When last we saw the Bubba-Doo’s crew, they were off on an ocean cruise to the Western Caribbean. Funny things had happened, and more misadventures were about to happen.
One thing you can count on with our beloved community members: They will be true to themselves wherever they go. We love them, and that genuine nature lends us memories and impressions that will last a lifetime.
Today, the cruise ship stopped at its private island for what is primarily a beach day. However, this particular island is co-developed by its nation and the cruise line. In addition to its massive expanse of beaches, there are quite a few restaurants, shops and bars.
Charles Qualls
Danny and his wife stopped off in a large shop there before they picked out a pair of chairs to relax on the beach. His wife does like to shop, and he went in dutifully with her. To his surprise, this particular shop had a massive selection of colorful patterned Caribbean and Hawaiian-style camp shirts.
From floor to ceiling and all around in probably a 20-by-20-foot area, all the eye could see were different colorful button-up shirts just like he wears every day in Bubba-Doo’s kitchen.
I walked in along with my wife. Stephanie, Marleen and their husbands were with us. First thing we saw was the tall, narrow Danny standing paralyzed in place. He would make small turns to look in another direction now and then. Not a word was coming from his open mouth.
“This may be what it looks like when someone stumbles upon nirvana,” I speculated.
Stephanie said, “Do you think he’s all right? He’s just staring and not saying anything.”
Marleen went over to a spellbound Danny. “Honey, you doing OK there?” She could hardly get the words out for laughing.
Danny said: “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life. I want this one. Or that one. No, maybe that one … OK, I want ’em all,” he snickered finally. What’s more, the shirts were reduced on a good sale.
“Hey, how about one or two for now and then maybe a couple more at Christmas?” his wife offered. Danny was about as happy as I’ve ever seen him as we all looked around for a few minutes and then went on to the beach.
My wife and I moved on out of the shop and settled in under an umbrella. A pair of loungers would be our home at least for the morning. Some time passed as we relaxed there.
“They were drawing a bit of attention because they had both worn short-sleeve dress shirts, shorts and long dark socks with leather shoes.”
Landrum and Ralph had made their way off the ship now and stopped by with us. They were drawing a bit of attention because they had both worn short-sleeve dress shirts, shorts and long dark socks with leather shoes. They were quite the sight, and if the early 1960s returned they would be the epitome of beach cool.
People were glancing at them and snickering a bit I suppose. Anything generational and especially different in someone can catch us off-guard. But, to each their own.
Ironically, I heard Landrum exclaim, “What in the Sam Hill is that feller wearin’?!” I looked over at him and Landrum had abandoned any social graces. He was full-on pointing with his index finger.
A European group was getting settled just down the beach from us. Some of them were about to go for a swim. This being his first time on a Caribbean cruise, no one had prepared Landrum for this particular cultural nuance of couture. That’s right. He had spotted his first Speedo.
About that time, we heard a commotion from overhead. First, we heard a pair of shrill humming sounds. Instinctively, everyone glanced upward from where the noise seemed to be originating.
Then we heard a pair of voices cackling and yelling. There is a pair of cable lines over the beach. Zipliners fly at high speed right over sunbathers in a thrilling ride toward a landing platform on the other side. Probably a good 70 feet up in the air.
To our amazement, Stephanie and Marleen were racing each other side-by-side on the zipline. This particular one was the kind where they harness you in but you fly fully extended, belly down and arms out. Picture Superman flying and you’ve got the image.
“Woo … HOO!!!” is what we mostly heard as they flew right over us. They were the first daredevils we got to watch on the zipline, although they were closely followed by their guys also racing. The sound of their laughter trailed out of sight as we saw them finally reach the platform.
The day passed beautifully, with soft Caribbean music playing nearby. Relaxing was easy in the perfection of that spot.
“Back on the ship that night, there was another lesson soon to come about the entertainment.”
Back on the ship that night, there was another lesson soon to come about the entertainment. The big show that night at 9 p.m. was a comedian. These headliners are rarely super famous but usually have made appearances on well-known talk shows.
