In the previous issue of the Religious Herald we began a leadership link series on preventing conflict. In that first installment, we considered Christ’s character traits of humility and sacrifice that made peace. In subsequent issues we will look at the example of the early church. Today, we continue asking what about Jesus made him a peacemaker?
Consider his assertiveness
Those who see Jesus only as gentle, meek and mild don’t know him very well. Jesus was one of the most assertive beings to walk the planet. To some, the traits of assertiveness and sacrifice will seem contradictory. They reason that assertiveness is putting yourself first while sacrifice is putting yourself last. In reality, neither assumption is quite true. Both assertiveness and sacrifice mean that we see oursleves and our needs in relation to others and their needs.
Assertiveness should not be defined as getting our own way, necessarily. Rather, it is the process of controlling our own emotions and reactions instead of being controlled by others. Assertiveness recognizes the rights and opinions of others but also recognizes that our rights and opinions must be considered as well.
If we value only our own opinions, we are self-centered and we discount other people. As a result, they may become angry or apathetic. If we value only the opinions of others, we discount ourselves and we may become angry or apathetic. Neither of these extremes is desirable.
In his book Anger and Assertiveness in Pastoral Care, David Augsburger wrote: “The assertive lifestyle takes human worth and the dignity of human relationships seriously. Facing differences assertively, it works toward mutually satisfying resolutions. It seeks to free both sides in a conflict to prize their equal worth, respect their equal dignity, and experience their equal powerfulness.”
Jesus’ assertiveness is seen in his relationships. He did not consider himself too holy to associate with publicans and sinners. He could converse easily with a Samaritan woman who had been married five times and was living with a man to whom she was not married. Jesus accepted this woman but was not willing to accept what her sin was doing to her. So, assertively, Jesus confronted her with the sinfulness of her lifestyle. As a result, her life was changed.
Jesus valued himself and his own mission as well. For this reasons, he would not be intimidated by the Jewish religious leaders who questioned his credentials. An example is seen in Matthew 21:23-27:
“The chief priests and elders of the people came asking, ‘By what authority are you doing these things, and who gave you this authority?’ But Jesus answered and said to them, ‘I will ask you one thing too, which if you tell me, I will also tell you by what authority I do these things. The baptism of John was from what source, from heaven or from men?’ And they began reasoning among themselves, saying, ‘If we say “From heaven,” he will say to us, “Then why did you not believe him?” But if we say, “From men,” we fear the multitude; for they all hold John to be a prophet.’ And they answered Jesus and said, ‘We do not know.’ He also said to them, ‘Neither will I tell you by what authority I do these things.’”
This assertiveness kept Jesus from being drawn into a conflict with the chief priests even though they were trying to provoke an argumentative response. Valuing others and valuing ourselves is a good prescription for preventing destructive conflict. It should be noted that the “others” whom Jesus valued were not necessarily the chief priests and elders, but the multitudes to be reached with the good news of his life and sacrifice.
Contrary to what some believe, Jesus’ attitude was not, “Let’s all just get along.” He had assessed the needs and wants of the chief priests and elders and valued them accordingly without becoming hostile.
Consider his nonviolence
To his followers, Jesus said, "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.”
Jesus’ conduct during his trial and crucifixion indicates two things. First, he intended to be taken literally not theoretically. When the soldiers slapped, and spat, and mocked, he did not return the violence. Second, his example illustrates that turning the other cheek is, indeed, possible. Sometimes even Christians act as though it isn’t.
Seldom are many of us literally slapped in the face. More likely, our “slaps” are verbal attacks. Speed Leas commented on turning the other cheek in our age. “What that means to me is that when the battle has begun, I do not leave, nor do I attack. I stay there. I stay in range of getting hit again. I take the risk of not destroying the other person or leaving the scene.”
Of course, there may be times when the prudent thing is to withdraw for a time to get a handle on our emotions, but turning the other cheek means to re-engage. When at last the fury of a person’s anger is spent, dialogue can occur. Rather than escalating, conflict is thwarted.
Christ requires that we follow his example. How can we really be his followers and do otherwise? If church leaders can learn to contain and diminish conflict in their churches, the kingdom of Christ will be strengthened beyond measure. Modeling authentic Christ-likeness in our relationships is a sure way for a church to get the attention of its community.
In the next issue of the Herald our series on preventing conflict continues.
Jim White ([email protected]) is executive editor at the Religious Herald. Much of this material was gleaned from the author’s previous writing in a book called Equipping Deacons to Confront Conflict (Nashville, Baptist Sunday School Board, 1987).
Related stories:
• Blessed are the church leaders who make peace in their own congregations, part 4
• Blessed are the church leaders who make peace in their own congregations, part 3
• Blessed are the church leaders who make peace in their own congregations, part 1