Baptist News Global
Sections
  • News
  • Analysis
  • Opinion
  • Curated
  • Storytelling
    • Faith & Justice >
      • Charleston: Metanoia with Bill Stanfield
      • Charlotte: QC Family Tree with Greg and Helms Jarrell
      • Little Rock: Judge Wendell Griffen
      • North Carolina: Conetoe
    • Welcoming the Stranger >
      • Lost Boys of Sudan: St. John’s Baptist Charlotte
      • Awakening to Immigrant Justice: Myers Park Baptist Church
      • Hospitality on the corner: Gaston Christian Center
    • Signature Ministries >
      • Jake Hall: Gospel Gothic, Music and Radio
    • Singing Our Faith >
      • Hymns for a Lifetime: Ken Wilson and Knollwood Baptist Church
      • Norfolk Street Choir
    • Resilient Rural America >
      • Alabama: Perry County
      • Texas: Hidalgo County
      • Arkansas Delta
      • Southeast Kentucky
  • More
    • Contact
    • About
    • Donate
    • Planned Giving
    • Letters to the Editor
    • Advertising
    • Ministry Jobs and More
    • Transitions
    • Subscribe
    • Submissions and Permissions
Donate Subscribe
Search Search this site

How a résumé-driven mentality is crippling our culture

OpinionAileen Lawrimore  |  April 25, 2016

I come from a long line of folks who cannot abide The Big Head. I don’t know if this malady is well known north of the Mason-Dixon Line, but down here in the South, everybody knows about The Big Head. It’s the noun form of the adjective phrase “full of him/herself.” For example, you might hear it used like this: “She is so full of herself; that girl has really got The Big Head!”

My father, a first generation college graduate who finished his master’s degree in 1963 and his doctorate in 1979, has every right to have a touch of The Big Head. But he has always said to me and my siblings what may well have been said to him: “When you get so smart you think you’re better than somebody else, it’s about time you go right on back to school.” And my mother — listen, she could puncture a bloating Big Head with just a look.

Naturally then, when my kids were old enough to get the message, I’d say, “Children, I’d rather you be dumb as a rock than get The Big Head.” Self-confidence is one thing. But being so full of yourself as to have The Big Head? Unacceptable. Thus, it has always been my goal to raise kids with both self-esteem and humility.

Then came Facebook. And I, like every other parent in this millennium, set about posting pictures and status updates about my children. “So proud of my son for winning this award!” “Proud Parent! My daughter received that recognition!” “Off to All-State! Proud of this girl!”

But there’s nothing wrong with being proud of our children, right? I mean, it’s not like I was going on about my own accomplishments. I was simply reporting, sharing, keeping people in the loop as it were.

My children (who had apparently been paying just a little too much attention in their early days) saw it a little differently. After every significant achievement, they’d warn me. “Now, Mom, don’t put this on Facebook. It feels like you’re bragging.”

The nerve! The ingratitude! The … truth.

I started thinking about this business of parental pride, publicized so widely through social media. According to dictionary.com, the definition of “pride” is “a high … opinion of one’s own dignity, importance, merit, or superiority, whether as cherished in the mind or as displayed ….” Yikes. When I boasted about my children’s achievements, was I really patting myself on the back for the superiority of my parenting? (Conviction. It’s so intrusive!)

The other nagging question I had, though, was this: When my children experienced victory, was it really “pride” that I was feeling? I thought back to the times I’ve been really proud of my children. They were times that didn’t look like success at all. Like when they tried their best, failed, then got up and tried again. Times when they lost, but handled it with grace. When they acted justly, delighted in mercy, and walked humbly with God. Those were moments I “cherished in my [mind].” When they win, I’m happy for them, of course; I’m glad things went well. Those are cheerful, photograph-taking moments for sure. But pride? The times I’m proudest of my kids, I’m too grateful to Snapchat or Instagram; I’m too wrapped up in thanksgiving to update my status.

In a video that has received nearly two million hits on ted.com, New York Times columnist David Brooks speaks about the difference between resume virtues and eulogy virtues. Quoting The Lonely Man of Faith by Rabbi Joseph B. Soloveitchik (1903-1993), Brooks describes Soloveitchik’s theory of the two Adams. Soloveitchik suggests that within each of us are two Adams: Adam 1 who values external, worldy success, or résumé virtues; and Adam 2 who values integrity and strength of character, or eulogy virtues. Brooks contends that the United States values Adam 1 over Adam 2 and that this résumé-driven mentality is crippling our culture.

