Money is a tricky topic in our society, and we have to be careful how we handle it, because our children are watching. If we act like money is the answer to everything, what will they learn? It is important to keep money in perspective. Talk about the source of our blessings, and why we give. Show that it's important to you, and it will become important to them. It's a habit that must be developed, just like brushing teeth.
Bruce Powers
We tried to avoid the money issue with our kids, and for many years “money” was quarters that could activate rides at the food court. But eventually they had to learn the importance of money, and of giving. Ann was easy. Some children are naturally giving, and Ann is one of them, freely sharing almost anything with God or anyone else. But Abby has struggled a bit. One morning we gave Abby some money and told her that she could use some for herself and give some to God when we went to church. The eyebrows lowered, the bottom lip began to stick out, and she growled out that she did not like this idea. My wife Traci responded, “If you're going to be that selfish, I don't know if I want to share any money with you.” Quickly Abby mustered a smile, and said, “I was just kidding!” But she wasn't.
So there we were in the sanctuary after church, with Abby clutching the dollar bill in her little fist and approaching the altar with great hesitation. Painfully, she dropped the money into the plate. We cheered and told her how important that was, and she tried to smile through her tears. Then one of our church members called her over, told her how proud he was, and gave her a dollar, explaining that when we give to God then good things come our way. Then someone else slipped her some money, again emphasizing the blessings of giving. By the time we left, the tears were forgotten and a beaming child held five dollars in her hand. After lunch she got to buy treats for herself and her sister, and we talked all day about how great it is to give. It doesn't always result in instant payoffs, but it always makes us feel good.
We wouldn't want our children to think of church as a giant ATM, or to expect to get something every time they give, but this event provided a wonderful foundation for our home discussions of money, giving, and stewardship. I am so grateful for a church family that was ready to help teach such a valuable lesson, and Abby now sees money differently. A few days ago, thinking we might go to the mall for some rides, I showed her some quarters and asked what we do with them. “Give them to help people!” she exclaimed. She's catching on, and maybe she'll help me remember what money is really for.
Bruce Powers, whose column appears monthly, is pastor of Westhaven Baptist Church in Portsmouth. Contact him at FaithShapers@gmail.com. Other parenting resources are available from Diane Smith (diane.smith@vbmb.org) of the Virginia Baptist Mission Board's emerging leaders team.