I want to thank you whole-heartedly for this editorial in the March 8 Religious Herald [“Some things can't be ignored”]. You set the stage well, provided context, addressed difficult issues, offered resources, and provided very helpful and wise biblically-based counsel at the end. Well done.
As a survivor of incest perpetrated by my (Methodist) clergy father, I would like to add another dimension to the issues you addressed, some of the effect(s) of experiencing sexual exploitation by a minister.
Anyone who has been violated sexually as a child is very likely to find it difficult to trust others, often vacillating between not feeling able to trust anyone (even those who are in fact trustworthy) and wanting to trust everyone (appropriate or not). For a survivor of clergy abuse, this difficulty in trusting is compounded because of the spiritual abuse that also occurs. Especially for children, ministers represent God, and damage to a budding faith relationship can last a very long time, if not for eternity.
Many survivors of sexual abuse also find it very difficult to feel comfortable being part of any church or group where there are potential “triggers” of memories. There is also so much denial among many churchgoers about the fact that sexual abuse by clergy (or missionaries) even happens that coming to church during the time one is trying to heal from the abuse can be difficult, if not impossible. At times I have been ridiculed, rejected or shamed because being in church became so difficult. (And yes, thank God, at other times I have been welcomed, heard, blessed and embraced—appropriately—by loving church people).
Once sexual abuse is discovered, families and churches are also greatly stressed by what this means for them and for their faith as well as for the survivors.
Clergy perpetrators betray the trust of every human and God when they use their positions to violate healthy sexual boundaries. So there is damage to everyone and to the mission of the gospel when a predator acts out, but especially if the situation continues or is denied. Yes, we all need to be extremely careful to minimize false accusations and their impact, but we also need to avoid the risk of continuing the abuse if it is happening.
God's power to heal the wounds we bring to him is enormous, but some wounds can and should be prevented from happening within church communities. And when they do happen, God can heal individuals and whole communities and make them stronger, but it takes time, communities working together, openness (not denial) and above all, as you mention, commitment to making the Body of Christ the safe place or sanctuary for all its members.
Again, thank you, and I hope that your editorial will raise awareness and alertness around this topic which is so difficult to bring into the open.
Nancy E. Waldo, Richmond