By Christopher Robertson
Just the other day I made an unexpected friend. We began our conversation with the usual questions – “So, where are you from? What do you do?” We were only two questions in when my new friend found out I was in seminary studying global Christianity. That compelled him to share a story.
His excitement caught me off guard, but I was able to focus in as he told me about a recent neighborhood conflict that he found quite amusing. Apparently, around Halloween, a well-intentioned Christian neighbor of his put religious tracts in the mailboxes of every person in the area with Halloween decorations. The tracts were accompanied by a video that condemned Halloween as the devil’s day. In time, the neighbors figured out who did it, and they were outraged. The Christian who delivered these unwanted gifts thought he was being a friend, but he quickly became his neighbor’s enemy.
As Christians, we like to think we are friendly people, but friends don’t put tracts in friend’s mailboxes. They invite them to dinner. They watch college football together on Saturdays. They share. They serve. They listen.
If we want to communicate the message of Christ to a world searching for meaning, then we have to be friendlier. The reality, however, is that a lot of us aren’t even friends with most of the people in our family. Sadly, the same principle often holds true in the church — and the world is convinced that Christians really aren’t that friendly.
Conservatives have nothing good to say about liberals while liberals insist that conservatives are all ignorant fundamentalists. The church has a thing against homosexuals, and as a result, homosexuals have a thing against the church. Republicans blame Democrats, and Democrats blame Republicans. Things only get worse once you start talking about other religions. This us/them mentality pervades America, and it is cancerous to the Christian church. We are supposed to be uniting people in the name of God. Instead, we often spend our time trying to figure out who is with “us” or “them.”
We fight for those things that identify us, and our fight ends up being against the “other.” We believe they need our Savior, but we have a hard time being their friend. Just like Jesus, we boast that we love everyone while effectively only loving those who think, look and act like us.
Christians need some friends who aren’t like us.
In the Gospel of John, a man named Nicodemus came to Jesus under the cover of night. You see, Nicodemus was a Pharisee and a member of the Sanhedrin, the Jewish ruling council. His friends clearly wouldn’t agree with his befriending Jesus, who was an enemy. This enemy’s interpretation of the Scriptures was heretical. He healed on the Sabbath, and he even had been caught drinking wine with sinners and tax collectors. To top it all off, he called himself the Son of God. Nicodemus’ friends would have probably agreed that the only reason to go see Jesus was to arrest him (and they eventually did).
Nicodemus’ interest in Jesus, however, got the best of him. Despite what his friends thought, he took a chance on Jesus — and met a man who had no enemies.
Jesus fascinated Nicodemus with his talk about the Spirit and re-birth. This first meeting in the night turned an enemy into a friend, and throughout the Gospel of John, we are given a glimpse of how this relationship between Nicodemus and Jesus grows. In John 7, the Jewish leaders are ready to kill Jesus, and Nicodemus, one of their own, suggests taking the time to listen to Jesus first before casting judgment on him. Their response is basically, “What? Are you his friend or something?” At the end of John, we find Nicodemus carrying Jesus’ body to the grave and wrapping it with the 75 pounds of myrrh and other embalming ointments he brought as a gift.
Nicodemus has become friends with a would-be enemy — and has been transformed by their relationship.
Let us be like Jesus and befriend all people, even those who consider us their adversary. Our efforts to avoid the “other” do nothing more than build barriers, which keep people from experiencing Jesus through us.
If we are in a relationship with Christ then others will experience Christ through a relationship with us. There is no need to make them your next convert. Make them your friend.