Our son converted to Mormonism. He was baptized at a Mormon ward and was to go on the Mormon mission field.
Many would say, “Oh, okay; how nice” or “A Christian missionary in your family—so what's the problem?” Many others would be horrified at the thought. I am writing to both kinds of people.
You see, I am a born-again Christian, a Southern Baptist by denomination. I was raised in the Baptist church and baptized as a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ when I was 9 years old. I was in the Girl's Auxiliary, becoming a Queen Regent in high school. I taught in a mission Sunday school at a pineapple plantation while my dad was stationed in Hawaii and was a Baptist summer missionary in college to downtown Alexandria, Va. I've taught Vacation Bible School and adult and youth Sunday school.
I have many relatives from past generations and current extended family members who have been believers serving Christ through Virginia Baptist churches. Of my brothers, one is a pastor, one is a deacon, and one enjoys his special education Sunday school class in Annandale.
My husband accepted Christ as his personal Savior and was baptized and joined a Baptist church. My husband and I dedicated our two sons to the Lord when they were babies. We made sure they were involved from the nursery right through youth activities. We rejoiced with them when they accepted Christ as their personal Savior, were baptized at 9 and 7 and became church members. Our family has enjoyed wonderful Christian friends. It is because of this background that I feel compelled to share what I have learned and experienced.
Matt Maness (second from left) joined his parents, Jim and Melissa, and his brother, Tim, at his high school baccalaureate service.
To all Christians, to all Baptists—please understand: The Mormons (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), are targeting young people of faith. They especially, like to witness to Baptist youth because our youth are raised with a great knowledge of the Bible and in Christian traditions and ideals. Our youth are encouraged to seek truth and to be moral individuals. The simple fact is that the Mormons have targeted Christian youth and converted them more successfully than unbelieving, unchurched youth! This is scary and appalling since the Mormons are a cult. They would tell you otherwise and always say they don't understand why people question their Christianity. They cite that Jesus is in their name. They sing about Jesus, have pictures of him and quote him. They recite from the Bible readily. Their TV ads, their Mormon Tabernacle Choir Christmas renditions and Handel's Messiah are very appealing.
There's the rub. Their packaging is slick. They intersperse Christian teachings seamlessly with their own. They distort and add to God's word. Acceptance of Jesus is not enough—one must accept the teachings of Joseph Smith in order to ultimately receive eternal life. They do not teach the Trinity—three in one. Instead, they teach that they are three separate entities and that Satan and Jesus are brothers. They also teach that humans can become gods. They have books besides the Bible that they say are God's holy word. They lure earnest seekers by only quoting the Bible first and then introducing them to The Book of Mormon, which is interspersed with their text and the Bible as one. Then as a person becomes more and more involved, they gradually introduce them to the more shocking and secretive aspects of their faith, including their sacred underwear, a person's “endowments” and the various levels of church life that only Mormons can participate in.
They have an answer for everything and conveniently have changed their teachings over time to be more politically correct. An example would be how they have changed their stance on “people of black skin being cursed” and polygamy. In fact, they have made more than 4,000 substantive changes to The Book of Mormon.
They constantly quote that theirs is “the one true faith” and each person to ever testify begins his/her testimony exactly the same way. They adhere to strict rules/covenants (legalism) that govern all aspects of their lives. They believe that if these covenants are followed they earn “credits” because they do not believe that people are saved by grace alone but must earn it through works. The covenants become a visible expression of their devotion to faith in practice—no caffeine, no alcohol, no eating out on Sundays (but okay for Mom to cook), marriage for life—physical and sexual relations on Earth and for all eternity in heaven, a celestial marriage.
To a Christian youth—disillusioned by hypocrisy of friends that drink or party too much, engage in sexual promiscuity, use foul language, etc.—this aspect of Mormonism can be most attractive. They emphasize wholesome family gatherings, family nights, advocate chastity before marriage and abhor divorce and abortions. To our many youth from dysfunctional families this seems utopian. Utopian it is not, since social worker/counselor friends have shared that Mormons have an extremely high proportion of physical and sexual abuse and that women are often battered and afraid to go public because “you do not bring any negative attention to the good brothers, elders and bishops.”
