This is the third in a series on making churches family-friendly.
Through our research and experience with churches and families, we have come to learn families are exhausted and overscheduled. Church has become another obligation, even for the most faithful and devoted families.
Time was the most-mentioned challenge to faith formation for the families involved in our research. Between work, school, extracurricular activities and church, families are scheduled for most of their waking hours, leaving only a few hours a day for quality family time.
Families with children often include middle-aged adults as parents/caregivers. When these middle-aged adults are regular participants in the faith community’s activities, they often are asked to be involved in ministries and leadership roles. These responsibilities take up even more of their time.
When parents/caregivers are overwhelmed by church responsibilities, the last thing they need is another church program.
We heard from too many parents/caregivers who were overwhelmed by their church duties and often sacrificed family time to fulfill their church responsibilities. When parents/caregivers are overwhelmed by church responsibilities, the last thing they need is another church program.
As churches, our first impulse to fulfill a need is to plan a new program, activity or event. However, for faithful families, another program may not be the best answer.
Sarah Boberg
Instead, churches should engage families through the programs that already are a part of the regular schedule. Engaging families in learning and experiences during the already scheduled attendance rhythm makes it easier for families to participate. It is OK to sacrifice regular lessons and activities to provide special programming and learning opportunities.
For example, if families already are participating on Sunday mornings, instead of planning a special event on a Saturday, why not plan it on Sunday morning? It is OK to “cancel” Bible study one Sunday to provide a special program or ministry event for families when they already are in the rhythm of participating.
Another thing churches can do is plan informal, outside-of-church meetups that fit within the regular rhythms of families. At my last church during the summer, we did not have regular children’s programming. However, four times throughout the summer, we scheduled informal meetups for families that were available.
We scheduled two “meet and eat” times at a fast-food restaurant, where families could eat dinner, children could play and parents could connect. We also scheduled two playground and popsicle meet-ups at local playgrounds. These were advertised, but not over-emphasized. Families already are eating dinner and finding things to do during the summer, so these informal meetups were an option for families to keep doing what they were doing, but with their people within their faith community.
Finally, churches need to learn to plan breaks. It is OK to build breaks into the regular church schedule. Every fifth Sunday could be Worship at Home Sunday, where families and/or small groups create their own acts of worship. Breaks offer a time of rest and renewal. Some think breaks will get people out of their rhythm, and that may be true for some families; however, for others, breaks will give energy and excitement to stay involved.
Church leaders need to keep the best interests of families in mind when they plan and prepare for ministry engagement and opportunities. Adding a new program that includes hours of planning, money and volunteers that may or may not have good participation may not be the best way to engage and support families.
Churches need to keep the busy lives of families in mind so that church does not become another obligation on the over-scheduled calendar.
Empowering Families through Spiritual Formation is a Lilly Endowment Christian Parenting and Caregiving Initiative through Campbell University. The purpose of the Empowering Families project is to partner with churches, ministers and parents to develop strategies and resources to equip and encourage families to engage in regular, substantive, holistic, family-centered formation.
Sarah Boberg serves as assistant professor of Christian education and director of the Empowering Families Grant at Campbell University Divinity School in Buies Creek, N.C. She earned a bachelor’s degree in religion and a master of divinity degree from Campbell, she earned a Ph.D. in educational studies at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Her dissertation research focused on the call experiences of Baptist women in ministry.
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