I am writing this article specifically for parents raising children in today’s world. As a new church plant, our congregation has been blessed with many children, and our recent parenting class has shown just how much this topic matters to our community.
My perspective is shaped by a dark chapter in my family’s history. In December 1976, my wife, Anna, and I were swept into a nightmare when her two brothers were murdered during a hunting trip. The perpetrators — teenagers themselves — were caught quickly. The trials moved fast, and the individual who committed the murders eventually died in prison in 1995.
Michael Chancellor
Because criminal laws were different then, the murderer was eligible for parole every few years. While incarcerated, he frequently threatened Anna, her sister and the rest of our family, saying, “When I get released, I am coming after the rest of you.” That threat loomed over us for 30 years, requiring us to be extra cautious with our own children until we finally received word of his death.
I remember a specific moment when we lived in Mineral Wells, Texas. I arrived a few minutes late to pick up my oldest son from elementary school. When he got into the car, he said, “Dad, someone tried to pick me up.” After walking through the details, I was convinced he was telling the truth. At the time, our church was working with local youths, some of whom were involved in drugs, which added to my concern.
The next day, I spoke to the principal, but he dismissed my son’s account. Because my son had become friends with the school superintendent, I called his office directly. The superintendent was enraged by the lack of concern and took immediate action. The principal was reprimanded, the school received safety training, and from that day on, a specific teacher was assigned to stand with my son until we arrived.
“While we should not live in fear, we must be wise.”
Children are vulnerable — perhaps now more than ever. While we should not live in fear, we must be wise. Our children move through several “circles” of influence:
- The home: This includes immediate family, stepparents, and siblings
- Extended family: Relatives who may have access to the home
- The community: Friends, neighbors and new acquaintances
- Educational circles: Teachers, coaches and administrators
In a previous article, I mentioned two teachers who were predators using their positions to hunt victims while the district remained unable or unwilling to stop them. We also must acknowledge that homes can become toxic if alcohol or illegal substances are present. Teachers and school nurses often serve as a vital safety net to spot these issues. Therefore, one of the saddest unintended consequences of the COVID-19 school closures was that children were isolated from these protectors and locked away with dangerous family secrets.
We also must look at extracurricular activities. Jerry Sandusky, an assistant coach at Penn State, was convicted of 45 counts of abuse spanning 15 years. Conversely, the band director I mentioned in my last article never was prosecuted and remains free today. Organizations like the Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts also have documented cases of predators within their ranks.
Finally, we must look at the church. Following years of cover-ups within the Southern Baptist Convention, a 2022 Guidepost Solutions report documented more than 700 instances of predatory behavior. The SBC is not alone in this failure, but it is a sobering reminder that even religious institutions can fail to report or even cover up the actions of ministers.
All this is to say: Parents never should abdicate the responsibility of keeping their children safe to someone else. There are organizations that can help, but ultimately parents are responsible to God for the children God has entrusted to them.
Michael Chancellor served 33 years as pastor of four Baptist churches in Texas, six years as a mental health manager in a maximum-security Texas prison before becoming a therapist in private practice in Round Rock, Texas. He now lives in Taylor, Texas.