Let’s analyze a political celebrity’s claim about God.
For comparison: In summer 1986, while I was on a Christian college mission trip to the Philippines, my parents and my younger sisters were taking a very out-of-the-way route to Myrtle Beach, S.C. In Middle-of-Nowhere, N.C., they went in a restaurant and ran into the family of one of my 11-year-old sister’s best friends who were headed back from Myrtle Beach in their own round-about way.
My parents asked the friend’s parents if their daughter could go back to the beach. The middle schooler said, “Dad! You have to let me. Us meeting them here was the hand of God!”
Brad Bull
Now let’s take a hop from the theology of a middle schooler in the 1980s to an adult political operative in 2025. In the June 14 edition of The Atlantic, Graham Parsons penned a story titled “The Shame of Trump’s Parade.”
Parsons reported: “Monica Crowley, the State Department’s chief of protocol and a former Fox News host, went on Steve Bannon’s podcast ‘WarRoom’ to say that the concurrence of the U.S. Army’s anniversary and Trump’s birthday is ‘providential.’ She called it ‘meant to be. Hand of God, for sure.’”
Say what you will about the merits of the parade. Let’s break down the nitty-gritty required for it to be true that God’s hand directed Donald Trump’s birthday to fall on the 250th birthday of the Army.
- About 79 years and nine months before that date, God’s hand directed Donald Trump’s parents to engage in copulatory behavior.
- God’s hand swimmingly directed sperm to egg.
- God’s hand ordained the subsequent length of gestation. Then, just as God’s hand had guided Mary Anne MacLeod Trump to immigrate to the U.S. from Scotland in 1930 so that her eventual son would be born a U.S. citizen, God’s hand now directed Donald Trump’s emigration from womb to world on the appointed date of June 14, 1946.
- Years later, realizing that for Donald Trump to be president in 2025 so that his birthday coincided with the 250th anniversary of the formation of the U.S Army, and since there was the pesky two-term limit for U.S. presidents, he had to lose the 2020 election. So, God’s hand guided Democrats and the Deep State to steal the election, and they obeyed God’s call.
“Hallelujah! Hallelujah! For the lord God omnipotent reigneth!”
“Brazenly spewing stupid mouth-manure makes Christians and their faith look stupid.”
Do you find all that offensive? Good. If we can be offended by an abusive use of mindless God talk, there is a seed of hope we can be offended by abuse of God’s children and creation.
It matters that we check our theology and subsequent comments for multiple reasons. Do we have to be perfect? No. The very nature of God as mysterious means we always have an incomplete picture. But brazenly spewing stupid mouth-manure makes Christians and their faith look stupid.
Besides it being poor stewardship of our personal intellect, it’s a poor public witness of the gospel. As hard as it is for many Christians to believe, God created everyone with brains, and non-Christians actually think about what Christians say.
Granted, determinism — the issue of just how specifically God directs events — has been the subject of intellectually-informed conversations. It divides the church between deterministic Calvinists and people who choose to be Arminians of their own free will. However, some strands of determinism are limited to very broad strokes regarding not specific events but ultimate ends.
For instance, I once heard theology professor Frank Tupper say something like, “What if God isn’t a puppet master pulling our strings? What if God is a chess master who adjusts the board to our moves to assure ultimate victory?”
That sounds like grace. It’s also an honest question rather than unreflective blather. Taking a few moments to ask some questions of our thoughts might prevent us from making middle-school level claims.
For instance: “What does it imply had to happen if I assert God’s hand guided gender-fluid pop singer Boy George to be born on the same day as Donald Trump and the U.S. Army so that I could make this final point?”
Brad Bull has served as a hospital chaplain, pastor and professor of psychology, counseling, and liberal arts. He currently works as a private-practice therapist in Tennessee and Virginia. A former collegiate speech team state-champion, he’s a storyteller at dinner tables, lecterns and stages. His counseling, speaking and retreat leadership services may be found at DrBradBull.com.