Have you ever eaten “girl dinner” before? Chances are, you have, even if you are a boy. But according to TikTok, where the #GirlDinner trend originated, the meal is less about gender and more about how the food on a person’s plate is curated.
What is girl dinner?
The trend’s original TikTok, posted by user @tishannahrose June 19, portrays a charcuterie-esque meal consisting of breads, cheeses and fruits. She calls this “girl dinner,” also describing it as a meal a Medieval peasant might eat, which she believes is ideal.
In response to her post, many other women on TikTok began posting their own versions of girl dinner, and the trend was even featured on the Today Show with hosts sharing their own versions of the meal. Across the trend there is a wide variety of food present in each meal, however some common aspects of #GirlDinner have emerged.
First, girl dinner is easy to throw together. Although it is thoughtfully prepared, it is easy to prepare different snack-sized portions that make up a whole meal. Whether you’re eating a plate of assorted cheeses with crackers, a mixture of leftovers from your fridge or a stir-fry made from vegetables you need to get rid of, all these meals could be considered “girl dinner.”
The second aspect is, girl dinner is curated. While it may seem like you’re eating a random mixture of foods, you’re not. Every component of your meal — the cheese, the leftovers or the nearly expired vegetables — is there because you like it and want to eat it. Usually, each component is chosen because they go together, but all the components are there because you want them on the plate. There are no vegetable sides you’re not going to enjoy just because you want something green on your plate.
Third, there is no star of the show. You are not planning a meal around one ingredient you really enjoy but are curating a meal out of many ingredients you like. When you’re eating “girl dinner,” you get a little bit of everything.
If this is girl dinner, what is boy dinner?
In contrast to girl dinner, some TikTok users have been discussing a contrasting meal: “Boy dinner.” Although it has not gone viral like girl dinner has, this meal still has a loose definition.
Unlike girl dinner, it seems as though boy dinner describes simple meals, where there is one large, hearty main component. This is often accompanied by sides, but not always.
For example, a classic boy dinner might be a large piece of steak with sides chosen because they go well with steak or because you haven’t eaten a vegetable today or you know you won’t be full after finishing the steak. The main idea with this meal is that the steak — the star of the show — is really tasty, and you are eating the meal because you want to eat a nice steak.
Another more simplified version of boy dinner consists only of the main component and doesn’t even bother to leave space on the plate for sides. One TikTok user with the handle @cannons.xo described a meal she was eating, which consisted of a single chicken breast on a fork, as an example of boy dinner.
Others view boy dinner as lazy meals, made up of random ingredients that just sound good at the moment, as described by a user with the handle @bryaninheelee who told his viewers to go to their local supermarket around dinner time and “stand behind a single man” to “see what’s inside his basket.” According to Bryan, many of the main components of boy dinners are things like frozen pizzas or boxed mac and cheese, sometimes accompanied by random snacks like potato chips.
Essentially, the biggest difference between “girl dinner” and “boy dinner” is, in boy dinner, the meal is centered around one food and is not thoughtfully curated. Instead, it is made up of an item a person likes and is sometimes accompanied by sides. In girl dinner, there is no center to the meal, and it is heavily curated. There may not be any component of the meal that is considered a “main” or a “side” dish, because everything on the plate is chosen because you like it or are craving it.
Is it really about gender roles?
And although the trendy titles make it seem like these meals are gender-segregated, among TikTok videos discussing the subject there are no strict boundaries dictating who can and cannot eat each type of dinner. In fact, many users discussed having partaken in both boy dinners and girl dinners, and many of us likely have as well.
The joke of the trend, it seems, points out the differences in palate and desire to cook among stereotypical men and women.
So, while this fun little trend picks fun at gender stereotypes, it does not make exclusionary statements about who can participate in each type of cooking and eating.
If you enjoy a good charcuterie board for dinner, keep snacking. If you love a good steak, get on the grill. (And even if you are a boy on Tik Tok, don’t be afraid to proudly proclaim that you are eating a “girl dinner,” and enjoying it.) And, we might have something to learn from this trend.
Girl dinner and the theology of eating
The curated nature of girl dinner allows eaters to think before they eat, not only of whom they are feeding, but why and what they are eating. This effort to create a diverse and yummy plate encourages us to consider what foods we are putting into our bodies, how much we are consuming and what foods we might waste if we place too much on our plate.
Although this trend may not seem theological at first glance, it helps eaters foster a creation-centered view of food and consumption as they form eating habits that waste less food, such as the eater choosing to create a “girl dinner” out of foods that are about to expire, rather than going out to eat for the third time this week. These eaters are (perhaps unintentionally) engaging in an eating practice that honors the fecundity, labor and death that was required to place food in their home by ensuring as little food as possible is wasted.
Girl dinner also helps eaters honor the intuitive feelings and needs of hunger their own bodies are experiencing, such as the eater who creates a charcuterie-like plate and intentionally leaves room for a balance of fruits, vegetables, breads and cheeses that will satiate their hunger. These eaters are listening to their bodies, learning more about themselves with every satiating bite.
Finally, the conversation on TikTok has brought together women (and men) as we all engage in conversations about how we eat with ourselves and others.
In a world where women have been asked by society throughout history to be homemakers who cook every meal, yet only eat just enough to be skinny-but-not-too-skinny, are criticized for eating “boy dinners,” then shamed into unhealthy and ineffective yo-yo dieting, #GirlDinner offers a new outlook on eating. Any plate is a good plate, so long as it honors the needs of your body. And it is a collective experience. Girl dinner may be enjoyed alone by some, but there is no denying we all understand the unexpected liberation of a thoughtfully curated plate.
Girl dinner as a spiritual practice
What some theologians might call the interconnectivity of creation is exemplified by this meal. By participating in girl dinner, eaters become in tune with themselves as they listen to the needs of their bodies.
These eaters are also engaging in a collective human experience because all humans are eaters who hunger for food, and this act of thoughtful plate curation offers a space of spiritual connectivity between us. And at the root of this eating endeavor, eaters honor creation by carefully selecting and sampling diverse parts of it for the good and necessary purpose of nourishment.
So, the next time you find yourself grazing through the pantry to curate a plate of food that is just right, think of your #GirlDinner as a spiritual practice in which you are loving thyself, connecting with thy neighbor and honoring creation.
Mallory Challis is a former BNG Clemons Fellow who is serving this summer as an intern at Providence Baptist Church in Charlotte, N.C. This fall, she will being studies in the master of divinity program at Wake Forest University School of Divinity.