The months preceding Pullen Memorial Baptist Church’s historic vote to perform same-sex blessings and to officially become a welcoming and affirming congregation were, at times, dark and turbulent ones, former Pullen pastor Mahan Siler recalled during the congregation’s 30-year celebration of its February 1992 action.
“In 1992, there were some other clergy I knew who performed same-gender unions or services, but there wasn’t a congregation we knew out there who we could learn from, who we could take on discerning whether to add this ritual of blessing to their ministry. So, it was lonely. We were alone,” Siler preached during the Raleigh, N.C., congregation’s Sunday morning worship Feb. 27.
Mahan Siler at Pullen
It was on that date three decades earlier that the historically progressive congregation took its ground-breaking and controversial vote — by a two-thirds margin — to approve same-gender blessings. The first same-gender blessing in Pullen’s sanctuary was performed for two men by Siler on March 15 that year.
Siler said he knew of no other churches to take such an action at the time, and current Pastor Nancy Petty said she believes Pullen was the first Baptist church to do so. The congregation’s current affiliations include the Alliance of Baptists, the Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists and the Baptist Peace Fellowship of North America.
In 1985, Dolores Street Baptist Church in San Francisco was expelled from its local Baptist association for welcoming gay and lesbian members. The West Coast church was expelled from the Southern Baptist Convention three years later. That church closed in 2009, and it is not clear when the first same-sex marriage was performed there.
Regardless, getting to the point where the blessing of same-sex unions could occur was a rocky road for Siler and Pullen Memorial, who were vilified by religious conservatives through media, picket lines and eventually by ejection from the church’s regional and state associations and by the Southern Baptist Convention itself.
There were internal challenges to contend with, as well, Siler said. “Some members would gasp at the word ‘homosexual’ then.”
Yet, true to form for Pullen, many set aside their misgivings to embark on a deacon- and lay-led study process to explore how and why the historically progressive Baptist congregation should become radically inclusive of gays and lesbians at a time when so few, if any, did.
Drawing regional and national ire is nothing new for Pullen, which lent a leading, liberal voice in support of the Civil Rights movement and against the Vietnam War and nuclear arms.
“Many of them got up and started studying and reading and going to these discussion groups in the midst of a firestorm of reactivity around us in this city, and around the nation,” Siler said. “It’s an amazing story.”
Drawing regional and national ire is nothing new for Pullen, which lent a leading, liberal voice in support of the Civil Rights movement and against the Vietnam War and nuclear arms.
The church began to venture into the controversial topic of homosexuality during the AIDS epidemic of the mid-1980s. As Pullen’s pastor at the time, Siler preached and spoke publicly that he believed AIDS was not God’s judgment on gays and lesbians — contrary to the message being preached by conservative televangelists.
“Those sermons began a conversation in the Pullen church about faith, church and homosexuality,” Petty said during the Feb. 27 celebration.
Pay Levi, Pat Long, Mahan Siler
But the rhetoric got much more intense in September 1991 when two men arrived at Pullen and asked Siler to bless their committed relationship. He took the request to the deacons, who then held information sessions, including in members’ homes and in Sunday school settings, to answer questions and address concerns.
“Many intense conversations were had not only in Pullen church but also in the Raleigh community and in faith communities all across the nation,” Petty said.
As Pullen’s internal process gained public attention, the church and its members were subject to intense criticism from family, friends and coworkers.
Pullen kids “were being teased at school,” recalled Pat Long, one of the lay leaders in the process. “We were on trial by letter to the editor in the (Raleigh) News & Observer and the Biblical Recorder. Some supported our right to discuss it, and others blasted us from here to hell for even considering it.”
Long was one of the organizers of the information sessions after having come out as a lesbian to church leadership.
The firestorm created a major distraction from ministry, Siler said during the panel discussion. “It was hard to stay focused because people were getting slammed out in their worlds. … I was scared in midst of it and overwhelmed. We had no idea we would get the reaction in the community and around the nation.”
“I was scared in midst of it and overwhelmed. We had no idea we would get the reaction in the community and around the nation.”
Panelist Jim Powell, who was chair of deacons during the controversy, said he, Siler and others got an equally rude reception during the Baptist association hearing called to disfellowship Pullen.
“We had three minutes to defend ourselves, and we got booed down,” Powell said.
There was grieving ahead for Pullen during the process and after the affirmative vote, Siler preached, as the church lost 20% of its members as a result. “The most painful part were people leaving this church. People that had been members here a long time. Some had brought their children up in this church.”
Siler cautioned those attending the anniversary celebration from being overly proud of the congregation’s process and decision.
“It was messy, and people got hurt, and we hurt people. It was a great process but not a perfect process. And it was being done in this outrage in the city at that time.”
Conservatives then ascending to power in the SBC also piled on, pointing to Pullen as an example of what liberal churches are all about, he added. “So, lets walk with God through this humbly.”
Siler also noted that there was an issue larger than whether or not to provide blessing rituals for same-gender couples. “We were engaging the question about how we are to be in relationship with people who are made various ways, sexually. That was the question.”
But the way the congregation engaged the process, and hearing from parents who said they want to raise their children in a welcoming and affirming church, was encouraging, he said.
“I wonder for those of us who were there then, as you reflect on it, was God a part of this movement? Was the Spirit somehow connected with this process? And where was Jesus in it? I can’t answer those questions this morning. I can’t answer those questions any morning. We’re talking about a mystery, something we can’t see, but it is real. … This is a congregational story of courage and love and and risk-taking and cost.”
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