Early on in my ministry as a pastor, I asked a deacon to tell me about the congregation's future plans and vision. He replied, “Preacher, we'll do anything that you can get us to do!” That deacon may not have fully understood the meaning of the priesthood of the believer, but he helped me understand the importance of pastoral leadership.
I became a pastor in the spring of 1970. Now having served three different churches for 35 years, I realize that I have learned some important lessons that I wish I had known before I began my first pastorate. Much of this learning came through the mentoring of others.
I have learned the most in the crucible of experience, the best teacher of all. I am indebted to the three churches I served as pastor—Pleasant Grove Baptist Church in Greene County, Harrods Creek Baptist Church in central Kentucky and Crozet Baptist Church in Albemarle County. These congregations taught me much and loved and supported me throughout my learning curve. The following are 13 of the most important lessons that I have learned since becoming a pastor.
1. Seminary did not equip me with all of the skills that I needed to be an effective pastor. The seminary did a good job of training me in pastoral care, preaching, biblical studies, and theology—all of which are vitally important in ministry. However, seminary did not teach me some of the other crucial skills needed to be an effective pastor: conflict management, small group facilitation, leadership and relational skills. Looking back, I wish I could have served a one-year apprenticeship under an experienced pastor or at least had an able pastor to mentor me during my early years in the ministry.
2. Budgets, buildings and baptisms are not the true measure of a church. The purpose of the church is disciple-making. Jesus commissioned his followers to make disciples throughout the world (Matthew 28:19) beginning where they lived. A church with 12 members who are committed and growing disciples is more successful than a church with 1,000 nominal, uncommitted members. In fact, a congregation that makes a real commitment to disciple-making may grow smaller before it grows larger. Over time the result will be both spiritual and numerical growth because mature disciples are committed to making more disciples and because the world needs Jesus and Christian community more than anything else!
3. Doing ministry is not the main task of a pastor. Ephesians 4:11-12 is clear on this. The job of the pastor is to equip other Christians to do ministry. Of course, pastors are called to do ministry also, because they are Christ followers; but this is not their primary calling. In God's plan, church members are to be the frontline ministers of their congregation; pastors administer and train members for ministry. This is at the very heart of our Baptist belief in the priesthood of every believer. For many years I tried every day to do the most ministry I could for the most people to the best of my ability. Then I discovered the pastor's real biblical job description: To help church membership discover, develop and use their own unique gifts to minister in God's Kingdom and for his glory. The pastor's primary mission is to make ministers.
4. Building big churches is not God's primary purpose on earth. God is in the business of building Christian community. Jesus said that all of the scriptures can be distilled into two life principles: loving God with your whole being and loving others as you love yourself (Matthew 22:37-40). Our love for God and neighbor represent the end to which all Scriptures lead. Therefore, the worship of God should be the highest priority in every church. The small group life of a congregation is also crucial and vital. Every church needs caring groups engaged in prayer, Bible study, fellowship, ministry and outreach. In our society of strangers and a multiplicity of cultures, where many individuals don't even know their own neighbors, people thirst for God and Christian community.
5. Door-to-door visitation is no longer the best way to do evangelism. In our secular, postmodern culture, people do not want solicitors of any kind, especially religious proselytizers. If you come uninvited to their door, they will likely perceive you to be a Mormon or a Jehovah's Witness.
What is the best method of evangelism for your church? I don't know. It may be starting a small group ministry in your church or in a new housing development, or starting a contemporary worship service or a traditional service at a different time or different day of the week, or building a stronger children's program, or developing a strong senior adult ministry. A study of the needs of your congregation and the community that you serve is the first step to discovering the most effective ways to do evangelism and ministry in your locale. The Apostle Paul put it best: “I have become all things to all men so that by all possible means I might save some” (I Corinthians 9:22).
6. The most important thing in a church is not who the pastor is. Pastoral leadership is important; but the most important reality in any congregation is having a compelling, common vision. “Where there is no vision, the people falter” (Proverbs 29:18). Many churches have a multiplicity of programs and ministries, but there is no connection among them. Pastoral staff and active members burn out trying to maintain all of these programs. Most churches need to do less, not more. The best thing a pastor can do is lead the congregation to study the Scriptures and develop a shared vision. This vision path needs to include core values, a mission statement, a general strategy for accomplishing the mission and a way to measure progress in accomplishing the mission. Then the church must invest its primary resources (people and money) in fulfilling the vision. This is what Jesus did with his disciples. His church had few members, but they turned the world upside down!
