I am notoriously bad at do-it-yourself projects. Indeed, it is something of a longstanding joke in our household.
Among my litany of DIY failures are the sloping shelf my kids’ LEGO figures use as an indoor ski run, the time I nailed myself into the closet while trying to fit a sliding door, and the section of motorcycle-themed wallpaper I managed to hang upside down in my young son’s bedroom, leading to questions like, “Dad, do motorcyclists wear helmets because their heads are always bumping along the ground?”
No wonder that every time my wife sees me wander past with a toolbox in my hand and a meaningful look on my face, she gets very nervous.
Andy Bannister
But for all that, toolboxes are amazing things, and I’m often struck by how varied they can be. I’ve seen some folks with incredibly Spartan toolboxes, whereas others have the most amazing collections, such as my wife’s uncle who owns every tool ever made since the stone age, and who can knock together a Boeing 787 in his shed before breakfast.
For us lesser mortals, however, neither extreme is helpful. Most of us need something more than a hammer and something a bit less than an entire branch of Home Depot.
Just as a good DIY toolbox has an appropriate (while not crazily exhaustive) selection of tools to get basic jobs done, so too is there a need for a well-equipped, basic and usable-by-normal-people evangelistic toolbox. By far the most important set of tools to include are questions.
“By far the most important set of tools to include are questions.”
The four basic questions I keep in my evangelistic toolkit are:
- The what question
- The why question
- The wondering question
- The whether question
The what question is designed to unpack, challenge or tease apart what somebody has said. In an age of soundbites, it can be helpful to encourage somebody to clarify what they mean, and we can do this by asking questions such as, “What do you mean when you say there’s no evidence God exists?” or “I’m sorry you feel the church is full of hypocrites, but help me out — what do you mean by that exactly? Could you give me an example?”
The why question is helpful for encouraging somebody to explore the reasons for what they think. We live in an age when people have a tendency to say what they think but are not always so good at explaining why they think it.
For example, if a friend announces, “I don’t believe in God,” that’s all well, but just putting it out there, without any reasons, doesn’t get us very far. And so responding, “That’s really interesting. Why not?” can often move a conversation deeper. Rather than being afraid when we’re challenged by a skeptical friend, figuring out the right why question to ask can be very helpful.
Next up, the wondering question is invaluable when talking with somebody who doesn’t have questions, objections or challenges to what you believe; rather, they’re just apathetic, agnostic or uninterested in spiritual things.
How can we start spiritual conversations with these kinds of friends? Well, we can ask questions that encourage them to wonder about the source of the things they care most about. For example, if your friend is deeply concerned about human rights, a question such as, “Have you wondered why as humans we’re so concerned about justice?” can be a fantastic conversation starter.
“We can ask questions that encourage them to wonder about the source of the things they care most about.”
With a wondering question, you’re aiming to gently nudge a conversation in a way that in time will allow you to suggest Christianity offers a far more compelling explanation for the things your friend cares deeply about than does secularism.
And finally, the whether question is a great way of pivoting a conversation at the right point toward Christianity. Rather than boldly asserting something like, “I think atheism is about as much use as a chocolate teapot — you’d be a fool not to believe in God!” (which is possibly a tad confrontational), a question such as, “Have you ever thought whether it’s possible there is a God, for that would make far better sense of some things we see?” has more potential to open up a conversation.
Connecting a whether question to a wondering question can be particularly helpful. After helping your friend wonder a bit about some of the things they care most deeply about, at the right time you can ask them to consider whether Jesus makes better sense of these things.
“All four of these questions can be seen demonstrated by Jesus in the Gospels.
For example, in the story of Jesus and the rich young man, we see Jesus use the what question (“What do you mean by ‘good’?”). When Jesus asked the crowds about the conundrum of the Old Testament describing the Messiah both as David’s son and also David’s Lord, Jesus made excellent use of a why question (“Why do the teachers of the law say …?”).
Elsewhere in the Gospels, Jesus uses wondering questions (a good example is the Parable of the Good Samaritan in Luke 10, which gets his audience wondering about what true justice and compassion look like). And if you want to see Jesus deploy a whether approach, have a read of Matthew 11, where John the Baptist, languishing in prison, has sent some disciples to Jesus to ask whether he really is the Messiah. Jesus tells them to go back to John and report the deeds he has been doing, which would seem to fulfil what Isaiah had prophesied the Messiah would do. Thus John is invited to consider whether Jesus really is the promised hope of Israel.
All four of these questions can be seen demonstrated by Jesus in the Gospels.”
In Colossians 4, the Apostle Paul wrote these well-known words, encouraging the Christians in Colossae to think about how to reach their friends, neighbours, and community with the gospel: “Devote yourselves to prayer, being watchful and thankful. And pray for us, too, that God may open a door for our message, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ, for which I am in chains. Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act towards outsiders; make the most of every opportunity.”
I am struck by the way in this short paragraph Paul so clearly connects three things essential for evangelism: Prayer, opportunity and initiative. Begin with prayer, be devoted in prayer — pray, pray and pray some more. Then in answer to those prayers, look for opportunities to proclaim the gospel and do so clearly.
And as you do that, take the initiative and make the most of every one of those opportunities. Having some good questions in your evangelistic toolbox will help you tremendously with that last step.
We often joke that in our house, with two inquisitive children, we are used to short words that begin with “w” and end with question marks. But we can learn a lot from kids, because they’re not afraid to ask questions. We shouldn’t be afraid in evangelism, either, and so these four questions (what, why, wondering, whether) are great to keep in your evangelistic toolbox.
Andy Bannister is a speaker, writer and broadcaster. Based in the United Kingdom, he’s director of the Solas Center for Public Christianity, an evangelism and training ministry. He is an adjunct professor at Wycliffe College, University of Toronto, and an adjunct research fellow at Melbourne School of Theology in Australia. This column is excerpted from his new book, How to Talk about Jesus without Looking like an Idiot: A Panic-Free Guide to Having Natural Conversations about Your Faith, © 2023. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers. All rights reserved.
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