By Alan Rudnick
In the wake of tragedy it has become an automatic response for many Christians: “Our thoughts and prayers are with…” I know, I said it on Facebook and Twitter after the shootings in San Bernardino, Sandy Hook, and Aurora. Maybe you were like me and wanted to express your grief and wanted to respond.
However, not everyone sees “thoughts and prayers” as a helpful expression of grief in the face of tragedy.
After the shootings in San Bernardino, The Daily News featured several Republican politicians’ Twitter posts expressing their “thoughts and prayers” for the victims with the headline “God isn’t fixing this”. The response from many Christians was sharp and curt.
It seems that mass shootings are growing. According to The Washington Post, there have been 351 mass shootings in the United States this year alone. That’s 351 “thoughts and prayers” to shooting victims on Facebook and Twitter feeds. To many observers, politicians who claim to be Christian and use “thoughts and prayers” on social media and yet do nothing about reasonable gun control laws, are seen as tone deaf.
As a pastor, I use my own Facebook and Twitter feeds to express grief, sadness, and lament in times of tragedy. I read the “God isn’t fixing this headline” and sat in contemplation. I wondered, “How does the world see Christian “thoughts and prayers” on social media? Is that all we are as followers of Jesus? Thoughts and prayers?
On one level, we are removed from the direct grief of a tragedy that is 3,000 miles away from us. On an other level, we are directly connected. We too have sons, daughters, parents, and grandparents. We have lost loved ones. Although, the majority of the American population does not grieve while their loved ones lay dying on the street. There is a tension between common human emotion and grieving a violent public death. We know loss but we are not there… in THAT tragedy. Everyone’s grief is different. We are connected but we are a part.
I learned early on in ministry, that as a pastor, it is not what you say that expresses care and comfort, but often what you do. In a previous church where I served, a wife lost her third husband to cancer. I arrived at the house to find a distraught widow and a hospice nurse. What could I say to hear? Nothing. No pastoral words of advice could speak to what she just experienced. I simply embraced her as she cried. After what seemed like an eternity of crying and wailing, the nurse told the wife that in a few minutes the funeral home would arrive. She mustered all her strength and took a deep breath and said, “Okay. I can do this.” And she did. I remained at the house for over an hour until other friends and family came. Months later she thank me. “For what?” I asked. She replied, “For being there.”
In times of tragedy, we often want to express support and comfort but because of distance, we can only send “thoughts and prayers” on Facebook and Twitter. There is nothing wrong with sharing thoughts and prayer. There is nothing wrong with expressing support on social media for victims and their families — but don’t let that be the end of your support. Get involved. Have your church begin to discern ways that your faith community can reach out locally to victims of abuse, tragedy, or brokenness. Let “thoughts and prayers” be the beginning of a real change that can occur where you can have an impact on someone’s life who has experienced their own tragedy. Pray, and act.
It is an over used expression, but it is true: “Think global, act locally.” The same holds true for prayer: “Pray globally, act locally.” By taking action where you can make a difference, your “thoughts and prayers” will not be an empty expression but a fruitful outpouring of God’s love.
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