As Pewboy drove home from Roanoke where he had attended the annual meeting of the Baptist General Association of Virginia his stomach was in knots. Noting his apprehension, his confidante, spiritual advisor and sounding board, Altarego, materialized in the passenger's seat.
Pewboy: Ah, there you are. I was hoping you'd show up. I need to bounce some things off you. I've been thinking about some things Tony Campolo said.
Altarego: I thought that might be the source of your troubled expression. What's going on inside that head and heart of yours?
Jim White
Pewboy: Conflict. That's what. On the one hand, I'm just mad. There's just no other way to put it. I didn't want to go to the BGAV annual meeting and hear about gays. I know I can be honest with you, so here goes: I just get sick of hearing about gay, lesbian and transgender stuff. I mean, turn on the TV and you can't miss it. It's in the movies and on talk shows and in the papers. Every where you look, there it is. I feel like it is being crammed down our throats. I don't want to have to hear about it when I come to church or to the annual meeting of the BGAV! It just makes me mad.
Altarego: OK. I can certainly understand that. You mentioned, “On the one hand …” I'm guessing there must be an, “On the other hand …” coming. What is it?
Pewboy: Right. Well, on the other hand, I've been thinking that if something is talked about that much — so much that we can't escape it — that maybe the church and the BGAV would be irresponsible not to address it.
Altarego: I see your point. Especially since the theme of the meeting was “Who is my neighbor?” To not talk about it is rather like ignoring the elephant in the living room, isn't it?
Pewboy: You know, when he talked about the poor, I was right with him. After all, in Matthew 25 when the one condemned asked Jesus why, Jesus said it was because he did not clothe the naked and feed the hungry and those other things. But when he started talking about gays, I just got mad.
Altarego: Did you think he affirmed the homosexual lifestyle? Is that what caused you to become angry?
Pewboy: No. In fact, he was very clear in saying he disagreed with it. He said, “I believe that same gender erotic behavior is contrary to the teaching of God.”
Altarego: Gee. That's pretty clear. Surely that didn't make you mad.
Pewboy: Of course not. I was kind of surprised to hear him say it, to be truthful. I've heard so many negative things about him I guess I was expecting him to say it's OK or something.
Altarego: So his position on that is the same as yours. What are you upset about, then?
Pewboy: Well, he said he thought passing Proposition 8 in California was a mistake. You know, the one that defined marriage as between a man and a woman?
Altarego: I'm familiar with it. Did he give any reasons for thinking it was a mistake?
Pewboy: Yeah. He said that now we would have “thousands of gays and lesbians parading up and down the streets of San Francisco and New York and L.A. screaming against the church, seeing the church as enemy.” But, they already think the church is against them, so I can't see that it will change much.
Altarego: Do you think gays believe the church thinks of them as neighbors?
Pewboy: Hmm. No, I guess not.
Altarego If they regard the church as the enemy, do you think they will listen when you share the love of Jesus with them?
Pewboy: It would make it hard, I guess. I have to be honest. He did say, “I don't know how we're going to reach these brothers and sisters, but I'm an evangelical and I'm going to win them to Christ …. And we're not going to win them to Christ if we keep sending them bad messages.” But if I love them as neighbors, won't they think I'm saying there isn't anything wrong with their lifestyle?
Altarego: Isn't that the point of Jesus' parable?It was the Samaritan who was the neighbor. He was not affirming the attitudes and actions of the Jews toward the Samaritans. Wasn't Jesus saying that we need to regard as neighbors those groups of people we don't typically value? Do you think the question was asked at the BGAV to get people mad or to help them think beyond those we have no trouble being neighborly toward?
Pewboy: But I just don't want to think neighborly toward some people. (Pause) I realize how that sounds, but this is hard. Besides that, there's more. Dr. Campolo said his wife is more accepting of gays than he is. It sounded like she doesn't see anything wrong with being gay.
Altarego: I see. Did she speak at the BGAV? Did Campolo say he agreed with his wife? Is it permissible for a wife to have a different opinion from her husband?
Pewboy: Now I'm getting irritated with you. No, she didn't speak. Yes, he said he and his wife had different convictions about it, and, of course wives and husbands must be free to disagree. But I still don't like it.
Altarego: No wonder the disciples said to Jesus on occasion, “These are hard sayings.” He caused them to think rather than just accept what everybody else was saying.
Pewboy: Well, this whole thing could have been avoided if the BGAV would have just invited somebody else to come and preach sermons we could all say “Amen!” to. Why would they invite somebody who would come and get under the skin of some folks? Why wouldn't they consider our opinions more? I think they should be more compassionate with those of us who disagree. After all, we're their neighbors, too.
Altarego: Pewboy, maybe you have put your finger on a very important point. Maybe those who invited Campolo to speak don't regard you as neighbors. I rather believe they think of you as brothers rather than as mere neighbors. And the thing about brothers is they might disagree and they might have different opinions even. But they're still brothers.
Pewboy: Hmm. That's true. I still have some strong feelings about this topic, but at least I can be honest enough now to admit that although I didn't like it, he didn't say anything that I can say was not biblical. And I guess that should settle it. It's not easy being a Christian, is it?