Shirley and Shakira were at the evening show. A lot of us were. That show is normally pretty tame. Families may even bring children there. To be clear, the comedians will toe the line but may wiggle their toes just a bit over it when it comes to how clean their material is.
Late night comedy in the smaller venues? Now that’s a different matter entirely. Late night comedy is always clearly billed as “adult” and often a warning is given that parents might not want to bring their kids.
Shirley just went on and on about how funny that young man was at the 9 p.m. show. She practically begged Shakira to go with her to the smaller comedy club onboard so they could hear some more from him.
“Shirley, are you sure you know what you’re bargaining for at that later show?” I asked.
“Well, that young man was so funny and cute. I could absolutely eat him up. There wasn’t anything offensive, at least not too much.”
“OK,” I pressed. “Just remember I asked.”
The next morning, we were at the buffet. Marleen and Stephanie were passing harsh judgment on food and bar service overall, while everyone else thought things were perfect.
We all see things in our own professions differently than others, I suppose. But they were detailing things they would do differently in restaurants and bars on board. They were agreeing on one other thing, too. That on balance, despite all the shortcomings, it was nice being served for once.
About that time, Shirley and Shakira came in. Shakira was still laughing. She glanced at me and winked. Then, I knew what to ask Shirley.
“Hey ladies, how was the late night comedy show?”
“I just don’t know what happened to that nice young man. It’s like between shows, he completely changed personalities.”
Shirley lifted her head my way and snorted. “I just don’t know what happened to that nice young man. It’s like between shows, he completely changed personalities.”
“So, he wasn’t so clean later on?” Fred squeaked from a nearby table.
“Honey, he made me blush so many times I nearly got up and left. He talked about … well, he talked about things he ought not be talkin’ about. I wonder if his mama came on this ship what kind of show he’d be puttin’ on then?” Shirley expanded.
“He talked about body parts and indecent things. He talked about medical things and I wasn’t ready for all that,” she finished. We all had a good laugh at her newfound insights about the comedy world.
We were leaving breakfast and walked near the forward staircase and almost passed by as a small work crew repaired a cap piece on a staircase rail. Something caught my eye, though.
On further examination, I realized what caught my eye was one of our group members right in the middle of them. Ralph was showing a ship maintenance crew how to temporarily fix the top cap of a stair rail with dark wood-grain colored duct tape.
This naturally brought about questions. Starting with, why was Ralph working on anything when he was a ship’s guest.
Some of us sat in a group of chairs overlooking the atrium. Eventually, he came along and stopped with us.
“Ralph, honey,” my wife began, “what were you doing over there in the middle of a ship maintenance crew?”
What ensued I couldn’t make up if I had to. Because Ralph said he happened along right as they were evaluating a dark wood cap piece where the top of a staircase came together. He said they were realizing they couldn’t repair it, and yet a custom piece like that isn’t something the ship is just traveling along with.
So, what to do in the meantime? He had gotten curious about what they were doing. A supervisor stopped in and told them the piece would have to be ordered. So, in the meantime they needed to make it look better and seal it off for passenger safety.
Right as we came along, they were wrapping up the job with Ralph’s help. He didn’t speak Indonesian and the crew barely spoke English, but they all spoke maintenance.
Somehow Ralph had gotten them to wait there while he slipped back upstairs to his room. Now, they had fashioned quite a neat temporary wrap using his wood-colored duct tape.
We all looked at each other. Landrum asked what we were all silently wondering. “Ralph, what were you doing with wood-colored duct tape in your suitcase in the first place? On a cruise ship?”
“On and on the vacation fun went, through days in one port of call and then the next.”
Sometimes when Ralph is thinking as he’s talking, he gets to mumbling. I didn’t catch every word, but Landrum and Aaron snickered and shook their heads.
“Sounds about right,” Landrum said, and then laughed aloud. I suppose the rest of us may never know. On and on the vacation fun went, through days in one port of call and then the next.
Adventure never ceased to abound, including one afternoon when we felt our ship try to take a bit of a sudden stop out in open water. We were in between ports, really nowhere at the moment.
A few minutes later, we noticed the ship beginning to turn or revolve in the water. I went to the balcony door and slid it open. Now, I could hear in Spanish, “Ayuda Me!! Ayuda Me!! Mi familia … ayuda me!!”
