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With marriage debate, remember real people are involved

OpinionJoe LaGuardia  |  August 13, 2010

By Joe LaGuardia

Just when I thought politics could not get any more heated, federal judge Vaughn Walker overturned Proposition 8 — the California law banning same-sex marriage in that state — Aug. 4. The decision claimed that the law infringed on rights guaranteed in the 14th Amendment to the Constitution.

Certainly, we have not heard the last of this legal battle, which will likely make its way up to the Supreme Court.

Since the case is (for the time being) somewhat localized to the westernmost part of our continent, we here in the Southeast have the luxury of watching this issue unfold from afar. But being so detached from something so controversial causes us to lack the perspective needed to trudge through the murky and dangerous waters that surround not just the politics involved, but the people as well.

The capstone paper (a master’s thesis of sorts) for my master-of-divinity degree was on homosexuality and the Bible. In the process of doing my research for it, I came across every perspective that got to the heart of Proposition 8, same-sex marriage and sexual orientation. I tackled uncertain data in both the theology and science concerning these issues. What was certain was the fact that people on both sides of the debate (and people in the center of the debate as well) have strong opinions.

It is easy to fight about issues when we feel passionately about them. It is in the fighting, however, that we often fail to recognize that real people are affected by legislation surrounding all controversial topics — from abortion to energy reform to equal rights. It is easy to bark out an opinion from a lofty ideological perch far removed from the mess of daily life.

In my own work as a pastor, I have realized that policies can change over time, but the needs of people never change. People need God’s salvation, compassionate embraces, enriching relationships, tear-absorbent shoulders and attentive ears. People need to feel safe and welcome. People need to have the opportunity to hear the gospel, experience God’s love and walk with God in the midst of humanity’s limits and failures.

My concern here is not for the politics of the day but for the people directly affected — many of whom I don’t know and others with whom I share meals, birthdays and holidays on a regular basis. They are friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, strangers no longer strange.

When we debate same-sex marriage, people’s relationships are at stake — people’s lives. No matter what you think or what your opinion is, we are dealing with real human beings who have real human needs, not animals that we can contain in legislative cages. These are not automatons or caricatures, but are like us — earthen vessels who contain God’s creative fingerprints.

Debating aside, the real question is whether our churches — God’s sacred communities that embody the message of God’s redemption — are able to reach out to real people who get kicked around like political footballs.

This question will become more acute as time unfolds, because many people will continue to get hurt on both sides. Many people will need to hear our message of hope when their worlds collapse under the pressure of litigation and legal maneuvers.

Our churches need to be safe havens rather than cold institutions, detached and aloof. We must get off our comfortable perches and jump into the mud — the very mud our God chose to enter when he became incarnate in the lowly peasant of a man, Jesus. In fact, God is already there working; we only need the courage to join him.

Getting into the thick of it requires both risk and humility on our part. Jesus’ own incarnation can be our guide: According to Paul’s letter to the Philippians, Jesus emptied himself, affirmed the very community he sought to redeem, humbled himself and ultimately sacrificed himself on behalf of the marginalized. And Jesus did all of this out of joyful obedience to God.

In risking our reputations in our local communities, we must be obedient, joy-filled, and humble in serving “the least of these,” notably same-sex couples who are looking for sacred and safe places to grow in Christ.

This starts by transforming our holy places of worship from being merely “welcoming” churches to becoming “embracing” communities of faith. We are not like a local restaurant I frequent, which has employees shout, “Welcome!” when people enter the doors only to have those same consumers eat at separate tables, segregated by families or cliques. Rather, we are to be communities of faith that welcome and embrace every one of God’s children, inviting them to the table of fellowship and friendship.

After all, as God-image-bearing human communities, we are all in this together.

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