Troub, short for Troublemaker, is the well-earned nickname of a fellow I got to know some years back. You say “up” and “hot,” he says “down” and “cold.
Probably comes from his stormy days while studying at one of our fine Southern Baptist seminaries until he got sidetracked as a backsliding Christian. I have not given up hope that he will return to the straight and narrow, but whatever the case will be, we keep in touch, even though at times he can test the patience of Job.
Just the other day, for instance, he threw a verbal stick through the spokes of my bicycle while I was taking a leisurely ride.
“JRon, here’s a doozy of a curve ball I’ll throw in your direction,” Troublemaker said. “How many Palestinian ‘lost souls’ have Southern Baptists managed to get saved since modern-day Israel located itself on Palestinian land? Before you answer, and the reason I ask, I think I can make a good case to show that for Southern Baptists it has been a bad investment.”
“I have no idea,” I replied. “Besides, saving just one soul makes it a good investment.”
“He no doubt was playing me as a cat does with a ball of string, savoring the moment before pouncing.”
He no doubt was playing me as a cat does with a ball of string, savoring the moment before pouncing. “Why do you ask?”
“Just curious,” he said, offering no further elucidation.
“OK, I’ll bite,” I continued. “Sounds like a trick question. What’s this got to do with the price of eggs in China or how saving Palestinian souls is a bad investment for Southern Baptists?”
“Ah, since you can’t rightly say how many souls were saved, if you don’t mind, I’ll hazard a guess. I’ve known a few missionaries in my time and most agree people converting from one religion to another is almost unheard of, Christian to Muslim, Muslim to Christian or a Jew to Muslim or Christian. Don’t matter, it’s a rarity from a numbers point of view; far and few between.”
“Troub, you’ve piqued my curiosity. Reel me in,” I said.
“Southern Baptist sent over 25,000 missionaries to every corner of the world for 150 years,” he replied. “As you know, on Oct. 7 of last year, biblically speaking, all hell broke loose when Hamas ragheads attacked Israel. Not counting the soldiers from either side, around 600 Israeli civilians were killed when they were caught up in the middle of several firefights between Hamas and IDF.”
He held up a lone finger to ensure I did not interrupt his monologue: “JRon, let’s just say, for sake of argument, Southern Baptist helped bring 5,000 lost Palestinian souls to Jesus over all those years. What the Sam Hill, I feel charitable, let’s double that number to 10,000 souls were saved from everlasting hell and damnation.”
“Troub, hold on just a sec. So far you’re aren’t making a whole lot of sense. What in tarnation is your point, if you got one?”
“Patience my man, patience. Remember what it says in Romans 8:25,” he said, a man who hadn’t been inside a church since the cow jumped over the moon. ‘If we hope for what we do not see, we eagerly wait for it with patience.’”
“Yeah, OK, we can quote Scripture all day and all night, finish up with the Book of Revelation, if you like. Next, you’ll be reciting John 13:7, when Jesus said,’You don’t understand now what I’m doing, but it will be clear enough to you later.”
Troublemaker agreed: “No more scripture’fying. We’re now at the crux of the matter. Southern Baptist are of two main camps, one that emphasizes the New Covenant ‘good news’ of the gospel, which takes in most of the missionaries. The other camp includes a goodly number of Southern Baptist I know,” and he knew several, “whose religiosity druthers are primarily centered around an Old Testament, Old Covenant orientation, if you will. Their flavor of Christianity overflows with Thou shalt/shalt nots, their cup filled to the brim with condemnation, judgment, vengeance, a touch of Amalek justice and Israel-can-do-no-wrong kind of stuff. As to the Second Coming, they chomp at the bit to do their part to expedite Armageddon’s End of Days scenario and although few will admit it, forcing God’s hand to get off his duff to help bring it about.”
Troublemaker took a couple extra puffs on his cigarette, making sure he had my undivided attention.
“JRon, so far the number of dead Palestinians in Gaza approaches 40,000 souls, most of them women and children, a quarter under 7 years old, and if we wait until they finish them off in Rafah, that number may soon double or quadruple. These same Christian Zionists, without objection, insist on their government supporting what Israel is currently doing, and whether you call it just a walk in the park or genocide, either way it ends up the same.”
His hand shook as he tried to light another cigarette, half a cig still burning in the ashtray.
“Whoa, Nellybelle, I said, jumping in with both feet. “Israel has the right to defend itself. It is horrible so many Palestinians have died but they started it. If need be, the Israelis will finish it.”
“The right of self-defense, however, does not give anyone, and that includes Israel, a moral, legal or sacred right to mass slaughter unarmed civilians.”
Troublemaker stopped me in mid-sentence: “Hachi Machi JRon,” he blurted out. “I think we both can agree, Israel like every other nation has the right to defend itself. I believe that also applies to any people, including Jews holding out against the Nazis in the Warsaw ghetto, French Resistance, enslaved Blacks opposing slave owners or Palestinians uprising in defiance against 75 years of ongoing oppression. The right of self-defense, however, does not give anyone, and that includes Israel, a moral, legal or sacred right to mass slaughter unarmed civilians, many no more than babes wrapped in swaddling clothes when deprived of their life. Just the other day, the Israel Air Forced dropped American-supplied white phosphorus bombs on tents filled with women and children, burning them alive; at 1500-degrees Fahrenheit it was hot enough to melt steel. Hamas lives in tunnels 250 feet underground, not in tents, so why drop flaming phosphorus on women and children?”
