EDITOR’S NOTE: This is the first of two columns contrasting prevailing cultural attitudes on sexuality with classic Christian ethics and calling for Christians to reclaim their own heritage in a countercultural practice of Christian community. The second will be published next Monday.
By David Gushee
America is a country largely liberated from an earlier conservatism, often called “prudishness,” about sex. This liberation came about as a result of the conscious efforts of numerous social reformers during the 20th century who believed that sex is one of life’s highest goods, that the repression of sexual desires is bad for people psychologically, that it is unrealistic to confine sex to marriage, and that it would be a very good thing to use newly refined birth-control methods to disentangle sex from the risk of pregnancy.
It was not only secular voices that embraced some or all of these changes. Eventually a large community of Christian ministers, theologians, and moral thinkers argued for a rethinking of sex. They wanted it to be seen less as a means to an end — sex makes babies, babies are good, therefore sex must be permissible — to an end in itself. Sex should be viewed as a good gift from a good God who created the pleasures of sex and wants us to enjoy ourselves; and sex is also good in the way it draws us closer to our sexual partner in the act of lovemaking. More conservative Christian thinkers celebrated these good gifts but sought to confine them to marriage; an increasing number of other Christian leaders were not so sure about holding onto those historic limits.
Loosening sexual attitudes also presented business opportunities. Greater tolerance for selling products on the basis of what used to be called “sex appeal” presented a treasure trove of marketing opportunities. Eventually, the dramatic reshaping of American attitudes toward sex meant that sex itself, and not just sex appeal, could increasingly be sold on the open market. People could buy not just sexy cars, but sex itself — as with the marketing today of sexual services on Internet sites.
Popular culture certainly got in on the act. In the 1950s, Elvis Presley shocked much of the public with his gyrating hips. By the 1970s, Donna Summer sure sounded like she was in the act of having sex as she moaned out “Love to Love You Baby.” Now even the “censored” versions of rap songs communicate how much the singer would like to “make love in the club,” or alternatively, that he is “into having sex, not into making love.” Very little is left to the imagination.
Some raw sociological facts have contributed to the apparent crash-and-burn of the more conservative Christian sexual morality. Probably the most important is that people keep delaying or abandoning marriage. It was one thing to tell kids to just say “no” until marriage, as I did, at 22. That was excruciating enough. But now with average ages of first marriage climbing into the mid-to-upper 20s, and with many people not marrying at all, the message that sex belongs within marriage is bumping up against hard demographic realities. The Christian who refrains from sex until the age of 26 or 28 is definitely in the minority, fighting against the forces both of nature and culture.
The ‘60s sexual revolutionaries assured their contemporaries that looser sexual mores would not be a problem because of the magic of birth control, especially the Pill. But 40 years later, half of all pregnancies are unintended and just under half of the unintended pregnancies end in abortion. This is almost universally recognized as a bad thing, even by those who favor our current abortion laws, because an unwanted pregnancy creates a great and terrible crisis — especially for the woman.
So America finds itself stalemated on these issues. We are not willing as a society to put the genie back in the bottle, but all is hardly sweetness and light. We are a sexually “liberated” and open society, and people are free to have sex with whomever they want, as long as there is consent and everyone is of age. Meanwhile, we encourage young people to be responsible with their sexuality and to use birth control rather than risk pregnancy. We also warn young people about disease. Many unwanted pregnancies occur — and many of these are dealt with through legalized abortion, which is ever more deeply entrenched. People who love each other or even like each other a bit are expected, and expect, to have sex, regardless of marital status. And as a result, many songs and movies will be written by and about people who unintentionally get pregnant (as in “Knocked Up”), or get their hearts broken in sexual and romantic relationships that don’t quite work out (as in the romantic tragicomedy hit this year, “500 Days of Summer.”) Sexual activity is assumed; relationships are fragile; hearts are broken; then everyone tries again, scars and all, until they get lucky in love or give up altogether.
Does Christianity have anything to say into this cultural context?