Through Empowering Families for Spiritual Formation research and experience with churches and families, we have come to learn worship is an integral piece of engaging faithful families and encouraging spiritual formation. However, we also have learned churches can grow in their understanding and practice of engaging entire families in worship experiences.
Here are some ways churches can intentionally offer family friendly worship:
Sarah Boberg
Ensure parents and caregivers know what to expect during worship. When parents and caregivers understand the elements and flow of worship, they can better prepare their children for the experience. This may also include knowing what is expected of children during worship or when special worship elements will be included (baptism, Lord’s Supper).
Many churches offer alternative activities and programs during worship. Parents/caregivers and children need to be aware of these, including their purpose, time frame, location. This information can be provided on the church website, through email or in printed materials in the sanctuary.
“Knowing what to expect during worship helps parents and children prepare fully participate.”
Knowing what to expect during worship helps parents and children prepare to fully participate in the worship experience.
Welcome and respect movement and noise. Children are not made to sit still and quiet for an hour or more. Children will need to move and will make noise. However, their development is no more “distracting” than the sound of candy wrappers or unsilenced phones.
Movement and noise in worship is to be expected, since worship is for fully bodied humans to bring praise to an awesome God. If churches want children and families to feel welcomed in worship, the congregation needs to understand children and how they may worship differently from adults.
This may take educational opportunities to engage the congregation in learning about children and how to thoughtfully welcome them in worship.
Provide alternative or easy-to-navigate seating. Most worship spaces are not designed with children in mind. The seating is designed for the average adult, which may not be comfortable for children. Often, worship seating allows very little space to move.
Churches should consider providing alternative seating for worshipers, including parents/caregivers and children. For example: rocking chairs for parents/caregivers with small children, seating with open space for children to sit or play on the floor, and larger rows for parents/caregivers and children to easily move in and out.
“Children and families should not feel like the audience of worship but full participants in worship.”
Invite children and families to lead worship. Children and families should not feel like the audience of worship but full participants in worship. One way to do this is to invite them to lead aspects of worship. This also allows other congregants to see children and families as important to the larger community.
Children and families can sing, play instruments, pray, read Scripture, preach, usher, welcome.
Provide worship tools for children. Because most worship experiences are planned with the development of the average adult in mind, many aspects of worship are difficult for children, especially the length, sitting still and listening. Therefore, the church can provide tools for expression and reflection to help children navigate worship. These can include paper and pencils or crayons, LED writing tablets, fidget toys, worship scarves.
During our first Empowering Families retreat, we planned four different worship celebrations. Each experience was limited to 30 to 40 minutes and included many of the aspects above to engage entire families in the worship experiences. Parents/caregivers and children enjoyed and looked forward to worship. Families enjoyed worshiping together, having the freedom to worship without judgment and seeing their children engage.
Overall, worship is still the most attended weekly local church program or event. Because worship offers the best opportunity for family engagement, church leaders need to be mindful of how families can engage in worship.
Empowering Families through Spiritual Formation is a Lilly Endowment Christian Parenting and Caregiving Initiative through Campbell University. The purpose of the Empowering Families project is to partner with churches, ministers and parents to develop strategies and resources to equip and encourage families to engage in regular, substantive, holistic, family-centered formation.
Sarah Boberg serves as assistant professor of Christian education and director of the Empowering Families Grant at Campbell University Divinity School in Buies Creek, N.C. She earned a bachelor’s degree in religion and a master of divinity degree from Campbell, she earned a Ph.D. in educational studies at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Her dissertation research focused on the call experiences of Baptist women in ministry.