As Baptists, the time has come for us to have the talk. The talk. The talk about which everyone has an opinion, but no one seems to have the courage to address. Yes, that’s the talk I’m referring to. The birds and the bees. The big one. The sex talk.
Alex Gallimore
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In recent months, conversations about sex have been found everywhere. No, I’m not referring to racy reality shows such as The Jersey Shore and The Bachelor or to the many sex-oriented teen hits such as Glee, the entire program list of the CW or movies featuring sexy vampires. Although these programs cannot seem to get enough of the topic, it has found its way into our lives on a much more daily, fundamental level. In fact, while many of us were watching said television, sex became as politically divisive as unemployment, war and immigration.
While sex has always been present in American public discourse, it has usually remained hidden behind such sub-topics as unmarried mothers, adultery, abortion and homosexuality. In many cases, religious communities have carried such discussion. As the 2012 race to the White House heats up, however, so too has the presence of sex in the process.
In January, when President Obama voiced his plan to require employers to cover contraceptives in employee heath insurance programs, every front-running presidential candidate immediately had something to say. Almost overnight, sex became the issue. Debates on contraception led to debates on planned parenthood, parental consent and served to elevate other sexually driven discourse on abortion, same-sex marriage, and embryonic stem-cell research. As this transpired, the state of Washington became the seventh state to legalize same-sex marriage; A California court overturned Proposition 8; and many states, including North Carolina where I reside, divided over constitutional marriage amendments.
Given these divisions, is it possible that Americas can find ways to talk about sex that are healthy, unthreatening and gainful? I think it is more important than ever that Baptists living in the United States sit down and have the sex talk for themselves. In April, Baptists from across the nation will gather in Atlanta and do just that at the first [Baptist] Conference on Sexuality and Covenant. According to its website, the conference, sponsored by the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship and the Center for Theology and Public Life at Mercer University, hopes to serve as “an opportunity for honest, compassionate and prayerful dialogue around matters and questions of sexuality.” Ultimately, the conference could be a venue where at the very least, difficult questions can be addressed and a diversity of voices can be heard in response to one of biggest issues of our day.
The conference itself has not been free from criticism. Some believe that it undermines local church autonomy since those organizing the event represent only a minority in CBF and some of these individuals may be acting independently of their own congregations. This seems a rather misguided notion, since Baptist conscience has long compelled individuals into the dissenting wilderness in order to better bear witness. Congregational autonomy and covenant never existed to quench the fires of individual conscience.
The conference comes at a time when many in CBF life, especially the emerging generation of ministers with which I identify, seek to revisit the organization’s hiring policy which does not permit “the purposeful hiring of a staff person or the sending of a missionary who is a practicing homosexual.” As one group calls for change, another fears the division that change may create. Many wonder if the future of the entire CBF movement is at stake. Baptist disagreement and division? Perhaps. It is my hope that genuine discourse and civility may contribute to cross-generational unity.
As Baptists, we are capable of this kind of unity. Surely we can find ways to maintain our convictions while continuing to cooperate together. We must always value soul freedom and respect the consciences of others, even when we disagree. Above all, we must never become a people who cease to move forward because of fear. This would make us poor Baptists and, quite honestly, poor Jesus followers.
So the time has come for the talk. Let’s have that conversation and decide together what we think about these inescapable issues. Let’s welcome a diversity of voices and allow our own hearts and minds to be stretched. At the very least, let’s not end the conversation before it even begins.
Alex Gallimore ([email protected]) is associate pastor for youth at Piney Grove Baptist Church in Mount Airy, N.C., and is in his final year at the Wake Forest University School of Divinity.