Some would be embarrassed to admit they went on a tour of doughnut shops, but those same people would be secretly jelly to learn that Carol and I have experienced the marvel that is the Brooklyn Donut Tour.
We invited friends to join us for this amazing walking tour, because walking helps you lose weight. We visited four of America’s iconic doughnut shops. No Dunkin’. No Winchell’s. No Krispy Kreme — which doughnut tour guides call “flat, waxy, fried Wonder bread with glaze on it.”
We started at Doughnut Plant, which got its name because each morning the baker’s wife said, “Have a good day at the plant!” We enjoyed the authentic Mexican sweetness of tres leches cake doughnut while our guide shared the glorious, gluttonous story.
Brett and Carol Younger on their doughnut tour.
One of the best reasons to cough up the dough for a doughnut tour is to be inspired by history. The 1485 cookbook Mastery of the Kitchen includes a recipe for sugar-free, stuffed, fried dough cakes. Dutch settlers brought to New York oily cakes, which resembled doughnuts, but were not round.
Whoever came up with the name “doughnut” is a genius, as it is much more appetizing than “leavened fried dough.” The first cookbook using the word “doughnut” was the 1803 edition of The Frugal Housewife. Hanson Gregory should be on a postage stamp for inventing the ring-shaped doughnut in 1847.
Our second stop was Happy Zoe Vegan Bakery, where we ate gluten-free, dairy-free, flavor-free chocolate chocolate doughnuts. This is where our guide chose to point out that doughnuts are high in sugar and calories, and that the only healthy part of a donut is the middle. If you eat too many, you end up glazed and confused. We donut fear the reaper, but donut want to go out in a glaze of glory either.
Lewis Black said, “If you stop eating donuts you will live three years longer. It’s just three more years that you want a donut.”
Moe’s Doughs, where we enjoyed French crullers filled with lemon zest and covered with maple, continues the tradition of cleverly named doughnut shops. There are a hole lot: Amazing Glaze Doughnut Shop, Dirty Dozen Donuts, Doughbie Brothers Doughnuts, Drunkin’ Donuts, Hole-in-One Donut Shop, Holey Moley Donuts, Nuts for Donuts, Taste of Heaven Donuts, The Crusty Cruller, The Donut Hole, The Donutery, The Duke of Dough, and We Knead Doughnuts. (Moe’s was the first donut shop in which I noticed a CPR kit. Are they always there?)
Photo: Food Beast
We ended up at Peter Pan Donut for apple fritters. The oldest doughnut shop in Brooklyn was named in 1955, two years after the movie Peter Pan. In 2021, MJ worked here after school in Spider-Man: No Way Home.
One of my fellow doughnut tourists, who is usually a good person, made a reckless comment about the police car parked out front, to which our guide responded: “Police officers have worked odd hours for a long time, but there haven’t always been a lot of options for food in the wee hours. During a citywide lockdown after the Boston Marathon bombing, a handful of Dunkin’ Donuts locations were ordered to remain open to serve police and first responders. You may want to rethink your sarcastic attitude.”
The author sampling the harvest of the tour.
We understand it would be a mistake to eat doughnuts every day, but a good doughnut every now and then is good for the soul. Doughnuts help us recognize the difference between want and need. We may want abs, but we need doughnuts. Doughnuts are a personality test. The optimist sees the doughnut whole. The pessimist sees the doughnut hole.
We need buttermilk, old fashioned, and cider doughnuts. We need doughnuts filled with jelly, cream and custard. We need doughnuts shaped like bars, twists and beignets. We need doughnuts covered with sprinkles, frosting and snowflakes of powdered sugar.
We don’t have to be doughnut nuts, but we need to find ways to celebrate. We should mark our calendars for National Donut Day, June 3. We might consider the Tour de Donut, a bicycle race in Staunton, Ill., on July 9. In this unique event, riders’ times are reduced by five minutes for each donut they consume during stops in nearby towns.
Donut stop believing. Eat doughnuts on Sundays because they are hole-y. How much happier will your next deacons’ meeting be if you bring doughnuts? Youth ministers are always looking for activities that do not require athleticism, like a doughnut tour.
When our days are filled with stress, we need to sing, “Donut worry. Be happy.”
Brett Younger serves as senior minister at Plymouth Church in Brooklyn, N.Y.
Related articles:
The editor regrets to report that no “related articles” could be found, definitely demonstrating a hole in BNG’s prior coverage of the culinary arts and tourism.