By Elizabeth Evans Hagan
Jesus’ words from the Sermon on the Mount, “love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” are among the phrases most quoted and memorized by many of us in seeking to be followers of Jesus. They are the “quick” responses many give in Sunday school when asked what we would do if violence struck close to home.
Moreover, these words of Jesus are among the most respected by those in other faith traditions. Yet with all our admiration and knowledge of this teaching, these words are among the most difficult to put into actual practice.
What would you do if your son or daughter were killed at the will of a group with political and religious views different from your own? Would you wish ill will toward the other group? Would you campaign for more war and violence? Or would you reach out in love?
While on a recent, interfaith delegation of peace to Israel, I encountered a family whose life story embodied love of enemies. Kamel and Salma Zaidan in Galil, are not Christians, however, but Druze, a monotheistic religion that is a part of the diverse landscape of Israel. Members of the Druze faith identify themselves as Arab but do not serve in the Israeli army.
Fifteen years ago the Zaidans, were living peacefully among their neighbors, seeking to provide a good life for their two sons, when they got the news that no parent should ever have to receive. A suicide bomber from the nearby region of Golan Heights had killed their eldest son.
And, at this tragic moment of mourning, Kamel said that he and his wife had a choice. They could proceed in hate against the family whose son killed their child. They could make it their mission to do all that they could to ensure their neighbors felt the sting of great loss that now abides daily with them. Or, they could love their enemies and pray for those who persecuted them.
The latter was the Zaidans’ powerful choice.
When more than 4,500 people attended their son’s funeral, Kamel spoke to members of the press who were eager to get an enraged comment from him. Instead, he declared: “I do not blame the man who killed my son or his family, nor can I hate them. For, the reasons for such a tragedy are greater than these two families. It comes from the society we all contributed to creating, a culture that allows such violence to happen.”
Kamel went on to say, “Peace involves living in loving relationships, and this is what I intend to do with all of my neighbors, even more passionately than before”
Indeed, the Zaidans did just this. They put feet to their desire for peaceful coexistence and founded the Bereaved Family Forum, along with several other families both in Israel and the Palestinian territories. The organization provides grief workshops and fellowship opportunities to bring together families on both sides of the conflict that have experienced loss of a loved one.
Love, according to the Zaidans and others within the Forum, is actualized only when you are willing to get to know those who are perceived to be your enemies. Upon first getting over fears of those whom they would be encouraged to hate, the power of relationships broke into life-giving community. Stories were shared, birthdays were celebrated and births and weddings in families were rejoiced. And in this spirit, the organization has grown rapidly to include over 500 families at present, serving as a beacon of hope for reconciliation within a very divided region.
I think often about the Zaidans and their testimony of faithfulness, especially when I hear the recent reports of more conflicts in the region of Israel. I think about the Zaidans’ courage, their optimism, and how their willingness to be led in peace has brought forth a different way of existing with political and religious conflict, even when there are no easy solutions.
And, I wonder what might happen in our towns and cities if we took more seriously our cues from Jesus, seeking to know those whom we hated and praying for those who have wronged us?