Communion is a reverent, mystical event that takes us back to the very roots of our faith — and kids find it fascinating. Children always notice when adults get serious about something, and they want to be involved in special things. Many kids “zone out” during worship for the simple reason that it is not designed for them, making it inaccessible and uninteresting. But they zone back in during communion. Maybe they sense the holiness, the quiet, the change of pace in the service — or they just like the shiny plates. At any rate, they know it's something important, and they want in on it.
Bruce Powers
There are different schools of thought on how to handle children and communion participation. Historically, taking part in the Lord's Supper has been reserved for professing, baptized believers. For this reason, many parents do not allow their children who have not made a profession of faith to partake of the bread and cup. Others, for a variety of reasons, allow their children to participate.
I have seen many families struggle over this issue, trying to balance out the holiness and meaning of this sacred tradition with the overwhelming curiosity and sky-high inclusion factor of their children. It doesn't help that it is virtually impossible to explain the deepest meanings of communion to young people, so it is quite a trick to make them understand why they shouldn't do what everyone else is doing. I would like to point out that I think struggling is good — the greatest danger is making the decision without great consideration.
The balance comes between two negative outcomes, which is why the struggle is necessary. On the one hand, allowing “unconverted” children to take the Lord's Supper carries the danger of cheapening the experience to the point where it is no different from any other ritual. On the other hand, denying participation can represent a danger to the child's spiritual development, possibly dampening a child's enthusiasm for spiritual things, or making them think that they should just get baptized so they can participate.
Children who are old enough to be in adult worship services are old enough to learn some important lessons through discussing this issue. Developmentally, their faith is primarily based on adopting the values of their family and church, and if they have been “raised right” they already feel like part of the church. I would not encourage allowing children to take communion until after they have had serious conversations with their parents about it. This is a spectacular opportunity to talk about Jesus, why we remember what he did, and salvation. Children can understand remembering and gratitude. I believe they can “come to the table” with a pure heart and right intentions, if prepared correctly. Instead of baptism becoming a hoop to jump through, it can gain even greater meaning through this process, and the Lord's Supper can become a means for children to worship and grow in their sense of belonging to God and to the church.
Bruce Powers, whose column appears monthly, is pastor of Westhaven Baptist Church in Portsmouth. Contact him at [email protected]. Other parenting resources are available from Diane Smith ([email protected]) of the Virginia Baptist Mission Board's emerging leaders team.