As one becomes more and more involved in Mormonism any family members not Mormon become more and more excluded, not included. Non-Mormons or even a Mormon who is not “temple-worthy” cannot attend their child's wedding at a temple, or enter the temple proper. They can attend the reception outside of the temple. All Mormon males are expected to devote two years to being missionaries with no contact with their families, including going home for a death in the family, with the exception of phone calls home at Christmas and on Mother's Day. Mormons marry earlier than most other people because both partners are to be virgins and having many children is encouraged. Since the males are expected to go on mission and cannot be married, they start college later and tend to marry immediately after missions. While on mission every minute of their lives is monitored and structured so they can not “deviate from the truth.” Mormons canvassing door- to-door in pairs is no accident.
I have only addressed their beliefs and practices superficially and I encourage you to prepare yourselves for the distortions and deceptions and, yes, lies. I realize that many Christians who have studied other religions/ cults are aware of what I have shared and felt my tremendous pain when I said my son converted to Mormonism, because they knew it was of the devil, it was false. But to all who really only thought Mormonism was just another denomination—I hope I have dispelled that belief forever.
Our son went through a heartbreaking and tortuous time. He fell in love with a Mormon girl and was encouraged to believe as she did and to marry her for all eternity. He planned to be married as soon as the mission was over, having become engaged at 18. He then planned to attend Brigham Young University in Provo, Utah, and have children right away. He fell more and more into the belief system as he also honestly sought answers to questions he had. He became alienated from our family and church leaders and teachings. He kept a grueling schedule of attending “Bible training” before he went to his public high school that began at 7:15 a.m. While studying into the wee hours of the night to make straight As and still participate in band, voice and extra curricular activities he worked to raise money for the mission trip. He needed $10,000. He forsook his stated dreams of going to college after high school and majoring in music to concentrate on mission training. He rarely shared or participated in family events because he basically had a new family. He became hostile, unhappy and exhausted. He alienated himself from his long-time friends, also.
We were devastated and we grieved as we watched our son leave his faith and us. Had it not been for our Christian friends' and family's support and prayers, this experience would have been all the more unbearable. We had to thoroughly examine our own beliefs in our attempts to witness to our son. We prayed for him unceasingly and came to understand that we would love him no matter what, as Jesus loves us. We told him we could not condone his beliefs nor would we send him to BYU, but we would always love him and only hope that he would realize that we did not forsake him. We told him that we hoped he would include us in his life.
We were wisely counseled by our minister to always bring discussions back to Jesus Christ, the Alpha and the Omega, instead of going tit for tat biblically. Our minister said to remind our son that Jesus was tolerant of others, that he was love. This was difficult when our son told us he was going to be baptized as a Mormon, questioned our salvation and told us we were all going to hell. He further declared that his first baptism was not authorized. We were stunned beyond words. He invited us to attend his baptism. Our initial reaction was, “No way!” Again, we received tremendously wise counsel, which was to attend so that we would not be the ones pulling away. We were told that our son was on what he believed to be a spiritual high and he was in love. But he would crash from the mountaintop experience and when that happened that he should be able to reach out to us, to contact us.
Attending that baptism was the most difficult thing we have ever done. I could not breathe. I felt an evil presence on my chest. My husband shook the whole time. We got through it because of our trusting in Jesus and intercessory prayers of family and friends. At one point during the service we were even told that we had done a wonderful job of raising our son and teaching him so that he could now have the “true faith.” Our son thanked us for coming and said he wasn't sure we would come. We left before the reception telling him we could not withstand congratulations or take any joy in the situation. Still, he was impressed that we came under those circumstances.
We continued to love him and pray for him. We continued to attend his school events. We disagreed and grieved over one shocking revelation after another—“not going to college,” “not going to apply,” “getting married after mission,” “attending BYU,” etc. We enlisted the prayers of others who enlisted others. Thousands were praying for him to see the truth, to be disturbed by the contradictions, to question, to catch a lie. Our church family, our families and their churches, co-workers and their churches, our nephew's Campus Crusade contacts, Catholics, Protestants, all different races, total strangers that learned of the “Christian young man that had become Mormon” and his public school teachers that were Christian—all prayed constantly for him.
I prayed that I would live to see him come out of it. I prayed that he would not go on mission and become a perpetrator of the lies to others. I even began praying for his fiancée, who was already accepted to BYU. I prayed for less contention in our home. I prayed for our older son's convictions to remain strong as our younger son tried to witness to him. I marveled and praised God for how our church members and leaders continued to love him and pray for him.
