VIOLENCE, RECONCILIATION AND CHRISTIAN CARE
Earlier today I was listening to a Senate hearing on how the various professional sports associations and their player unions deal with the issues of domestic violence, child abuse and sexual assault. The conversations triggered a number of questions and thoughts for me in regard to the response of Christian churches to these same issues. I would maintain that we, as communities of faith, are called to a standard that goes far beyond that of legal requirements or even victim advocacy and protection. We are called to ministries of reconciliation and healing. We are called to be the Body of Christ.
Let’s begin though with the basic legal requirements. As a pastor, as well as in my role as a therapist, I am considered a “Mandated Reporter.” This means that I am required by law to report any knowledge I might have of sexual or physical abuse of a child, elderly person, or anyone with a diminished capacity to care for themselves (such as a developmentally delayed adult). There are some other stipulations, but this is the basic gist of it in terms of the situations under discussion. If I know of it, I have to report it to the proper authorities. Failure to do so may result in criminal charges and civil lawsuits.
I am not, however, required to report domestic violence. And, unless the physical abuse is extreme, I could probably avoid any legal problems for not reporting information I might have about that. After all, the definition of ‘physical abuse’ varies from state to state and usually refers to the leaving of noticeable bruises or welts…things a pastor won’t usually see.
As conversations about sexual, domestic, and physical violence make headlines there is a push toward punishment of perpetrators. There is even some minimal push for education and access to hotlines for victims. In this maelstrom of media attention, churches are frequently silent or only minimally a voice for victim advocacy. Recent calls for sermons on domestic violence have been a refreshing, though one imagines short-lived, response.
Many pastors now keep at hand the phone number of at least one counselor or therapist to whom they feel comfortable referring. How many have the number of a drug and alcohol treatment program that they trust? What about the number for the local shelter for battered women and an understanding of the process for assisting a violence victim and their children to get admitted?
Let’s really push the envelope and ask how many pastors have the number for the local program for men who batter? Would they know how to refer a husband who came and said he was concerned about his violence toward his spouse? For those congregations that are dealing with openly gay and lesbian couples, does the pastor understand that domestic violence takes place in these relationships as well? How many pastors have received training on the causes and patterns of intimate violence?
The more information and understanding we have about these issues, the more we are able to respond to the needs of the congregations for whom we are responsible. The less fearful we will be about addressing these issues and the more open our members will be about sharing them with us. Many of us have seen this same process of awareness and knowledge producing openness in the area of substance abuse. You don’t have to be an expert, don’t have to be the one providing treatment….we just have to present that we know enough to point someone in the right direction and that we’re not afraid to listen.
The scary thing is that when we do this, the needs will become glaringly apparent. And along with those needs will come the needs of the perpetrators of this violence. They too are people for whom Christ died and with whom we are called to be agents of reconciliation. Will our ministries be guided by our fear and our repulsion? By the actuarial tables of our insurance company? Or by the example of Jesus and the teachings of scripture?
If we chose the latter, we will find ourselves encountering persons very much like ourselves….a scary thing in itself. We will find ourselves sitting with wounded, fearful, damaged sinners. Hurt people who have hurt people. But if we can nail our feet to the floor, listen to the stories of both those who have been victimized and those who have victimized others, we will discover that we can truly impact the cycle of violence. We can move the Kingdom of God a little closer as “laborers together with God.” If we try to look at all of those affected through the eyes of Jesus, our hearts will be broken as we discover that many of the perpetrators that we always viewed as ‘monsters’ were once themselves frightened, small victims.
And in both victims and victimizers, we will meet the Christ who said, “as you have done it to the least of these, you have done it to Me.”
None of this is easy. None of it will happen overnight. It will be a slow, often painful, challenging process. There will be lots of pushback. But what might happen if we took seriously Paul’s words that “we have been given this ministry of reconciliation,” and sought to reflect in our work the work of God who “was in Christ reconciling the world back to God’s self?” What loaf might rise with that kind of yeast?