By Bill Webb
It was one tragic event involving two siblings and two different reactions of grief, spirituality and faith.
Sisters Heather Gilion and Holly Snell recently shared with Baptists in Missouri how the deaths of their husbands in a 2000 canoeing accident changed the direction of their lives — and callings — in radical ways.
They wrote the 2010 book Dancing on my Ashes which recounts the experience.
It was back in 2000 when Holly and her husband, Scott, had opened a Christian camp in Vermont as a means of reaching out to young people. Heather and Holly traveled to Vermont to assist them as camp counselors.
On Aug. 1, Scott Nesbitt and James Brill left to find a daylong canoe course safe enough for teen campers. But they didn’t return for dinner as planned and an all-out search began by the next morning into the nearby woods and along the streams.
Later on Aug. 2, word came that the bodies of the two men had been found. Scott had a gash on his head, prompting authorities to conclude that he had slipped on wet rocks at river’s edge and struck his head. James, they believed, had died trying to rescue Scott.
Both were found floating in the river in life jackets.
When news reached Holly and Heather their husbands had been killed, each reacted in her own way, the women told the Missouri Baptist Foundation Annual Conference last month.
“I ran one direction and Heather ran in another,” Holly said, describing their immediate reactions.
“I was on my knees in the wet grass; I don’t know how long,” she said. “Something supernatural happened in my life; I started proclaiming who he is. I knew God is good. He’s proven it over and over again.”
Heather, on the other hand, said she ran in the opposite direction — literally and spiritually. She recalled the unexpected loss of her and Holly’s father, a Baptist pastor, just eight months earlier. “It rocked my faith.”
The tragic deaths of her husband and brother-in-law, well, that was too much.
“I became so bitter so quickly,” Heather said. “It affected me in every area of my life. I was so mad at God.”
How could two men so dedicated to serving God die this way? Heather shared her anger with God.
“Holly was kneeling in the grass worshiping him, and I was ready to have it out with him,” she said. “I was ready to be done with him…. I said, ‘No, you can’t comfort me.’”
Still, on that hillside, Heather said she could feel God’s attention on her and realized that he loved her. That was her crossroads moment.
“I had to humble myself and say, ‘God, I don’t understand. I may never understand.’”
But she also understood “that he loved me and that he desperately wanted me to know that.”
Her initial reaction gave way to prayer of a more supplicatory nature.
“I prayed, ‘Lord, I need you. And he has been more than enough,” she said. Holly acknowledged God cares for his children in every circumstance. “He sees us in our brokenness and in our victories,” she said.
Both of the women have since remarried.
Holly, the mother of 2-year-old Emma when her husband, Scott, died, said God brought someone into her life and her daughter’s sooner than she had anticipated.
She met Aaron Snell, and less than a year-and-a-half after the fatal accident, she became Heather Snell. They have had two children together, son, Malachi, and daughter, Ava.
Today, Heather Brill is married to Dallas Gilion. She had known him for a couple of years before she realized he had an interest in her.
In late 2004, Jim Brill, her first father-in-law, walked down the aisle and presented her to her new husband. They have two sons, Noah and Zechariah.
Today, Aaron and Holly are planting a church in the Dallas suburb of McKinney, Texas. Dallas and Heather are part of a team that planted LifePoint Church in Ozark, Mo. Dallas serves as an elder.
The release of their book about four years ago has opened up other ministry opportunities for the two women to share their story. They help lead worship at retreats and conferences, and they often are accompanied by their husbands. Aaron plays the piano, and Dallas is a guitarist.
The women believe they are following God’s will for their lives as they tell their story not only through Dancing on My Ashes and speaking engagements but via social media such as Facebook.