7. The primary cause of conflict between the pastor and people is unmet expectations. Church members have specific expectations of their pastor. These can range from the minister's styles of clothing, leadership and worship to the pastor's frequency of visitation and hours spent in the church office. Often, some of these expectations are unclear or unrealistic. What makes matters even more difficult is that different members of the same congregation have differing expectations of their pastor. Pastors have varying expectations of church members as well. I would not become a church's pastor today unless we had developed together a written, mutual covenant of expectations approved by the congregation. This covenant should be reviewed and revised as needed each year. It can also serve as a basis of evaluation for both the pastor and the congregation. This covenant of expectations is more important than any job description! The Virginia Baptist Mission Board has published an excellent resource, Developing Covenants for Church-Minister Relationships, for developing such a covenant.
8. Church conflict is rarely caused by outsiders. Most church conflict is caused by church members (laity and clergy). These individuals may have genuinely accepted Christ but may not have matured in Christlikeness. Their lives are characterized by gossip and grudges and quests for power and control, instead of being characterized by the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). If some church members (and pastors) behaved in a secular workplace the same way that they do at church, they would be fired! Gossip, grudges, divisiveness, manipulation and quests for power and control are sinful and contribute to unproductive, unhealthy conflict.
9. Conflict is not all bad. Conflict is not necessarily a sign of immaturity. In fact, it can be a sign of health. It would be a really dull, uncreative, and unproductive church if everyone always agreed. If there is never any conflict, the congregation is not doing its job. Through working to resolve conflict, we can learn and grow and make better decisions; we can clear the air, address real issues, clarify misunderstandings and foster needed changes. It is unresolved conflict that is always bad. Whenever there is a serious disagreement, people need to discuss it in the Spirit of Christ until a solution is reached. As important as fellowship is, the purpose of the church is not to be one big, happy family all the time; it is to help people grow in their relationship to God and in the way of Jesus Christ.
10. The church is not a democracy. It is a theocracy. Thus, the important thing is not what you think or what I think, but what the Lord thinks. The Bible is clear on this. In all things, we are to seek the mind of Christ (Philippians 2:1-8). In every situation where conflict boils over into anger and alienation, the best approach is to ask everyone present to join in an extended time of spoken and silent prayers seeking the mind of Christ. Then the meeting should be adjourned with each person present covenanting to pray for the Lord's will in the matter until the next meeting.
11. Business meetings and town hall meetings are not the way to deal with church conflict. Whenever there is a vote on an emotionally charged issue, there are winners and losers; and often the church becomes even more divided. Town hall meetings can be dominated by a small number of outspoken members while most members remain silent and never speak up for fear of being attacked. All too often the meeting ends up making matters worse. The resentment and division spawned by the unresolved conflict will likely be far worse than the original problem.
12. Conflict that is not dealt with will not go away. If left untreated, a minor wound can lead to a life-threatening infection in the human body. The same thing can happen in the body of Christ when unintended scrapes fester into spiritual gangrene. In Matthew 18:15-17, Jesus outlines the Christian approach to conflict resolution. First, you go to the offending person; if you cannot resolve the matter one-on-one, then take one or two others with you. If this small group cannot resolve the conflict, only then do you bring the matter to the church. When a divisive issue or a proposed change needs to be brought to the church, I have found that a town hall meeting utilizing small groups is the best first approach. Instead of having a large group free for all, have the members sit around tables and discuss the matter at hand. Beforehand, select and train trusted church members each of whom will lead the discussion at their table and make sure that everyone has an opportunity to speak. Afterward, each table's moderator can present a summary of the discussion at their table to everyone present. This way questions and concerns can be raised that church leaders may need to address before the matter is brought back to the congregation again.
13. The church is not about you and me. It is the only organization I know that exists to serve those who are not members. Many people shop for a church that will meet their own needs. If the church fails to meet their needs or if decisions are made that they don't like, they leave and begin shopping for a new church. The local church does not exist primarily to meet members' needs. It exists to worship the Lord and carry on his work and witness in the world that all persons may come to know Jesus and grow in him as the way of and to God. The church is really about God and his redemptive mission in the world. You and I have the great privilege of being part of what God did in Jesus and what he is doing in the world today through the Holy Spirit!