Some regional traditions are tough to explain if someone isn’t already familiar. So many of the things folks do in any area are easiest learned when we simply grow into them.
For instance, in many parts of the country horse racing is hardly a thought. But in Louisville, Ky., there is a two-week lead up to the Kentucky Derby that can only be described as a prolonged regional festival. Everyone, it seems, participates in both the activities and the culinary delights at a fevered pitch.
Although the tradition is waning by the decade now, in New York City the approaching winter always brought about the delightful street food that was named in a Christmas carol. That’s right, chestnuts often were roasted right on an open fire.
Charles Qualls
Meanwhile, Delawarians celebrate the unique and highly engineered apparatus that makes possible something called “Punkin Chunk’n.” Annual competitions draw great crowds and feature catapult-like devices hurling pumpkins impossibly far.
In the Deep South, folks commonly would sit up with the deceased. Again, time has all but eliminated this now. People from other parts of the country might not have even known about the rather unique tradition. That is, if not for the recorded routines of a nationally syndicated newspaper columnist-turned-comedian.
His humorous story of a mishap while some people were sitting next to a coffin in Middle Georgia is still retold from his 1980s comedy album. Ostensibly, the purpose of this practice was to keep the dearly beloved accompanied until their earthly remains could be properly buried. It was a way of honoring the life that had been.
Well, that and maybe one other purpose. Keeping an eye on a body might also eliminate any possibility it could be stolen or otherwise relocated. With the prevalence of modern and professional funeral homes, like so many traditions, this one has long since devolved.
So it was that the nearly defunct practice was revived at my favorite store named Bubba-Doo’s recently. Before Winston bought the store, it was owned for a long stretch by a Turkish immigrant named Ahmet.
Ahmet’s family moved here en masse after World War II. They were industrious and spread themselves into various professions. Amiable and willing to adapt, they made quite a place for themselves across our region.
Ahmet and his wife, Elif, later acquired Bubba-Doo’s from its founding family. Everyone held their collective breath back then at the notion that anyone new might own and run the store. Much to their satisfaction, the young Middle Eastern couple did a superb job in their stewardship of the local business. They not only made wise business decisions, they also preserved the very best of its look and feel. Better yet, they minded the store’s social heritage within the community.
People found that as a hangout, the store truly didn’t miss a beat in the transition. Over time, some improvements and progressive changes actually were healthy ones for its future. For instance, they were the ones who expanded the operation to include a restaurant and bar inside.
This was hailed as sheer brilliance. It established them as true visionaries and legitimate innovators. In short, Ahmet and Elif became fixtures within the community in their decades at Bubba-Doo’s.
“Now, an elderly Ahmet had died. His greatest wish was to return to his beloved store one last time before death.”
Years later, Ahmet and Elif sold the store to Winston. They had done well at the business and were ready to retire. They moved to a cottage on the Outer Banks of North Carolina. A few folks from our area kept in touch with and even visited them as they vacationed there.
Now, an elderly Ahmet had died. His greatest wish was to return to his beloved store one last time before death. That didn’t happen. They always intended that he be buried in the city cemetery nearby. Ahmet’s wife eventually came up with the idea of his body actually lying in state, so to speak. Truth be known, the recent death of England’s queen may have sparked the whole deal.
She made her request known to Winston. Although technically he could have demurred, the current owner did some quick calculus of the situation and agreed to allow it. The reality is that resisting the odd request might have been more trouble than it was worth. Besides, Winston genuinely liked Ahmet and Elif.
Now, customers and friends would have a rightful chance to say their good-byes to the man who had said hello in so many ways. What no one much was saying, but so many were thinking, was that it would be a bit odd to have a dead body inside a store even for a relatively few hours.
No doubt, Ahmet’s stamp was still on the place. Memorabilia and family pictures from his days still hung on the walls. Someone had even drawn a Mona Lisa-style portrait of him that people chuckled about. Actually, a tailhook from the plane he had flown in a war still hung over the bar.
“The big plan was for Ahmet to lie in state for one brief night.”
The big plan was for Ahmet to lie in state for one brief night. The casket would be open. He would be there in tribute to his place in Bubba-Doo’s illustrious history. Then, early the next morning his body would make its way to the Findley Brothers Funeral Home in the town nearby.
But how could anyone know that his body would be safe during the overnight stay? This was uncharted territory, all parties admitted. Truth be known, probably nothing would have happened had Ahmet’s casket sat in the store all night alone.
When it came down to it though, everyone agreed on two things. First, they would feel better if someone sat up with him overnight at the store. Second, no one really wanted to be the one who did so.
