, some become ill, sometimes families disintegrate under pressures. And I feel concern for all ministers whom I see struggling to stay spiritually alive. I am a fourth-generation preacher’s kid, and I know from the inside what being in ministry to can do to (as well as for) ministers and their families. I believe it is my calling to reach out and walk alongside ministers (and other servants of God) to encourage their continuing growth as children of God. I do this as a spiritual director, by connecting people with resources, or by referring to other spiritual directors.
Many Baptist organizations offer conferences and opportunities for continuing education and fellowship, but there are many resources available for ministers that may not be as well known. Two opportunities for ministers to find space away for respite in the Richmond, Va., area are the “First Friday” retreat at Richmond Hill (facilitated by another Baptist spiritual director) and “Minister Monday” at Shalom House Retreat Center in Montpelier, Va. Both of these offer respite and support away from the pressures of ministry. Other resources in Virginia, North Carolina, Maryland and the District of Columbia, less specific to ministers yet still helpful, are listed here.
Another practice, very ancient in Christian tradition and increasingly practiced among Protestants, is that of meeting regularly with a spiritual director. (Note: My understanding is that I “direct” attention toward God, I do not tell you what to do!) When you meet with a spiritual director regularly (every four to six weeks is recommended), you are in sacred space that focuses only on you and where you are in your walk with God. What is happening in your prayer life? What needs to be celebrated? Where are there obstacles in you that might be blocking your awareness and reception of God’s grace? What questions are surfacing that you do not feel comfortable sharing with those to whom you minister, your spouse, or your friends? Meeting with a spiritual director provides another set of eyes and ears, another heart, and someone who is committed to pray daily for you as you seek to know and be known by God with all your heart.
There are many spiritual directors in the Mid-Atlantic (some of us are even Baptist!). The first step is to call one, ask questions and pray. When you have found one that feels “right” to you (someone you can trust, someone you feel comfortable talking with), make an appointment to see if both of you sense that God has brought you together for God’s purposes. There is no commitment until you decide whether this practice or this person is helpful for you where you are in your faith journey.
I encourage you to assess your spiritual needs, and if they are not being met, ask God for guidance and seek fellow pilgrims to walk alongside you. You do not have to feel alone in your ministry!
Nancy Waldo is a freelance writer in Richmond, Va., and a member of Ginter Park Baptist Church in Richmond.