LOUISVILLE, Ky. (ABP) — “Parents are the missing element of children's ministry,” an author and children's-ministry consultant told a conference in Louisville, Ky., April 23.
Too many churches are working off the 1970s model of recruiting a paid or volunteer worker to “baby-sit” children while the adults hold their worship service, said Art Murphy, author of The Faith of a Child. “It's not the job of the 10 percent to do 90 percent of the work,” he said. “That's called unhealthy.”
But successful children's ministries today involve parents in the work with children and equip adults to be Christian parents and role models throughout the week.
Parental involvement was one of 10 components Murphy said make up a strong children's ministry. Other components of a healthy ministry, he said, are:
— Bible truth. “This is our power source,” he said, referring to both Bible facts and Christian doctrine. Children's ministries can reinforce such truth, he added, by teaching kids to memorize Bible verses and lists, such as the fruit of the Spirit.
— Bible application. In addition to teaching Bible truth, children's workers should be teaching what that truth means in age-appropriate ways, Murphy said.
Noting that some educators want to teach children more than they can take in, Murphy compared it to trying to teach a 6-year-old to avoid adultery. The goal, he added, is not for children to know everything about the Old Testament's Daniel “but [to know] they want to be a Daniel.”
— Shepherding. Shepherding involves not only caring for children but also observing them so that workers learn how best to care for those in their ministry, he said.
— Safety. This is the most important topic for visiting families, Murphy noted. “This is a different day, folks, and it's not about the members. It's about the ones outside,” he said. Children's ministries should be concerned about emotional safety as well as physical safety, he noted, including such issues as bullies, teasing, nicknames and labels.
— Trained and adequate staff. Training includes children's evangelism as well as understanding how to treat a 4-year-old differently from a 4th grader, Murphy said. Adequate includes having the right ratio of adults to children. He said ministries should have one adult for every two babies; one adult for every four preschoolers; one adult for every five elementary school children; and one adult for every seven or eight preteens.
— Facilities. Child-friendly facilities “say we like kids and kids like it here,” Murphy said. “A lot of our facilities could use a touch-up.”
— Special events. Four or five special events each year tell the children they're important to the church. They also offer children and parents opportunities to invite other children, Murphy said.
— Music. Christian music can help equip children to face a non-Christian world, he said. “We want to give them some tools that work, and music is a powerful tool,” he said. “It's easier to remember songs than it is a Bible verse, sometimes.”
— Play. Churches that offer play help children interact and get exercise, Murphy said. “You'll have more discipline, they are never late anymore, and they bring their friends.”
Every church's children's ministry should aim to equip children to have two thoughts throughout the week, Murphy said: “What would God want me to do in this situation?” and “I can't wait until next Sunday.”
One simple change any church can make is to change the name of its children's Sunday school. Approximately 45 percent of the churches Murphy talks to are using such names as Kid's Zone.
“If you love Sunday school … please change the name, because it sounds worse than Saturday school,” he said.