It’s hard for to say the words “Blue Christmas” without hearing the late Elvis Presley’s rich baritone voice. Elvis isn’t credited with starting the liturgical trend with his 1957 hit song, but “Blue Christmas” services have increased significantly among United…
God (suffers) with us
As we laid Phyllis, my paternal grandmother, to rest Dec. 11, 2019, I looked around and saw my family trying to piece themselves together. It was an intense funeral, the kind that comes after an unexpected loss; the kind where…
My last visit to a Southern Baptist church
My first visit to a Southern Baptist church occurred in 1971, when I was 15 years old. My family had just moved from Alamogordo, N.M., to my parent’s hometown of Muskogee, Okla. On my first Sunday in town, my aunt,…
If you’re uncertain how to approach Israel and Gaza, start with grief
I’ve known churches that have been on the frontlines of every concern of justice, congregations in which you could well assume nearly everyone is voting for the same candidate at the top of the ticket, churches in which no controversial…
Now I know my grandmother was a person, not just an event
Note: This article includes graphic descriptions of suicide. In my life, she wasn’t a person. She was an event. My mother’s mother ended her own life with a shotgun blow to the head. It’s a conversation stopper if there ever…
Luke Russert looks for his father and finds himself
For years, the name Tim Russert was synonymous with thoughtful political commentary. When the Meet the Press anchor died suddenly of a heart attack in June 2008 — just before Father’s Day — viewers on both sides of the political…
Honest conversations about grief: Navigating the journey of loss
Grief is an inevitable part of the human experience, an emotional upheaval that comes hand in hand with loss. Whether it be the passing of a loved one, the end of a cherished relationship or even the loss of a…
Meet Denise the heaven receptionist
“Hi thanks for waiting. Welcome to heaven. What would you like your ghost outfit to be?” Not the greeting most of us expect to receive in the afterlife; but this is not St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. No, this…
School shootings: How can we respond to children, parents, teachers and others affected?
With the recent incidents of school shootings around the country, we may be asking how we can respond. These breaks in our sense of security bring up many feelings, questions and worries. They can make us feel sick as we think…
‘Grief brain’: The three big deficits of grief
Grief is relentless. The only way to get through grief is to grieve. The only way to get through the pain is to feel and process the pain. One of the best ways to manage the stress and anxiety that…
Perhaps your grief will not ‘ruin’ Christmas
We often perceive the holidays as a time of togetherness and joy, where we reunite with families and enjoy the presence of each other. However, what we do not talk about is the grief that often coincides with the Christmas…
Counting your blessings instead of sheep
“Have you not heard anything I’ve said in the last four weeks!? Just what do I have to be grateful about?” The elderly widower in my grief group was incensed that the fourth session was focused on gratitude. The topic…