“JRon, I know I’m hogging the talk time. Please forgive 70 times seven but I need to finish a thought that needs finishing before we get back to deciding whether or not it’s been a good investment for Southern Baptist,” Troublemaker said with a look of sincere contrition.
“What unpardonable sins have Palestinian civilians, especially the children, committed against anyone that would justify their eradication in the eyes of the Prince of Peace? Even if one finds themselves sympathetic toward Israel, devoid of any such feelings for the suffering of the Palestinians, I ask you as straightforward as it can be asked, how great must be one’s appetite for blood and revenge, of the need for the vengeful slaughter of so many? Would a half million or a million slaughtered, mutilated dead and starving Palestinians living atop bombed-out rubble quench that Amalek thirst?”
“Can’t help wondering how many now suffering and dying Christians and Muslims in Gaza share Jesus’ linage, his DNA.”
Troublemaker raised one interesting point I was remiss in ever giving any thought to: “For what it’s worth, Jesus was a Palestinian Jew and the uncle to his four brothers and two sisters’ kids and the great … great uncle to the thousands of descendents that followed down through the centuries, many Palestinian Jews who later became Christians in the first century and in later centuries, Muslims. Can’t help wondering how many now suffering and dying Christians and Muslims in Gaza share Jesus’ linage, his DNA. Just a thought.”
“Pray-not there be some among us who find themselves in agreement with Tim Walberg, a Baptist minister and a member of Congress, who says, ‘We shouldn’t spend a dime on humanitarian aid for the Palestinians. Instead, we should get it over quick with those in Gaza, like we did in Nagasaki and Hiroshima.’
On top of that, South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, a Southern Baptist who admits attending church at least thrice yearly, perhaps twice that during campaign season, also calls for the nuking of Gaza. While the good senator may not be a strong advocate for the welfare of the Palestinians, be it body or soul, he knows a good investment when he sees it. Seldom talked about is the newly discovered Gaza Marine natural gas field with an estimated 1.6 trillion cubic feet of natural gas, not to mention the vast mineral resources located in Ukraine, both investments worth pondering.”
He wasn’t done yet: “Why, pray-tell, do you suppose work among Palestinians has for Southern Baptist been a bad investment? I put it to you this way, JRon. If Southern Baptists working the fields by the sweat of their brow, for a century and a half managed to save the lost souls of 10,000 Palestinians, the investment in their flesh and blood and eternal souls, not to mention dollars and cents, doesn’t appear to be all that good of a pay-out. It’s not because the missionaries don’t have love in their hearts for these people. They do, but they are in conflict with those of the Christian Zionists flavor among Southern Baptists, those who provide their undying, unquestioning support of Zionist Israel while they refuse to call for a cease-fire of the ongoing slaughter.
“Instead they contributed to sending tens of thousands dead and from the Baptist perspective, unsaved Muslims to their eternal damnation, in just seven short months. I don’t need to remind you, once these poor souls are blown to kingdom come it becomes impossible for them to get saved. Southern Baptist are running a deficit in souls saved vs. souls lost, prematurely so.
“It appears Palestinians, as it is, now have to take their chances with Allah and hope for the best. Southern Baptist missionaries march to a different tune than their more Zionist brethren, historically whose eschatological-motivated zeal they sought to temper. Unfortunately, the missionary followers of the Lottie Moon tradition are ‘outgunned,’ pardon the French. Perhaps they should consider turning over their uphill efforts to ‘winning souls’ to the Methodists.
“Lindsey Graham, Tim Walberg and many others of like mind are not alone in viewing the investment in Palestinian souls as a bad investment.”
“The Methodist religious hierarchy expresses less righteous indignation in invoking the ‘Christian war tradition’ than the SBC Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission did in its ‘Evangelical Statement in Support of Israel.’ This impressive list of seminary presidents, former presidents of the Southern Baptist Convention, pastors of megachurches and hundreds more exhort Israel to bear the sword against its foes.”
Troublemaker finished up with his monologue, perhaps providing some much-needed food-for-thought.
I will add a thought or two of my own to conclude this report to Southern Baptists. Lindsey Graham, Tim Walberg and many others of like mind are not alone in viewing the investment in Palestinian souls as a bad investment. Some might say the good senator would prefer seeing all that wasted money flushed down the drain better spent building a couple dozen megachurches or condominium developments overlooking the beautiful Mediterranean Sea in Gaza for the settler community or better yet donated to his campaign.
Who has a crystal ball? Not I, but the current trend for Southern Baptist missionaries in the Middle East and its witness for Christ are on a slippery slope. Who, especially among the Muslim countries, would be inclined to welcome those who supported the ethnic cleansing of a people, be it from an act of commission, by their active support or by an act of omission, by their silence?
Jimmy R. Coleman, aka JRon, made his first appearance on our fair planet at some point during the last millennium. The earlier years of his sojourn among his fellow mortals were expended during the tumultuous times of separate water fountains, segregated schools and the KKK. It also was an exciting era where many of his generation did battle to help improve the situation as it was. A series of short stories and poems reflecting the give and take of bygone days are a major aim of his writing herein and elsewhere.