On March 15, 2020, my husband and I were preparing for one of the most important moments of our lives: Our ordination ceremony.
We had prayed about it. We had sought God’s direction. We believed with all our hearts we were walking in obedience to God’s calling.
Then the phone rang.
A pastor from another church called my husband and pleaded with him not to allow me to be ordained. He begged him. He urged him to stop it. He insisted I should not go through with the ceremony.
Phyllis Harrington
What was most surprising was that he never explained why.
There was no discussion. No conversation. No attempt to understand my calling, my ministry, or the journey that had led me to that day. There was simply opposition.
After listening for a while, my husband looked at me and said something I will never forget: “Don’t answer any more phone calls. Let’s go do what God instructed us to do.”
Even now, years later, I become emotional when I think about that moment. Not because of what was said. But because of what was done.
In that moment, my husband chose faith over fear. He chose obedience over public opinion. He chose to stand beside me when it would have been easier to step aside.
I felt loved. I felt protected. Most importantly, I felt God not only had called me but had called my husband to walk alongside me in that calling.
That day, we were ordained together.
“I felt God not only had called me but had called my husband to walk alongside me in that calling.”
Today, as conversations surrounding women in ministry continue to make national headlines, I often think back to that phone call. The debate is not new. For generations, women have wrestled with questions about calling, leadership and service in the church.
Some denominations welcome women into every level of ministry. Others place restrictions on their roles. Many faithful believers land on different sides of the discussion. But behind every debate is a real person. And behind every policy is a story.
Behind every headline is someone who has spent countless hours praying, studying Scripture, seeking wise counsel and simply trying to be faithful to what they believe God has asked them to do.
Too often, those personal stories get lost.
My book, She Preached Anyway, was born from that reality. I did not write it to start an argument. I did not write it to attack anyone’s beliefs. I wrote it because I know what it feels like to carry a calling that others do not always understand.
I know what it feels like to question yourself after someone questions you.
I know what it feels like to wonder whether the resistance you are facing is a sign to quit or a reason to keep going.
“I know what it feels like to question yourself after someone questions you.”
What I have learned is this: God rarely calls people to easy assignments. Throughout Scripture, those whom God called often faced opposition. Moses doubted. Jeremiah felt inadequate. Esther faced risk. Paul endured criticism and persecution.
Calling never has been measured by the absence of obstacles. In many ways, it is revealed through perseverance.
The current conversations surrounding women in ministry likely will continue for years to come. People will continue to disagree. Denominations will continue to make decisions. Churches will continue to wrestle with difficult questions.
But my hope is that we do not lose sight of something important: People are not theological talking points. They are sons and daughters of God. They are individuals seeking to follow Christ with sincerity and faithfulness.
Whether one agrees or disagrees with women serving in certain ministry roles, we should never lose our ability to treat one another with dignity, respect and grace.
For me, this journey never was about titles, recognition or winning an argument. It always has been about obedience.
The same God who called me knew the obstacles I would face, knew the criticism, knew the questions, even knew about that phone call on the morning of my ordination.
Yet this God called me anyway. And by God’s grace, I said yes anyway.
Phyllis Harrington is an ordained minister, author, educator and advocate. She is the founder of Break the Silence — Speak Out America and has written several books, including Christian and inspirational titles, children’s books and educational curriculum focused on child safety, prevention, healthy boundaries and leadership development. She is currently pursuing a Ph.D. in Christian education and leadership through Liberty University’s John W. Rawlings School of Divinity.