Meeting up with good friends recently, we all hugged and chatted about changes in our lives during the tumultuous pandemic. Everyone, of course, contributed with updates.
At one point, I shared that a decision we made didn’t seem to be headed in a good direction, and I noticed a friend listening attentively.
Then he held my gaze and said slowly, “These are not your people.”
“In an instant, those five words clarified the situation I’d been struggling with.”
In an instant, those five words clarified the situation I’d been struggling with. It just took another set of ears and a wise heart to speak the truth. I was a bit stunned for a moment. “You’re right,” I responded with unexpected relief. “They are not my people.”
Other friends revealed they were struggling with conflict and division in their church. They felt programmed to behave politely and superficially in order to belong, to keep the peace. “We can no longer explore spiritual questions or mention any current news topic,” she said. “And I can’t read the headlines without seeking Jesus’ guidance.
Phawnda Moore
“We miss feeling that he is the Spirit and Truth of the church, but it is silent, and we don’t want to start over yet. “
Frederick Buechner, author and Presbyterian minister, says that pain “involves being alive to your life. It involves taking the risk of being open, of reaching out, of keeping in touch with the pain as well as the joy of what happens because at no time more than at a painful time do we live out of the depths of who we are instead of out of the shallows.”
It was clear that our friends were paying attention to their pain and were seeking a path that would lead to connection and growth. Jeremiah 24:7 says, “I will give them a heart to know me, that I am the LORD. They will be my people, and I will be their God, for they will return to me with all their heart.”
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope,” says Jeremiah 29:11.
Wisely, Buechner speaks to those experiencing conflict: “The contradiction is resolved when you realize that for Jesus peace seems to have meant not the absence of struggle, but the presence of love.”
Deciding to be free to live in faith brings gratitude. And gratitude changes everything. What a blessing to have friends who speak the truth in love; it takes courage. We are made for relationships like this, created and anchored in God’s love.
Phawnda Moore is a Northern California artist and award-winning author of Lettering from A to Z: 12 Styles & Awesome Projects for a Creative Life. In living a creative life, she shares spiritual insights from traveling, gardening and cooking. Find her on Facebook at Calligraphy & Design by Phawnda and on Instagram at phawnda.moore.
Related article:
Seven suggestions for preventing conflict before it happens | Opinion by Bill Wilson