I have always valued men’s ministry and find it to be a needed asset to the body of Christ, but it wasn’t until my brief contract with Promise Keepers that I began to dig into the heart of what a men’s ministry needs to be and doesn’t need to be.
I love bacon and eggs but am dismayed that’s just about all many churches are offering men once or twice a year at a men’s breakfast or retreat. Christian men need way more than an occasional breakfast to be fed spiritually.
Maina Mwaura
We’re in a crisis in our country when it comes to men’s issues. Especially in how we face the issues that young adult men face. Here is just one example, and I could give you more. When it comes to mass shootings, we already know without asking that the perpetrator most likely will be a man — and more than likely a young adult male between the ages of 15 and 25.
Men are in a spiritual crisis and need more than bacon and eggs. They need more than sitting in a room and listening to speaker after speaker pretending we’re in a football game. This isn’t going to cut it.
Recently, I had the privilege of interviewing author and radio host Brant Hansen on the topic of his new book, The Men We Need. When I accepted the invitation, I honestly thought this would be a tried-and-true interview on how bad men are doing and the need to show up at a rally to hear men yell and scream. Instead, I heard that we need men to show up in meaningful ways.
Inspired by this interview, I believe there are four ways men need to show up. This isn’t a cure-all list, but it is a start.
First, we need men to show up at church. When men show up, it adds flavor and a dynamic Christ wants us to see in the body of Christ. So, yes, please keep having your men’s breakfast meetings. However, at these gatherings try engaging with men on what God is doing along with where they may need for God to show up in their lives.
Brant said: “I want guys to be encouraged and to keep showing up anyway. This is what we’re asked to do is keep engaging with God.” We should want men to engage with God. When men engage with God, they offer their best selves.
Second, do away with the stereotypes we prescribe toward men. Not all men like to hunt or even play football. We live in a diverse culture, and men’s ministry should reflect that. We do a disservice in the body of Christ when we stereotype and expect all men to fit what we think “manhood” should be.
Brant Hansen
Let’s make room for all men to come and feel welcomed. When we accept men for who they are, we throw out the toxic masculinity that is hurting the image of the church. Jesus was able to be a carpenter along with spending time with children, by the way, which means he knew how to build physically and emotionally both.
Third, there should be times when topics are discussed that pertain to men only but there also should be times men learn from women. All my life, I’ve lived in a home where I was the gender minority, which has served me well in understanding that women can teach men things. Far too often, we aren’t seeing women instruct men in our men’s ministry gatherings. We work best in the body of Christ when we are able to hear and learn from others who don’t look like us.
Brant said it best: “Women know how to draw things out of a man; my wife has had a huge shaping, effect on me.”
Finally, men need a deep sense of community and accountability. “I don’t know if we’re aware of the cultural upstream and mess that these guys are swimming in,” Brant said. Only through community and accountability will men be able to navigate what the culture is throwing at them.
Every week I meet with a group of guys who are all unique and different in many different ways. I can’t even begin to tell you what it does for me emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It’s one of the best things I do all week. In a world that is screaming and yelling at men, we need fewer rallies and more men sitting in circles with other men enjoying bacon, and eggs but meeting with a purpose that will hopefully build up better men for the body of Christ and our world.
Maina Mwaura is a freelance writer who lives in Atlanta.
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