When Graham and Alyssa asked me to perform the ceremony, I took it as a compliment, even though it also was a cost-cutting decision. They probably thought I would use my 10 minutes to talk about love. Ministers love talking…
The truth about lying
Somebody is lying. Researchers at the University of Wisconsin examined 116,366 lies told by 632 participants over 91 days. Participants self-reported their lies, which raises the question, “Wouldn’t liars lie about lying?” Maybe that’s why the statistics around lying are…
The joy of (preaching about) sex
Liberal ministers in New York do not preach on adultery — unless they start a series on the Ten Commandments without thinking ahead. I did not think ahead. Preachers find it awkward to preach about infidelity, because the church often…
‘Bless your heart; you don’t get worship’
Here is a helpful phrase for ministers to think, but not say, “Bless your heart; you don’t get worship.” For instance, when someone says, “I’m making the announcement about the party. I’m using ventriloquist puppets.” A kind minister thinks, “Bless…
An honest job description for a children’s minister
God loves the senior ministers whose portraits are on the wall in the church parlor, but God knows the real saints are the ones who care for children. For almost 20 years, Julia Rassmann has been a big fun, big…
Would it make Jesus puke?
New Yorkers go to some attractions only once and then feel the need to make up excuses: “We went to the Empire State Building because my cousin from Iowa wanted to see it.” “I bought cupcakes at the Magnolia Bakery…
My Old Kentucky Prayer
The world is always falling apart. The sun stops shining. The sky goes dark. The war in Israel is overwhelming. The divisions in our country are painful. Poverty and prejudice surround us. After a recent Gallup Poll, the headline was,…
Can we be friends like Butch and Sundance?
In his memoir, The Extraordinary Life of an Ordinary Man, Paul Newman writes, “I wonder what my old age is going to be like, because I really don’t have many friends. It’s hard to feel lonely in New York, but…
Bruce Springsteen is a fraud, and so are we
Bruce Springsteen confesses: “I made it all up. … I’ve never held an honest job in my entire life. I’ve never done any hard labor. I’ve never worked nine to five. … I come from a boardwalk town that is…