ATLANTA (ABP) — When people ask Becky Shenton what she does for a living, she always replies, “I work for the church, and I help people.”
Becky and her husband, Doug, work with an unlikely group of people in the middle of suburban America — Afghan refugees in Fremont, Calif. And it's a big job. There are more than 50,000 Afghanis in the East Bay area alone.
“Even though they are from another culture, we have so much in common,” Doug Shenton said about the Afghans. “They want the same things — freedom, a safe and decent place to raise their families, to get a good education and make a decent living. We're not as different as we think we are.”
The Shenton's work involves helping the refugees assimilate into American culture. They meet regularly with 20-25 families, most of whom are new arrivals to the United States, and buy groceries for them, drive them to appointments, or help children with homework.
Becky, a native of Toms River, N.J., said she soon found that the simplest tasks can be challenges to people unfamiliar with the English language.
“Things like discerning when you get a piece of mail if it's someone trying to sell you something or a credit card offer that needs to be thrown away [can be difficult],” she said.
In many instances, the refugee families are large, including five or six children, and are often led by widows whose husbands have disappeared or been murdered by the Taliban. Families are tightly knit and the culture emphasizes fellowship, so the Shentons have found that simply spending time together is a good way to reach the Afghan people.
Doug Shenton, a native of Edison, N.J., said everything he does with the Afghans is “very relationship-oriented” in order to develop trust.
“Their culture is very gracious,” he said. “It's founded on hospitality. When we go visit families in their home, we drink tea and eat sweets and sit and talk. If they have a need, they won't be very forthcoming. They don't tell their problems to strangers. After we've chatted about everything maybe for an hour — really exhausted their English vocabulary — they might offer up a question or ask us to help them fill out a form.”
By being willing to sit and listen the couple can discover the families' most pressing needs. Money and good health are two big concerns for the Afghan refugees, but what they perhaps need most is a friend, Becky Shenton said.
“About a week ago, one of our Muslim friends told me she had a doctor's appointment and asked me if I knew someone who could take her,” Becky said. “I ended up driving her myself. She said to me, ‘When Christians help me, they do it from their heart.' On another occasion, she told me that our friendship was worth more to her than money.”
While not fluent in Dari, an older version of Farsi spoken by the Afghan people, the Shentons know a few words like “hello,” “how are you,” and “delicious.” For the most part, however, the Shentons rely on children to help translate conversations. They also spend time helping elementary, middle school, high school and college students with homework.
“This has proven to be for Doug and me a real point of entry to the families,” Becky said. “Parents are grateful to their American friends for helping their children with something as important as homework and English-language study.”
“After they get to know you, they will ask questions,” Doug agreed. “Amazing opportunities will pop up, and little by little, you're planting seeds. They all know we are Christians and that we are helping them because of Christ.”
The Shentons, whose three-year term as Cooperative Baptist Fellowship representatives ends in June 2007, said they hope to turn their ministry over to local Christians who will continue the work with the Afghan people. It will be a long process.
“Research has shown that in this culture, from the first time the message of Christ has been heard to acceptance is an average of eight years,” Becky Shenton said. “You have to be invested in the long haul.”
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