Our daughter Abby is starting to scare us. We thought she would unquestioningly believe everything we told her for several more years, but no such luck. She learned to thank God for things as we say our prayers at bed time and can belt out a rendition of “Thank You Father” that makes our meals seem extra-blessed, but then she has also started branching out.
Bruce Powers
We were talking about going to the pool when she looked up and said, “God, do you like to go swimming?” This should not have surprised me, since she once asked Jesus if he wanted to go to church with us. I wish I could take some credit, but Abby did not learn this from me. She used a conversational style I did not teach her and physical postures she did not see at home. There was also the time she dropped to her knees for a quick prayer in the hall when it was time to brush teeth. Can a 3-year-old have an intuitive grasp of supplication?
I share this to make three very important points. First, we must be very purposeful in teaching prayer to our children. Far too many grow up thinking prayer is just something you repeat before a meal. Teaching “God is great” to a toddler is wonderful, but when 4th graders use the same rote prayer, I get concerned. We cannot allow our children to think that prayer — one of the greatest gifts of the Christian life — is nothing more than a ritual used in church and at meal time. Children must learn that prayer is a conversation with God. To help our children make the connection, parents must be having active conversations as well.
Second, never discount a child's natural ability to connect with God. In the Visual Bible's film based on the gospel of Matthew, Jesus pulls a child out of the crowd as he says, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” Given the opportunity, I believe that God can connect with our children, even if they don't understand what they are experiencing at the time.
Third, don't forget how abstract prayer is. Children can't make much sense of God, and talking to a person they can't see makes even less sense. As we colored one day, Abby said, as she pretended to write on a piece of paper, “God, I love you so much and I don't know why.” She believes what she has been taught, but already senses the missing pieces that her young mind cannot yet fill in. Even though she is rapidly learning about God and prayer, she asked her mother, “Why doesn't God answer me?” It is hard to explain why talking to God doesn't work like talking to Dad, but we must do our best. It will be many years before they can fully understand, so we must nurture a vibrant prayer life in ourselves so that we have something to share with our children.
Bruce Powers, whose column appears monthly, is pastor of Westhaven Baptist Church in Portsmouth. Contact him at [email protected] . Other parenting resources are available from Diane Smith ([email protected]) of the Virginia Baptist Mission Board's emerging leaders team.