Dear Jimmy,
I hope you're asittin' down 'cause you just won't believe what I'm afixin' to tell ya. Wonder of wonders, Uncle Orley actually took me to the movie house in town to see a picture show. If memory serves, and in this case I'm certain it does, this is the first one we've seen in a movie house since Sound of Music. Oh, we see movies on television sometimes. And your cousins went together for Christmas and got us a newfangled machine that plays movies on tape and one of them silvery disks. It sat in the box for months and I knew we had entered the 21st century when Uncle Orley finally got it out and plugged it in. The kids also got us a movie to watch. We plugged it in and snuggled up together on the sofa kinda like we were teenagers and Orley hit the remote. The next thing I knew Orley woke me up with his snorin'.
The only thing about the movie-watchin' machine that we didn't like was that it kept flashin' a time. It wouldn't a been too bad if it had been the right time, though I'm convinced that the constant flashin' would eventually cause a person to lose his grip on reason. My grip ain't too firm to start with. Well, Orley finally fixed it with some black electrical tape. It's still flashin' the wrong time I guess, but now it don't bother us none. Well, this isn't what I was intendin' to write, so I'd best get to the subject.
With all the talk about this Da Vinci Code business we figured we'd better find out for ourselves what all the fuss was about.
Your Uncle said on the way home from church last Wednesday night, “Ya know, since we read the book, maybe we should see the picture, too.” Now, when he says “we read the book” what he really means is I read the book and told him about it. Anyhow, I wasn't surprised much by the movie, but I nearly had a fit of the vapors when I saw the cost of popcorn! Why, we could grow acres of popcorn if the government didn't pay us not to. I wonder where they're buying their corn that it costs so much. I've been awonderin' if maybe we ought to go into the popcorn business and supply movie houses. Well, as usual, I've gotten myself sidetracked.
What I really wanted to tell you is I don't see where that movie is gonna do much harm. After all I don't expect most folks think that what comes out of Hollywood is gospel. I think it helped, though, that they didn't start the movie by sayin' that everything they were gonna say about religion is the truth like they did in the book.
I noticed, too, that Tom Hanks argued more with the history feller than the character did in the book. I think that musta been the influence of Opie. I just couldn't figure how a boy who went fishin' with Andy Griffith could grow up to make a movie picture that would tell awful stories about the Bible and the church. It just didn't make no sense to me.
I noticed a couple a times Tom Hanks would tell that other feller that what he was saying was just theory. I think it musta been Opie that put those words in the script and Tom Hanks he said ‘em real convincin' like.
As far as the story goes, it finally got to be about as dramatic as watchin' a sparrow dark and dive to keep out of the clutches of a chicken hawk. But, I kept wantin' to nod off until it got good. In that respect, I guess it ain't too much different than a lot of sermons I've heard. In fact, I heard a preacher once that I'm sure his sermons did more harm to the church than this movie is gonna do. The same can be said for a lot of Christians I know. The best thing they could do for the kingdom is to keep quiet about it 'cause they are not the kind of advertisin' Jesus would want, I'm sure of it.
When it comes right down to it, people who are lookin' for truth are lookin' for people whose walk matches their talk. The preacher calls it “authenticity.” I just call it bein' a genuine Christian. People around here don't know Dan Brown. But, they do know me. If my life doesn't convince them of the truthfulness of the gospel it ain't because of something they read in a novel.
The thing that's got me all riled up is the girl in the show. Orley keeps talkin' about how pretty that girl was. If you ask me, she's so skinny she could squeeze between the boards of our barn. She needs some country cookin', I say. She needs some biscuits and gravy. Or maybe loads of popcorn with lots of hand-churned butter. Yes, that's it. Of course, she'd have to get it from us. She couldn't afford to buy it from a movie house.
Come see us while Orley still has his hair. I'm gonna snatch him bald if he doesn't quit talkin' about how pretty that girl was.
As always, we send our love,
Aunt Ida