As we stood on our balcony, looking off the side of our vast cruise ship we could see maybe 100 yards away a small vessel with people waving and yelling. “Ayuda me … AYUDA por favor!!” My wife wondered aloud, “What are they saying?”
I replied, “Honey, they’re begging us to help. They’re saying they and their family need help.” Sure enough, we watched for the better part of an hour. Finally, a lifeboat from our cruise ship was lowered down into the water.
A small security detail, along with medical help, rode out and began taking on passengers from the tiny homemade looking boat. In two trips, they had removed all the people from the little ship and, eventually, we made our way along our route.
The captain made an announcement, updating us that in the interest of humanity, and in compliance with international maritime law, our ship had rescued 12 souls who were distressed and stranded at sea. Questions abounded, but we could tell they were deeply tanned and looked thin and frail.
“Our ship had rescued 12 souls who were distressed and stranded at sea.”
The next day, my wife was drying her long mane of blonde hair. She only does this about every other day because it really is a production. Little could we know, but in a bit of a design flaw, our ship cabin had placed the hair dryer and mirror right under the super sensitive heat/smoke detector.
Without warning, a loud and shrill alarm began to sound. We knew instantly there was no fire in our room. We figured it must have something to do with the hair dryer. Immediately, our cabin phone rang with a call from the captain’s bridge.
The chief security officer asked if we were all right. She wanted to know if something was burning. We assured her we were fine and that the hair dryer had set it off. Minutes later, she knocked at our door. Using her radio, she confirmed that all was well and gave the code for the alarm to be silenced.
While there, this kind woman reassured us that this happened somewhere on the ship every few days. She was used to it. She also answered our questions about the maritime rescue the day before.
“How many were there and where were they from?” I asked.
“There were 12 refugees and they set sail from Cuba on Dec. 19,” was her response. I did some quick math. “You mean they were out on the open sea for 41 days?!”
“Yes, and some of them were in bad shape. Dehydration, lack of nourishment, and one of them is diabetic. Some were near death.”
“What do they need?” my wife asked. “Could we help with clothes or anything?”
“Oh, the cruise line is taking care of them. We’ve given them full medical evaluations and treatment, all the food and drink they can take. We’ve provided lodging and even new clothes. Tomorrow when we stop, Mexican authorities will take them in and oversee their care.”
“What will happen to them, then?” my wife asked.
“I don’t know altogether. They have procedures. But they told us they won’t be sent back to Cuba. That, they assured us. They will give them asylum.”
We were relieved and encouraged by her responses. We respected the decisive provisions the cruise line was making at its own expense.
Whatever opinions one may have about immigration issues, one thing was clear. These 12 souls set out in a rickety craft and floated for 41 days because whatever might lie ahead seemed better than what they were leaving.
We were touched and humbled by the whole incident when we considered things from that angle. All of it was a reminder of the relative comfort we take for granted.
It was a reminder of what the writer Thomas Friedman contends: That talent was distributed equally across our world, but opportunity has not been. It is also a reminder that even in a rural setting of what we think are some of the most average people, the relative safety and standard of living we enjoy makes us far richer than we usually realize.
Why humbled, you might ask? Because if any of us are completely self-aware and honest, none of us are what we like to call “self-made.” There are always things beyond our control to the best and worst of our lives.
Things we did brought us to where we are. Sure. Things we chose, too. But there are also things other people did and chose. Courses of history and life where we see the confluences of our own and others’ efforts. Really, when you stop and reflect, any of us could have been bobbing up and down on the ocean in a homemade craft, helpless.
It makes the life most of us returned to as the cruise ended seem extra sweet.
The getaway acted to refresh and to reset. It gave us new reasons to laugh and new ways to relax. New cause to stop and look around a little and be thankful for what we share back at home. Including at a place we lovingly call Bubba-Doo’s!
Charles Qualls serves as pastor of Franklin Baptist Church in Franklin, Va. He is the author of eight books.
Related article:
Bubba-Doo’s takes on the Caribbean — Part 1
Bubba-Doo’s makes the big time, now available as a book