By Rob Lee
I visited my dream seminary yesterday. I’ll spare you the specifics of where I want to go, but I have had my application in since Sept. 4, 2014, at 3:30pm, and I won’t find out until sometime in late November or early December. So for the time-being, I’ve been forced into divinity school purgatory and asked to sit with my emotions surrounding the next steps after my undergraduate career. A few thoughts have come to mind.
First, it’s important for anyone playing the waiting game for anything — a job, a graduate school answer, or even something simple in our daily lives — to not let the weight of waiting consume them. Fall is one of the prettiest times of year at my undergraduate institution, so as my mind starts to wander toward what the answer will be from seminaries, I breathe in the cool fresh air and remember that ultimately it’s not up to me. I’m reminded of the passage in the Gospel of Matthew: “Can any of you by worrying add a single hour to your span of life?”
Secondly, it’s best to remember that in the waiting game there are fresh amounts of God’s grace. Even though waiting for an answer to a pressing question can seem like pulling teeth, there’s always grace and love being sowed in the ground of impatience. I can’t help but think of the countless affirmations I’ve received from church members, family, friends and others who have all expressed their confidence in me. Those affirmations carry more weight than what any divinity school could say to me. The hope of a life of faith is that God is going to incredible lengths to show us his love and his mercy.
Finally, I’m reminded of a sermon that Dr. Sam Wells preached at the Duke Divinity School baccalaureate service a few years back. “Maybe you’ll know God’s presence every hour, every breath, every touch. But even if not, know that God is with you and God is for you in every moment of the universe’s existence. You may believe and trust in the living God. But even if not, the living God lives for you.”
Even if not. Even if my path is different from what I have envisioned, even if the seminary of my dreams says no, all will be well. Because that’s how God works.
So the next time you’re facing something daunting or a pressing question that begs an answer, remember that waiting for the answer can be a fruitful time of discernment and know that God is in the waiting. God is working, restoring and renewing — even in that pesky seminary application process — to bring grace to fruition in your life. Are you ready for the answer?