What are we trying to do to our children?
You have probably read or heard the statistics that indicate the importance of instilling faith in children. The likelihood of a person coming to faith declines significantly with the onset of young adulthood. Most churches — and parents — are very serious about raising children in the faith. In this next series of articles, I will be discussing what we should be trying to “do” to our children based on their stages of cognitive, social, moral, emotional and spiritual development.
I think we all know that babies and toddlers cannot wrap their little minds around concepts like the Trinity, atonement and salvation. However, this does not mean that there is no point in teaching them. The truth is, everything they experience teaches something — and we want to make sure the right lessons are being learned. First we will examine the teaching at church, and then in the home.
When children are very young, our goal is not so much to instill faith in them as it is to let them experience the family of God. Some people are tempted to think of nursery workers as people who do little besides play and do crafts (and maybe change a few diapers). On the surface that may be true, but these early experiences are key to laying a foundation for faith. At this age, children cannot understand the important concepts of the gospel, but they can feel love. They cannot make sense of a God who has no physical form, but they can feel trust and belonging. By making the church atmosphere one of unconditional love, joy and safety, we are preparing them for later stages of spiritual development. A church that produces young children who feel like they belong at church and have no doubts about the love that lives there is a successful church indeed.
Bruce Powers
That being said, let's not overlook the fact that churches can do no more than support the efforts of parents. A child's parents carry the responsibility of representing God. In order for a developing person to be able to embrace the idea of a heavenly parent, the earthly parents must lay a solid foundation. This does not mean we have to be perfect, but we are called to be godly, and that should extend to our parenting. Our children need to experience unconditional, sacrificial love. They need to know that we have expectations of them, that there are consequences for disobedience, and that nothing they do can change our feelings towards them. They need to know that we are always thinking of them, always wanting the best for them, always there when we need them. For a baby to develop healthy social relationships, he or she must learn to trust. A child who cannot fully trust parents is going to have enormous difficulty trusting God.
Ideally, the church and parents work together to prepare the young child for the next phase, which involves teaching the basics of faith.
Next month: the school years
Bruce Powers, whose column appears monthly, is pastor of Westhaven Baptist Church in Portsmouth. Contact him at FaithShapers@gmail.com . Other parenting resources are available from Diane Smith (diane.smith@vbmb.org) of the Virginia Baptist Mission Board's emerging leaders team.