Like many others, I enjoyed the fascinating Cold War TV drama, The Americans. The show depicted a Russian couple living as spies in America. After their daughter began attending a progressive church, the mother initiated several conversations with the pastor.
In one scene, he could tell she was struggling with something, so he encouraged her to pray for guidance. She asked, “What if you don’t believe in God, or religion, or prayer?” He responded: “None of those things matter. All that matters is how we treat each other.”
Martin Thielen
A lot of religious people would take issue with this fictional pastor’s unorthodox views. And plenty of them would consider it heresy. But his comments point to an important truth. At its core, authentic spirituality is not about beliefs. It’s about behavior. And that insight, more than anything else, brought resolution to my decades-long spiritual struggle.
An end to religious angst
As I’ve shared before, I long grappled with spiritual angst, especially around traditional beliefs and institutional religion. For years I agonized over questions like: Is God personal? Does God intervene in human affairs? Do miracles occur? Does prayer make any difference? And was Jesus really divine?
I also grappled with the dark underbelly of institutional religion.
Ultimately, these theological and institutional struggles resulted in my early retirement as a minister. Although that resolved my vocational dilemma, it did not solve my religious angst, which continued unabated.
“Authentic faith has very little to do with religious doctrines and institutions.”
However, over the past few years, I have made a major spiritual breakthrough. Like the pastor in The Americans, I’ve finally come to realize authentic faith has very little to do with religious doctrines and institutions. Instead, it’s all about how we live.
This insight hit me as I reread the Gospels in retirement. Freed from vocational restraints, I was able to fully see, for the first time, Jesus cared little about traditional religious trappings. For example, when he called his first disciples, Jesus didn’t say a word about religion. He simply said, “Follow me.”
And Jesus’s “Great Commandment,” to love God and neighbor; his “Golden Rule,” to treat others the way we want them to treat us; his parables; and his core teachings as seen in the Sermon on the Mount had virtually nothing to do with conventional religious concerns.
Additional examples demonstrate Jesus valued behavior over belief. When a young man asked Jesus how he could inherit eternal life, Jesus didn’t say anything about religious beliefs or institutions. Instead, he said, “Keep the commandments, sell your possessions, give the proceeds to the poor, and come follow me.”
In his famous parable about the Good Samaritan, Jesus commended loving behavior, not religious beliefs. And in his parable about the last judgment, Jesus stressed people will be judged not on doctrinal beliefs or institutional fidelity, but on how they respond to the poor, the sick and the stranger.
“Jesus stressed people will be judged … on how they respond to the poor, the sick and the stranger.”
Although it should have dawned on me much earlier, reading these stories about Jesus — without wearing the filter of an institutional church worker — resulted in a life-changing epiphany. I came to realize that, unlike most clergy I know and unlike me, religiosity didn’t interest Jesus; ethical and loving behavior did.
After rereading the Gospels, I decided to finish the rest of the New Testament. Once again, I noticed the same theme — behavior, not belief, is the heart of biblical faith.
For example, James said, “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world” (James 1). And the Apostle Paul said, “The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love” (Galatians 5).
After finishing the New Testament, I decided to reread the Old Testament. Once again, I noticed the biblical preference for behavior over beliefs. For example, the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20) say absolutely nothing about religious doctrines. Instead, they call for ethical living, including not stealing, not lying, being faithful to our spouse and honoring our parents.
“The Ten Commandments say absolutely nothing about religious doctrines.”
And the Old Testament prophets did not demand pure beliefs but pure living. As Micah said: “What does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6).
In short, I discovered Jesus and Scripture clearly teach that God cares far more about ethical behavior than religious beliefs or institutional loyalties.
Simplicity on the other side of complexity
These days, I no longer fret about organized religion or doctrinal beliefs. I still find these subjects interesting. And I enjoy writing about them. But I’m no longer consumed with them. The religious angst I carried for decades finally has disappeared. It’s almost like a light switch has been turned off. I’ve come to realize while conventional religion can be helpful and has its place, it’s not the main thing. Instead, loving behavior — not religious beliefs or institutions — is the core essence of healthy spirituality.
A few years ago, I came across a quote attributed to Oliver Wendell Holmes that has come to mean a lot to me. He said, “I would not give a fig for simplicity this side of complexity, but I would give my life for simplicity on the other side of complexity.”
After many decades of grappling with faith, I feel I have finally journeyed through the complexity and found simplicity on the other side. I now realize I never will understand the mysteries of God or solve the problems of institutional religion. Nor do I need to. Instead, I only need to follow the call of Jesus to live a life of love. It’s as simple as that.
The heart of Christianity
Of course, I’m not the first or only person to figure out Christianity is more about behavior than it is about beliefs or belonging to an institution, as the following examples attest:
- In A New Christianity for a New World, John Shelby Spong says Christianity is “not something to be believed, but a faith into which we must live.”
- In Saving God from Religion, Robin Meyers says Christianity is “a way of life, not a system of creeds and doctrines demanding intellectual assent to theological propositions.”
- In Faith After Doubt, Brian McLaren says,“The only kind of faith that means anything is faith that expresses itself in love.”
- In If God Is Love, Don’t Be a Jerk, John Pavlovitz says, “When it comes to the heart of it all, your religion isn’t what you believe; your religion is how you treat people.”
Although she didn’t write a book, a wise woman once said to me: “I’ve never believed in the hocus-pocus part of religion. Isn’t Christianity about loving your neighbor?”
Yes, it is. And that should be our focus.
Seeking to live a Christian life
These days, rather than fret about religious beliefs and institutions, I put my spiritual energies into living a Christian life. For example, I try to live out Christian values like love, mercy, grace, honesty, humility, integrity, marital fidelity, inclusiveness, empathy and authenticity.
I also seek to engage in Christian practices like forgiving people, practicing generosity, serving others, expressing gratitude, showing compassion, being kind, prioritizing relationships and working for justice.
These kinds of Christian values and practices are central to my spiritual life.
Although I’m now retired, I still engage in Christian ministry. I don’t serve as pastor of a traditional church anymore. But I serve as a “pastor” to a congregation of seekers, doubters, strugglers and other thinking people who are trying their best to navigate faith in the 21st century. I deeply love the work.
And while I no longer hold traditional Christian beliefs and I’m not currently participating in a traditional congregation, I enjoy a rich spiritual life. This includes:
- Belief in a nontraditional God
- Love for Jesus
- Appreciation for the church
- Participation in meaningful Christian community
- A serious effort to live out Christian values and practices
Martin Thielen, a retired minister (Southern Baptist and United Methodist), ex-megachurch pastor and best-selling author, is the creator and author of www.DoubtersParish.com.
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My long farewell to the evangelical church
My last visit to a Southern Baptist church
Why some clergy lose faith and leave church