I am embarrassed. I don’t have an excuse. My friends don’t understand what’s wrong with me. I moved from Atlanta to Brooklyn eight years ago. I’m a baseball fan who, inexplicably, hasn’t chosen between the Mets and Yankees.
This is like not knowing who to vote for in the presidential election. Are you kidding? What kind of an idiot is undecided?
Yankee Stadium feels like the Roman Colosseum if the Colosseum was an airport terminal with a baseball field where the planes should be. Or the Parthenon. Or a mall.
Brett Younger
The ghosts of Lou Gehrig, Joe DiMaggio and Mickey Mantle haunt the stadium. Fans say, “How great is it to be in a ballpark next door to the former site of the ballpark where Babe Ruth played!”
The Yankees are good people like Billy Crystal, Jennifer Lopez and George Costanza.
Yankee Stadium has a steak house, but the food for regular fans, like the chicken tenders and fries in a helmet on top of a large soda with the straw going through the middle, is wrong. The most storied franchise in sports history serves bad food.
Citi Field is charming, like the world’s friendliest wiffleball field. The Mets have a silly song and a goofy big apple in center field, but Mr. and Mrs. Met are a perfect couple.
Mr. and Mrs. Met (Photo: MLB)
The Mets are good people like Jon Stewart, Chris Rock and Jerry Seinfeld. Tom Seaver, Darryl Strawberry, and “Marvelous Marv” Throneberry played on what is now the parking lot.
The Yankees have more fans, because people like to win. The differences between the Yankees and Mets are unfair generalizations and unfounded stereotypes I am comfortable repeating. Mets fans love it when the Yankees lose. Yankees fans don’t think about the Mets, because, as Derek Jeter said, “They’re just the Mets.”
Mets and/or Yankees fans will tell you there’s no one more obnoxious than Yankees and/or Mets fans. Yankees fans are thought to be conceited, entitled people who talk about how everything used to be better. Mets fans think of themselves as cool, hip contrarians who stand against the evil empire. They believe Mets fans are different because they have souls.
The Yankees used to throw more money around, but now the Mets are No. 1 ($305 million) and the Yankees No. 2 ($303 million) in payroll, so there’s not a lot of room for anyone to complain. A trip to see the Yankees costs more, but the boxes at both stadiums are filled with rich people.
The Yankees and Mets feel like Godzilla and Bambi. The Yankees cap is a symbol of the city. The Mets cap is a symbol of the Mets. The Yankees have 27 championships. The Mets have two championships. They have only met in the World Series once (Yankees won in 2000).
My love for Yogi Berra is a consideration: “Nobody goes there anymore. It’s too crowded.” “You should always go to other people’s funerals. Otherwise, they won’t come to yours.” “It’s like deja vu all over again.”
Yogi’s 11 years as a Mets coach and manager is confusing to someone who did not grow up around here.
“Who I am? What is wrong with me?”
Who am I? What is wrong with me? If I don’t have a preference soon, I will feel like a fool (or a Red Sox fan, but I repeat myself).
Mayor Eric Adams’ Mets/Yankees hat, an indictable offense, did not help people like me.
I have to pick. I can’t pull for both. Am I the establishment or a subversive? Am I pretentious or insecure?
This year is emblematic. The Mets delighted their fans by winning more than expected and finishing only two games short of the World Series. The Yankees fulfilled expectations and are back in the World Series
I’m old, so maybe I am a Yankees fan, but am I too Southern to cheer for the Yankees? Should I choose history or fun? Entitlement or futility? Majesty or frustration?
Real fans suffer with their terrible teams. Historically, the Mets have offered more opportunities for this. Would I rather expect to win or be surprised to win?
My decision has theological implications. My tortured thinking leads to this question, “Can you imagine God cheering for an empire?”
I know many Yankees fans are better people than I will ever be, but I need to give up on power in favor of reckless hope.
I also need to stop making so much of this. “Let’s go, Mets,” until I change my mind.
Brett Younger serves as senior minister of Plymouth Church in Brooklyn, N.Y.