Like Mary had kept what was said about Jesus in her heart, I held on to “train up a child in the way he should go” and our son's first grade teacher (who was a minister's wife) telling me one day after school that she had a word of knowledge about my son the previous night “that God had a special plan for him.” I remembered his gurgling and joy as an infant at his baby dedication (conducted by my brother, his Baptist minister uncle) and his playing Jesus in a Christmas play. I held on to his being a youth missionary to Antigua and how he had loved those children he was sent to teach in VBS, and how he had shared those experiences with our church. I treasured the fact that God had given him a beautiful voice and talent in playing drums and guitar. I prayed he would honor God with those gifts.
Hallelujah! Praise God! Approximately three weeks before our son was to graduate from high school he shared he was so confused, that he had doubts and didn't know what to do. It was the break everyone had been praying for. He came home from school and talked with his brother and then tearfully told my husband that he did not want to be Mormon. My husband gathered the three of them together and prayed with them out loud. My husband is shy and this was an amazing thing for both our son to come to him in that manner and for my husband to lead the prayer. I was not home. What added to the poignancy of the moment was that our son was due to play in his school's championship soccer game for the district title in less than an hour. He was obviously distraught and yet he had worked for years to have this important game opportunity. My husband prayed that the moment would not be lost and that God would help us know how to talk with our son while at the same time he would allow our son to get “psyched” for the game. In the meantime, I had been called by our other son and filled in briefly as to what was transpiring. I called our minister and told him what I knew and that I was heading to the game. I sought prayers and asked if he could meet with our son after the game if our son would want to talk with him. He, of course, agreed and told me to call him after I had gotten our son's permission. Our son had the wrong uniform and location at first, but was able to get both straightened out. He was late getting to the game and did not start. He did play most of the game and did very well, making crucial assists. His team won the championship! Everyone was jubilant. His girlfriend ran up and hugged him as we all did. He was on a roller-coaster of emotions going from his game face of joy to coming home and breaking down.
He asked me if I had talked with his dad and I told him I had. He said he was so confused and did not know what to do. I told him we would get through it and get him help. I told him I had contacted our minister and that he would come right over if our son would like. Our son said, “Please call him.” As the evening progressed our son said he knew without a doubt that he could no longer be Mormon. He said that he had caught them in lies and that he had tried for some time to squelch things that he knew weren't right and that he just couldn't do that any more. He called his girlfriend to tell her that he loved her, but could not be Mormon, which resulted in their breaking up. He said he would do whatever was necessary to regain his church acceptance and right relationship with the Lord.
Thus, he renounced Mormonism. He prayed with his uncle to remove any demonic spirits, since his Mormon baptism had opened that door, and he burned or broke everything Mormon that he possessed. He shared that he felt free afterward. He shared how he had been afraid to sleep at night for some time and knew there was evil present in his room. He was harassed and monitored by the Mormons to change his decision. He went forward publicly that next Sunday with his decision and was wonderfully welcomed home by our pastor and congregation! He asked if he could participate in the upcoming baccalaureate service and was given time to get the paper work in. The youth minister encouraged him to apply for a church college scholarship. He was overcome by the offer. He applied and was awarded a scholarship. His friends welcomed him back also.
He was told it was too late to be accepted to any four-year college for the fall. After all, he had missed music auditions. He was accepted to college and began on time. A university's deadline is not God's deadline. He auditioned to become a music major Nov. 12—one day from a year of being baptized a Mormon and to being sent off this month on his mission. God's timing is miraculous. God's love is boundless. Now he has learned that he has been accepted into the School of Music at VCU! He is pursuing his dream and God's plan for his life. Our family is restored. Our son is sharing with others what God has done in his life and wants to warn others against Mormonism. So do I.
I would also like to share seven lessons that this whole experience has taught me personally:
1. Never take your faith or the faith of those you love for granted.
2. Seek the support of Christians no matter how embarrassed you may feel to ask for help.
3. Pray unceasingly and in all things for God's will to be done.
4. Love your child. You don't have to agree with him nor condone his actions, but love him.
5. Do not deprive others of the blessings that come from being a prayer partner. Other people were overcome by God's miracle and personally touched to have been instruments of prayer for us.
6. Do not deprive yourself of the blessings that come from others' prayers. Glimpsing somewhat the scope of both the number of people and their geographic locations of those praying for us will forever represent agape love to me.
7. Thankfully share what God has done to give others hope in seemingly impossible situations. <
Editor's note: Matt has finished his first semester at Virginia Commonwealth University and is studying this summer at Brevard Music Center.