Have you heard the latest? Pamela Anderson is divorcing Kid Rock after just four months of marriage.
Did you know that Kevin Federline (aka K-Fed), Britney's estranged husband, is now nicknamed K-Fed-Ex? Isn't that hilarious?
Did you see the tongue-in-cheek headline this week? “Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes still married?” Isn't that a scream?
Have you ever heard the old public speaker's joke about Elizabeth Taylor's comment to her (latest) husband: “Don't worry, dear, I won't keep you long.” Isn't that a hoot?
Or am I not the only one who doesn't find divorce remotely funny or entertaining?
I was traveling when the news of Britney Spears' divorce filing hit the airwaves, so I had more opportunity than usual to watch the news coverage — on airport TVs, in hotel rooms, and in local newspapers. The tabloidization of American culture has never been more painfully obvious. It wasn't just in The Star or Weekly World News. It was everywhere, from CNN and Fox to every local paper.
The tone was frankly celebratory. Beneath every straight-faced “Britney Spears filed for divorce today,” was the subtext “Britney Spears finally got free of her loony husband and declared her independence today.” Or “Britney Spears was looking hot on Letterman today as she re-entered real life after her decision to leave K-Fed.” Or “Britney Spears finally shed her anchor-weight of a husband today and will soon rejuvenate her career.”
The fact that Britney and her husband have two children under the age of 2 was almost completely overlooked. Let's get more specific. The children are named Sean Preston and Jayden James. Sean is 1. Jayden is two months old. They will now spend their childhood years being the pawns in one of the most famous divorce cases of our day.
I guess it's not completely correct to say that the fate of these boys was completely overlooked. One snarky TV talking-head noted that K-Fed had actually left his former girlfriend, Shar Jackson, with one of his children and another on the way when he abandoned her to be with Britney. So now, said this commentator, K-Fed was experiencing a bit of justice. After all, turnabout is fair play. The speaker did not seem too interested in reflecting on the fate of not just two but four celebrity children whose lives will forever be sucked into the maelstrom of celebrity abandonment.
Let me be just a bit categorical here and say this: Anyone who celebrates a divorce has abandoned a biblical worldview. Anyone who treats divorce as an entertaining spectacle has abandoned a biblical worldview. Anyone who overlooks the difficult struggles of children of divorce has abandoned a biblical worldview. Any culture in which such celebration, entertainment and neglect of children's well-being occurs has abandoned a biblical worldview.
In any recognizable Christian perspective, divorce is understood as, at best, a rare, tragic concession to the consequences of human sin. God intended that marriage should be a joyful, faithful, permanent, loving, lifetime covenant between a man and a woman. God also intended that children should be conceived and raised within the security provided by a stable, loving marital bond.
All of us privileged enough to have experienced such a context for childhood understand quite well why the Bible teaches what it does teach about marriage and divorce. So do most of those who did not experience such permanence, love and stability as they were growing up.
Imagine for a moment an alternative media response to the news from Britney and K-Fed. A culture that was deeply marked by the biblical teaching about marriage would respond with thoughtful commentary about the impact divorce has on children. There might be an interview with a specialist in conflict resolution or marital counseling. Other celebrity children who suffered through parental divorce might be brought in to talk about their experiences. Perhaps that rare celebrity couple whose marriage has lasted a long time would be interviewed for some perspective. Perhaps an anchor might even talk to a minister about biblical teaching concerning marriage. The tone of all this coverage would be tinged with sadness at the breakdown of yet another marriage, one of the million a year ending in divorce in our country. And the collective impact of these divorces on over a million children a year would also darken the tone of the media response.
People wonder if we live in a Christian culture. Not hardly. A Christian culture would not treat divorce as a spectator sport, fun for the whole family, a harmless, victimless narrative of personal liberation.
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— David P. Gushee is University Fellow and Graves Professor of Moral Philosophy at Union University in Jackson, Tenn. www.davidgushee.com