One of the most famous quotes by the great American-born writer, Henry James, is “Three things in human life are important: the first is to be kind; the second is to be kind; and the third is to be kind.”
I believe that instruction is so important that it is worth repeating over and over and over again.
John Upton
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I know as a child growing up in church, I frequently had drilled into me little memory verses that I repeated almost every Sunday. They were like seeds that our church wanted to make sure were planted deep into our minds and deep into our hearts. Those were: God is love. Be kind one unto another. Love one another.
Those were given to me every Sunday along with some kind of instruction. I think that kindness is the most basic human need that we have. Now, some would say that love is, but, to be quite honest with you, not everybody is loveable and you really can’t love everyone.
I was talking to a woman just recently who had been highly offended by someone. She was angry. She said there was no way that she could love this person.
“I know as a Christian I live under the command to love and I should love them but I cannot do that.” My question to her was, “Can you be kind?” To which she replied, “Well, yes I can do that.”
We are called to be kind. We are called to be civil. We are to refuse harming someone, insulting someone, degrading someone, lying about someone. We are called and under command to not do those things.
Sadly, we live in a time that is toxic. We live in a time when people are unkind and you see it throughout all society. Unfortunately, you even see it in church life. And some of the most unkind people in our society right now are religious leaders. I have witnessed church arguments where we were not at our best. But we must remember that we are called to be kind. We need to start preaching that again. We need to start teaching that again.
Bill Moyer says that we live in a culture of cruelty and this collective unkindness has a way of creeping into us. It has a way of poisoning our spirits and getting into our church. In this culture, incivility is highly contagious.
Don’t hear me say that we aren’t to speak truth. We are to speak truth. Good debate is very, very good. It can be faithful. It can be fruitful. It can be community changing. We are to engage in good debate. But we are to do this with kindness. As God has related to us out of his kindness, let that kindness flow through us to all we encounter.
John Upton (john.upton@ vbmb.org) is executive director of the Baptist General Association of Virginia and the Virginia Baptist Mission Board. He also is president of the Baptist World Alliance.