Most people who teach students of any age can relate to that moment when they get stumped by an unexpected question. This seems to happen more often with children because they think so differently compared to adults. It is okay to be stumped, and even to say that you'll need to do some research; we just want to avoid giving adult answers to child questions. It is my hope that by talking through some of these tricky topics ahead of time, you will be less likely to get stumped. If there are topics or questions you would like me to address in future columns, please feel free to email them to me at the address provided below. You can always take your child to ask a pastor, teacher, or other minister, but it's a good idea to give that person a “heads-up” beforehand.
When we talk about ideas that are tricky in terms of explaining them to children, the Trinity comes to mind right away. Some adults still struggle with this highly abstract concept. As a starting point, I would advise you not to waste your time trying to explain the three-in-one idea to anyone under 13. They might be able to parrot back to you what you say, but their minds simply cannot make sense of it. For now, talking about the Father, Son and Holy Spirit separately is the way to go.
God the Father is in some ways very simple, but the fact that God has no form can be an issue for children who think in very concrete terms. What is real to a child is those things that can be experienced directly through the senses. When we teach children about God, they cannot grasp God's true nature, so they typically picture an old man in their heads (let's be honest, adults try to make God into a person as well). I remember as a child drawing a picture of an old man in a blue robe, sitting on a throne in the clouds. Children have to “translate” abstract things into something they understand, and that's okay. We just need to emphasize God's love and desire for us to do right, make God a part of our normal vocabulary and thought, and add the rest over time. We can tell our children that God is everywhere, God is a spirit-being, etc. There is nothing wrong with telling children things that are true; just realize that they can't make sense of it yet.
Remember, nobody is able to understand everything the first time through. The process of Christian education and spiritual formation involves going over the stories multiple times over the years, each time adding a new layer of depth and meaning. Otherwise, after two or three years there would be no point in going back to Sunday school! Embrace what children can learn and don't sweat what they can't. Our goal should be to give them the best explanation that they can handle at that point in their development.
Next month: the Son and the Holy Spirit.
Bruce Powers, whose column appears monthly, is pastor of Westhaven Baptist Church in Portsmouth. Contact him at [email protected] . Other parenting resources are available from Diane Smith ([email protected]) of the Virginia Baptist Mission Board's emerging leaders team.