It is now June 2024, and we are four years away from the beginning of the COVID-19 experience in the United States. But the ripple effects of the pandemic are still being felt in church children’s ministries.
Sarah Boberg
As an educator and minister, I suspected the effects of COVID on children would show up for years, even decades after the pandemic. Even now, parents, ministers and churches are becoming more and more familiar with the lasting effects of COVID on children, especially concerning faith formation and church.
While many of us would love to declare the pandemic over and move on, churches cannot ignore the lasting influences, especially related to children in areas of socialization, technology and family choice.
Socialization
One of the pandemic’s major effects was social interference. An article from Mayo Clinic Press states, “There’s no question about it: The COVID-19 pandemic disrupted social interactions for children and teens.” The children of the pandemic experienced two to three years of not just a “new normal” but no real “normal” at all, especially from a social standpoint.
Think of all the different transitions in social life we went through: from stay-at-home mandates, to only socializing outside, to participating in only small gatherings and staying 6-feet apart, just to list a few.
Without a doubt, the years of pandemic social upheaval have had an affect on children’s social skills. Socialization is important for child development, especially in relating to others.
Alisa Bowman writing for Mayo Clinic noted: “When children socialize with family and friends, they learn a wide variety of important life skills, including the ability to:
- Regulate emotions and behaviors
- Understanding how their behavior affects others around them
- Feel connected to others
- Get along with others
- Feel confident about their abilities
- Value the ideas and differences of other people around them
- Take turns
- Take responsibility for their actions.”
“Four years from the beginning of the pandemic, it is evident many children struggle in structured settings, crowds and even one-on-one interactions with people outside their immediate families.”
As an educator, minister and mother, I have seen the lasting effects of the pandemic’s social disruption. Almost all children, even teenagers, who lived through the pandemic have been affected socially. Four years from the beginning of the pandemic, it is evident many children struggle in structured settings, crowds and even one-on-one interactions with people outside their immediate families.
But how is this affecting the church experience?
- Social development delays affect the church classroom. Many church curriculums are written in line with commonly accepted developmental understandings. However, when children exhibit delays in social development (and mental, emotional and spiritual development), lessons may not meet the needs of the children. This also makes teaching harder for the volunteer teachers, as many teachers have been teaching the same ages for years and are used to a certain type of behavior, which may not be what children affected by the pandemic are exhibiting.
- The lack of socialization and participation in “traditional” worship for a long period of time affects how children interact in and with worship. First, as a children’s minister, I must say almost all worship services are planned with adults, not children, in mind, so worship services traditionally have been a struggle for children to fully participate. However, this is even more evident in children since the pandemic. Children and adults worshiped in their PJs and on their couches while eating their breakfast; and now children are expected to sit upright in pews, stand up and sit down at the right times, and not take snack or bathroom breaks. This also makes worship difficult for parents. Even pre-pandemic, parents often were self-conscious when their children acted like children in worship spaces. Parents seem even more self-conscious now, as many churches have simply adopted a pre-pandemic model and all the adults have fallen in line with the unspoken and spoken worship norms, while children are still navigating what in the world worship is when they have spent just as much time worshiping on their couches as in pews. (This long sentence should be read with the real exasperation of a mother with a 5-year-old and an 11-year-old who attends worship each week.)
- Faith community interactions may be more difficult for children post-pandemic. One of the beautiful things about church is the intergenerational and community aspect. However, many children missed out on that piece of faith community as they learned and worshiped with their families, online, and at home. Therefore, “their social skills are out of practice.” Children may be less likely to speak to church people outside of their family and ministry circle. Children may be less likely to give high-fives, fist pumps and hugs. They were told to stay 6 feet away and wash their hands after every touch for years of their development, and now they have been thrown back into the faith community, where very few social boundaries exist.
(Lightstock)
Technology
Another effect of the pandemic was the reliance and embrace of technology. Not only did adults become more reliant on technology, so did children.
Again the Mayo Clinic reports: “During the pandemic, children spent twice as much time online than they did before it.” Adults scrambled to build at-home offices and master online meeting platforms. Children engaged in school online. Also, because many parents were working at home with their children, parents relied on technology to care for and entertain their children more during working hours.
Technology during the pandemic was not just about productivity but also socialization. Technology was embraced by children and parents as entertainment and a window to the outside world.
“Church may seem slow, outdated and irrelevant to children because it functions and looks so different than the rest of their lives.”
So how then is the pandemic engagement with technology affecting the church experience?
- Children and families have embraced technology as a tool for learning and enjoyment. Technology and digital media are an everyday part of life for children and families. However, for many children and families, when they step into their church, there are very few avenues to engage through technology and digital media. This affects engagement and enjoyment. Churches are usually associated with the joys of worship, learning and fellowship. However, when children and families have associated these things with technology it is hard for them to transition to worship, learning and fellowship without technology and digital tools.
- Because technology helps everything move faster and children engage with technology daily, children expect things quickly and lack attention span without the help of technology and/or digital media. This may be another reason children struggle even more post-pandemic to participate in church programs, activities and ministries. Church may seem slow, outdated and irrelevant to children because it functions and looks so different than the rest of their lives. Their lack of engagement may lead to disinterest and/or behavior problems while participating in the faith community.
(Lightstock)
Family priorities and choice
Finally, a profound effect of the pandemic was an encouragement of family choice. During the pandemic, family units had to decide how to live. They created their own boundaries and practices. They were more in charge of their schedules. Families had more flexibility on how to divide, balance and spend their time together.
When the world began to open again, families embraced their ability to choose what they would invest their time in and what they would not.
So how is this choice affecting the church experience?
- Church attendance has declined. Not only has church attendance, usually associated with the Sunday worship service, declined, but from my personal experience, consistency of attendance and participation have declined. I would like to think families are giving themselves more grace when it comes to church attendance because they have embraced choice. Now, church attendance for many families is less tied to legalistic expectations and more tied to their want and availability to attend. However, this does mean children and families are “less involved” in a traditional sense.
- More embrace of personal choice plus less consistent attendance equals less committed and consistent volunteers. Less commitment and consistency means fewer people to sustain church ministries and programs. This means churches must set hard priorities and embrace the idea of choice when it comes to programs and ministries instead of trying to be one-size-fits-all. Changes in family priorities and participation have a major impact on the church system. Old systems, paradigms and structures struggle to embrace families with different priorities and commitments.
Pandemic socialization, technology and choice have had a profound affect on the church, especially for children. Churches must not ignore these lingering effects. Children and families are an integral part of the faith community. Their engagement is important. Therefore, churches must not ignore the lasting effects of the pandemic and seek to respond with grace and intentionality.
Sarah Boberg serves as assistant professor of Christian education and director of the Empowering Families Grant at Campbell University Divinity School in Buies Creek, N.C. She earned a bachelor’s degree in religion and a master of divinity degree from Campbell, she earned a Ph.D. in educational studies at the University of North Carolina at Greensboro. Her dissertation research focused on the call experiences of Baptist women in ministry. She also serves as minister of children at Ox Hill Baptist Church in Chantilly, Va.