A very large congregation looked for a new, full-time minister to children for over two years. They could not find one. They presented their dilemma to me. My response was, “What if you are looking for the wrong staff position?”
Many congregations of more than 150-175 in attendance believe they need a staff person to lead their ministry to children. In some congregations it is now becoming the second full-time position they employ. Some years ago it was the minister to youth or students. Now it is the minister to children.
In many places it is a defensive posture. “If we do not, they will go down the street to the church that has this, or to the new church start that focuses on thirtysomethings, or to the satellite location of the mega church.” Fear is not a good motivator for quality ministry to children. The spiritual and life development of children as a worthwhile pursuit is a much better motivator.
Why a Focus on Young Adult Households Instead of Just Children?
What are some of the issues to consider when thinking about an approach that focuses on young adult households rather than primarily their children?
First, the focus should be on the family or household rather than the age of children. The real clients for ministry to preschoolers and children are not the children but the parents. Churches say they believe in the family unit, but programmatically they split them apart for many church activities and do not model family.
Second, parent involvement in ministry for preschoolers and children is essential to learn through modeling what the spiritual and life development of these children could look like. Parents need to be involved as volunteers, on a parent council, in participating in intergenerational learning experiences, and other ways that hold up the family unit.
Third, if the parents are assisted through ministry of the church to grow in their own spiritual life as disciples, then they will be motivated to be sure there is age appropriate spiritual development for their preschoolers and children. Many parents and families are struggling, and they need this spiritual and emotional focus.
Fourth, it is impossible for a minister to children to be everywhere they need to be on a weekend when ministries for children are taking place. They are needed in the preschool area. They are needed in the children area. They are needed to develop relationships with the parents.
Fifth, for preschoolers and children the adage that if you get the children you will get the parents, is just not nearly as true as it once was. Children cannot walk to church like they once did. Parents are truly interested as seekers in their own spiritual development and not just being in church for the sake of the children. Yet, without good choices for their children, they go out into the community and sign their children up for every activity that comes along, hoping to find a solution there when the church actually offers the best solution.
How Would the Young Adult Household Approach Be Structured?
At minimum it takes three people. Depending on the size and financial abilities of the congregation these may all three be volunteers, all three paid, or a combination. Except in the largest of congregations, it would never be expected that churches are talking about three full-time staff persons. Over 95 percent of congregations need a different staffing model.
The minimum of three people are a minister to young adult households, a preschool coordinator, and a children’s coordinator. These three form a team who look holistically at ministry to young adults households who are single or married, have children or no children.
How might this be handled in a congregation of at least 500 in attendance? The minister to young adult households would typically be a full-time staff person with a focus on the discipleship development of young adults, and an awareness and sensitivity to the spiritual and life needs of young adult families with children.
Two volunteers or part-time coordinators who make a three-year commitment to their role would work with this staff person. One focuses on preschoolers and the other on children grades one through five. These three function as a team to plan programs, ministries, and activities that touch the lives of family/household units. As appropriate, they plan intergenerational or whole family activities that model the spiritual development of families.
A clear strategy with measurable goals should be developed in cooperation with a young adult families leadership community that provides an opportunity for deep ownership and feedback from heads of households.
In a future article, I’ll talk about how this works in congregations of less than 500 in attendance.