No doubt there were plenty of well-wishers who could have been arm-twisted into taking a shift. Maybe someone or two would even have been willing to volunteer and stay up all night.
As it turns out, fortune shone on the little community before anyone had to be volun-told to do this somewhat distasteful task. There were two teenage boys at the local high school who were making steady progress toward the rank of Most-Merited Leader in a well-regarded service club.
Very few people achieved this level in the club nationally. The honor was huge, especially for our little community. For generations, individuals who achieved this level had gone on to shining careers in business, politics and academia. To think we had two at the same time was an amazing point of pride.
Trick is, these two both needed one momentous service project. Something that would qualify as a legitimate and certifiable contribution to the well-being of the community. Problem is, in our small towns and communities, we don’t have all that many parks needing new benches.
All the major churches and schools are kept up pretty nicely. No one needed anything new built nor landscaped. Service projects of that magnitude here are hard to come by. That’s when a local community leader named Noah sharpened his thinking pencil and really came through.
With a couple of quick phone calls to the state governing council for the service club, approval was granted for these two 17-year-old boys to sit up all night at Bubba-Doo’s with Ahmet’s body.
This would give the family and funeral organizers the peace of mind they so needed. That act of meritorious service to the community also would be counted, fulfilling their last remaining requirement toward their Most-Merited Leader status.
The big day soon came. Shelley was working the supper shift at the restaurant, and she noticed the crowd was bigger than usual that night. Seems a lot of people were coming by to pay their respects to Elif. Then, they stayed over to enjoy a patty-melt and some stories about the good ole days.
“No one seemed to find a casket right there in the middle of the store, complete with body inside it, to be off-putting.”
Here’s the truly weird thing, as if anything that happens at Bubba-Doo’s really shocks anyone these days. No one seemed to find a casket right there in the middle of the store, complete with body inside it, to be off-putting. They would walk by and look in. Friends and customers would comment on how nice it was to see him. Then, many of them would stop to speak kindly to Elif and give her a hug.
Next, a lot of them would round up a few groceries or come over to the restaurant just like this was any other Friday night of their lives. There they were, with an odd combination of dinner, groceries, bar service and a dead body all in close proximity. If about right now you’re thinking, “only at Bubba-Doo’s,” well then no one could probably argue with you.
On and on the evening continued, and all the plans went off without a hitch. Well, nearly. The real fun started once the place closed.
The two overachieving teenagers showed up, as asked, promptly at 9 p.m. The local funeral director hovered in the standard uniform of worn-out black suit and a tie that dated back to the Hoover administration. Last minute instructions were given, but truthfully they had one basic job: stay inside the building and attend the casket.
Winston added a couple more thoughts, since he was about to lock the door and leave two not-quite-grown young men inside all night with his livelihood at stake. They were to stay out of the kitchen no matter what. If they wanted, they could help themselves to a cold drink or two out of the coolers. Maybe a candy bar.
They were not allowed to invite friends over to sneak in and party. That was a no-no. If someone came by to check at 2 a.m., these two boys were to be the only living humans inside. These were understandable instructions when you think about it.
If it’s been a long time since you tried to spend a night in anyone else’s building, you might not be as tuned in as you could be to what happened next. Hotels and motels don’t count, although to this point in their young lives these boys really hadn’t traveled much either.
The old building grew strangely quiet more suddenly than one might imagine. Until it wasn’t. When you’ve got a cool one laying in a casket, and there’s only supposed to be one other person there with you, every little noise gets scrutinized.
To make matters worse, both boys admitted to each other that they liked to watch the Travel Channel. If you haven’t tuned in that network lately, let’s say there’s very little traveling that gets done. One of the more popular shows these days is Bigfoot Expedition. A team of four quasi-scientists roams dark woods at all hours of the night, followed by a jittery hand-held camera. It’s scary stuff.
But the Cadillac show there these days is called Ghost Adventures. A group of supposed experts also form this cast. They bear an odd resemblance to the Scooby Doo characters, and they traverse America spending nights in spooky bars, haunted hotels and deadly boarded-up hospitals.
Inexplicable things happen consistently on that show. Their night-vision cameras capture all the action, while meters with made-up sounding names show various levels of supposed paranormal activity. One regular on the show named Jay always gets attacked by the spirits. Another named Aaron runs from a room screaming almost every episode. The host, Zak, turns violent when a spirit even brushes by him.
That’s what both of these boys got a kick out of watching for entertainment. Now, that fact would become their worst enemy.
First, the commercial ice machine in the kitchen they weren’t allowed to enter began to sound off. Before any actual ice would drop, the pulsing water line made a knocking sound up under the old wooden floor.
