(ABP) — Divorce — the word seemed to leap out of the e-mail from her soldier husband that Nancy (not her real name) had so eagerly opened.
Discussions of divorce among military personnel generally conjure the idea of a weary soldier’s receiving a “Dear John” letter while stationed on some far-away battlefield.
While that is still most common, often the reverse happens — the service member determines, sometimes while thousands of miles from home, that he or she no longer wants to be married.
A growing problem?
Is the divorce rate among service men and women higher now than in the past? Has deployment to Iraq, Afghanistan and other combat zones increased the rate among military personnel?
No single answer to those questions has yet emerged. Noticing a doubling of the number of divorces among military personnel from 2001 to 2004 and concerned that long deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan have contributed to the increase, Pentagon officials commissioned a study by the Rand Corporation. The Pentagon sponsors Rand’s National Defense Research Institute, a federally funded research and development center.
Released in April 2007, the Rand study showed no spike in the rate that could be directly correlated to the Iraq and Afghanistan wars. Researchers Benjamin Kearney and John Crown analyzed military records from 1996-2005 for 6 million soldiers. They found that divorce in the military declined between 1996 and 2000, and then gradually began to rise. The military divorce, separation and annulment rate rose 3 percent in 2005, the same rate as 1996, when the deployment rate was not as high.
Rand researchers did not examine divorce rates among soldiers returning from war, nor have they studied which spouse — the civilian or the military member — most often files.
“It’s more traumatic at the return [from war] than the separation [from family] itself,” noted Chaplain Col. Johnny Almond, a volunteer military-ministry coordinator for the Virginia Baptist Mission Board and pastor of Colonial Beach Baptist Church, Colonial Beach, Va. “If records were studied after deployment, [researchers] would probably discover the divorce rate is rising.”
The rate is rising among female military personnel, according to the Rand study. Women in military service are twice as likely to end their marriages as are their male counterparts.
The study suggested two reasons for the disparity, which also is supported by a 1991 study of Gulf War veterans. First, existing support programs may not provide sufficient support for families of married military women.
Second, the study concluded that marriages of women service people “benefit significantly less from being deployed.”
“We’re not arguing that deployment is good for marriage,” Kearney, lead researcher for the Rand study, explained in a recent telephone interview.
However, he added, deployment does provide some positive outcomes, particularly financial benefits due to increased combat pay. “Some benefits may outweigh some of the emotional costs,” he said.
Rand studies indicate that the longer an individual is deployed, the less likely he or she is to divorce, Kearney added.
Military programs
All service branches offer resources to strengthen military families, including briefings for soldiers on how their absence and return could affect relationships and how to cope with change. Family support groups, marriage retreats, marriage-education programs and programs designed to educate single soldiers about choosing a mate also are offered.
Programs tend to be geared to active-duty personnel. Reservists and National Guard members often live far from the nearest military base’s family-readiness center — which provides support. Likewise, many Reserve and National Guard spouses may not meet or spend significant time with other military spouses, noted Eric Lewis, pastor for military ministries at Shadow Mountain Community Church in El Cajon, Calif., and military ministry leader for the Southern Baptist North American Mission Board’s Vision San Diego emphasis.
Church ministry possibilities
Lewis offers immediate crisis care for military spouses facing divorce through counseling services, much as he does with civilians. But the reservist and seminary student currently in chaplaincy training also helps spouses navigate the necessary channels to get access to services the Department of Defense offers to them.
Col. Bob Page, command chaplain for the Air Force's Air Combat Command, agrees that churches should respond with immediate care. “They need someone to be there. Most are away from their extended family…or friends to walk through the ordeal with her or him,” he said.
Churches should offer continuing support as well. Page recommends DivorceCare or similar programs.
Remember single parents and divorcing members during special events and holidays. “Even Sundays are family-oriented and can be lonely for that person,” he said. “Help the divorcing person know he or she is not alone. It would be easy for that person to feel isolated and alone.”
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