During my Ph.D. program, I found myself drowning in the deepest depression of my life — and that’s saying a lot. In college, a misunderstanding with a professor had prompted me to raise my dorm window and think very seriously…
Not So Sorry explores the question: Should victims always forgive their abusers?
Dietrich Bonhoeffer railed against cheap grace that’s given “without asking questions or fixing limits.” Kaya Oakes targets “quick forgiveness,” a form of spiritual abuse practiced by powerful, charismatic and sexually predatory Christian leaders who pressure victims to quickly forgive, forget,…
The cleansing of our temples and our forgiveness of church
This coming Holy Week, Christians remember Jesus’ “cleansing of the temple” in Jerusalem. He was setting his opposition to the temple priesthood and their collusion with Rome to sustain an unjust social order that oppressed the weak and poor. As…
Dirty forgiveness
For Lent this year, I’m trying forgiveness. Forgiveness of others. I’m trying to say it every day: “I forgive you,” as I picture someone who has harmed me, someone against whom I have hatred. Now, I know we’re not supposed…
The six most important words for healthy relationships
“What are the three most important words in a relationship?” In premarital counseling sessions, it’s usually the bride who answers — grinning coyly and speaking demurely as she answers. Sometimes both the bride and groom answer simultaneously. I once posed…
Jesus and Buddha are talking with me about loving and blessing my enemies
I seem to have a larger list of enemies these days, those I find it harder to love and bless. But Jesus is insistent about how we relate to our enemies: “You have heard it was said ‘You shall love…
‘What can we forgive?’: An interview with Matthew Ichihashi Potts on Forgiveness
I’ve been diving deep on forgiveness lately. A few weeks back, my friend Ralph Douglas West and I led a Janterm retreat for Truett Seminary students and pastors where we read works including Anne Lamott’s Traveling Mercies (home to the…
The apology that never came at Bubba-Doo’s
Pastors often find themselves serving well beyond their congregations. Some are cynical about this. For this reason or that, they think serving the community at large is beneath them. But most of us find it meaningful when people who aren’t…
Tim Keller wants us to talk about forgiveness
Tim Keller wants to help forgiveness have a good reputation once again. “There’s a problem with forgiveness in our culture right now,” he said in a recent interview. “That wasn’t true 20 years ago. I think most people would say,…