Their eyes cut toward each other at that sound. Still, they held steady. That one scared them for several cycles until they got used to it. Later, a clip in one of the cash register drawers settled into place, since it was spring-loaded. It made a high-pitched thud, and both boys jumped.
The students also found out the hard way that Bubba-Doo’s actually has a small coo-coo clock hanging on a back wall when it went off at midnight. Noises like these surely happen each night. However, no one is there to hear them.
These two upstanding students were now fully off-road, spending this particular night locked inside Bubba-Doo’s. With every snap, crackle and pop of the old empty building, their imaginations ran wild. Into the night, a veritable cacophony of noises serenaded these terrified teens.
They finally got brave enough to get up, walk together over to Ahmet’s casket and peer in. Just to reassure themselves that he was still dead and nothing was really going on. This is what 2 a.m. alone in a store with a body will drive you to do. With arms interlocked, they did exactly that and then promptly returned to their seats.
“Their bravado had abandoned them, right in their hour of greatest need.”
By now, they had not grown any more comfortable in their assignment. If they were rather cavalier about the whole thing when it started, now their teenage cool and indifference were exhausted. Their bravado had abandoned them, right in their hour of greatest need.
However, nothing could have prepared them for what would happen about 3:30 that night. What they had no reason to know was that Ralph had shown a fancy steering wheel cover to Landrum earlier that day. It was a new product and was designed to make your hands feel as though driving a decade-old car is suddenly a luxury experience.
The cardboard insert in the middle of these wheel covers gives them just enough rigidity that they will actually roll if suddenly freed. Like in the middle of a night, for instance. One row over from where they sat, some random vibration was the last movement needed to make one of these steering wheel covers drop from its display. Apparently, Ralph hadn’t put it back quite right.
Gravity did what gravity has been doing ever since creation dawned. The wheel cover picked up momentum as it fell the four feet toward the ground. Having kicked off a store shelf just below, now it also had forward trajectory. The thing landed perfectly upright on its edge.
The landing noise was enough to scare them. But the wheel knocking two more off the rack as it fell made a symphony of scary sounds. Then, it rolled perfectly. Right down the aisle a good 15 or 20 feet. That was more than they could take.
The two boys stood up and ran right into each other headfirst. For some reason, next they took off toward the kitchen but then remembered their instructions. If nothing else, they were rule followers. Then, they spied a side door. It had a panic bar, per code, and was always able to be opened from the inside.
“No one can be sure who pushed the appropriately named bar and opened the door first.”
No one can be sure who pushed the appropriately named bar and opened the door first. But out into the parking lot they spilled, leaving poor Ahmet all alone. Their feet practically spun underneath them in the loose gravel as they ran.
That morning, Winston played a hunch and went to check on the store about 4:30. He saw the open side door as he drove up. Inside, all was well. Ahmet’s body still lay in a dignified state. Winston did scratch his head, wondering why the boys had knocked three brand new steering wheel covers into the floor. Oh, and he wondered where they were.
About 10 minutes later, a sheriff’s deputy pulled up with two exhausted and scared teenage boys in the back of the car. “Winston, I found them wandering down the Water Treatment Cutoff Road. They’re not talking too straight just yet. More like mumbling. One of ’em said something about a body. Then, I heard the other one say ‘Bubba-Doo’s.’”
He asked if the store’s current owner knew anything about this. All Winston could do was smile and nod. The deputy let the two disappointed and shaken boys out of the back of the car. Their parents were called to pick them up.
Life will push any of us into the unknown of who we are. Sometimes, our willingness surpasses our ability. But try we will and with the best of intentions. Along the way, maybe we learn invaluable lessons.
It is healthy to learn we have limits. Maturity isn’t always about overcoming. Sometimes, it’s about reckoning with who we are and who we aren’t. Hopefully, along the way we discover there is a certain amount of grace to life. That kind of thing can even happen at Bubba-Doo’s. It surely might happen in the middle of the night, if you try sittin’ up with the dead.
Charles Qualls serves as pastor of Franklin Baptist Church in Franklin, Va. He is the author of eight books.
Articles in the Bubba-Doo’s series:
Blooming where we’re planted at Bubba-Doo’s
A native daughter returns to Bubba-Doo’s
Concern for our nation at Bubba-Doo’s
A thoughtful question at Bubba-Doo’s
A Bubba-Doo’s regular loses a loved one
An internet celebrity visits Bubba-Doo’s
Bubba-Doo’s: A behind-the-scenes look inside the stories
A dose of clinical grief from Stumpy at Bubba-Doo’s
Intrigue visits a booth at Bubba-Doo’s
A Christmas lesson at Bubba-Doo’s
A chat with Mickey at Bubba-Doo’s about whether I preach the gospel or not