I’d agree. And, as a product of this culture, I wrestle with this exact internal conflict that Brooks and Soloveitchik describe so eloquently. So what’s a Baptist to do? Well, I’m not sure. But I think part of the answer is found in the Apostle Paul’s letter to the Philippians: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (2:3-4).

Sounds to me like a pretty good way to avoid The Big Head, don’t you think?


OPINION: Views expressed in Baptist News Global columns and commentaries are solely those of the authors.
Tags:The Lonely Man of FaithRabbi Joseph B. SoloveitchikparentingPhilippians 2:3-4New York TimesFacebookMillennialsAileen LawrimorePrideNarcissismself-esteemDavid BrooksThe Big Headself-confidenceTed.comresume virtueseulogy virtues
More by
Aileen Lawrimore
  • Get BNG headlines in your inbox

  • Featured

    • The French Dreyfus Affair and Trump’s Big Lie

      Opinion

    • Finding inspiration from Fannie Lou Hamer when freedom is under assault

      Opinion

    • Christian nationalism links gun rights and ‘Christian nation’ ideals in dangerous mix, Tyler and Hollman say

      News

    • Why men should be concerned about the abortion ruling

      Opinion


    Curated

    • At LA’s DisclosureFest, a milieu of New Age mysticism, capitalism and conspiracy talk

      At LA’s DisclosureFest, a milieu of New Age mysticism, capitalism and conspiracy talk

      June 27, 2022
    • Worshippers at Baptist church in Nigeria abducted

      Worshippers at Baptist church in Nigeria abducted

      June 27, 2022
    • Biden administration proposes protections for transgender students and against sexual violence in schools

      Biden administration proposes protections for transgender students and against sexual violence in schools

      June 27, 2022
    • Columbia Theological Seminary students object to firing of Black administrator

      Columbia Theological Seminary students object to firing of Black administrator

      June 27, 2022
    Read Next:

    Two viruses threaten the life of the Southern Baptist Convention: Male hierarchy and dominion theology

    AnalysisEllis Orozco

    More Articles

    • All
    • News
    • Opinion
    • Curated
    • Daniel Vestal writes of the changing chapters of life and faith

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Christianity: Where the end justifies the means

      OpinionPhillip Thomas

    • Supreme Court once again hands conservative evangelicals a win for free expression over state establishment of religion

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Catholic bishops drop opposition to lesbian becoming a foster parent

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Why men should be concerned about the abortion ruling

      OpinionDarrell Hamilton II

    • Christian nationalism links gun rights and ‘Christian nation’ ideals in dangerous mix, Tyler and Hollman say

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Why I’m a pro-choice pastor: I’ve listened to the stories of too many women

      OpinionBob Browning

    • Who’ll bring the sackcloth and ashes to CBF General Assembly this week?

      OpinionMolly Brummett Wudel

    • Finding inspiration from Fannie Lou Hamer when freedom is under assault

      OpinionMary Alice Birdwhistell

    • Was that a blatantly racist tweet from a Texas senator or not?

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Here’s what pastors said this Sunday in churches not celebrating the Supreme Court’s abortion decision

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • The French Dreyfus Affair and Trump’s Big Lie

      OpinionDavid Gushee, Senior Columnist

    • Women of childbearing age are least likely to see strict abortion laws as best deterrent against abortion

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Independence Day: Not to celebrate but to reflect

      OpinionKathy Manis Findley

    • U.S. State Department calls out Russia, China, Afghanistan, Myanmar for extreme religious freedom abuses

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Two viruses threaten the life of the Southern Baptist Convention: Male hierarchy and dominion theology

      AnalysisEllis Orozco

    • Progress on sexual abuse in the SBC? Not so fast

      OpinionDavid Clohessy and Christa Brown

    • Pranoto, Shaw, Smith and Younger join BNG board of directors

      NewsBNG staff

    • Uyghur American elected chairman of U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • When a Mexican cartel kidnapped a Baptist pastor, they got more than they bargained for

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • The Black community needs allies who listen and act, scholar says

      NewsPat Cole

    • Maybe seminaries should offer a class in mergers and acquisitions

      AnalysisMark Wingfield

    • Reflections on my mother’s funeral: The heart has reasons

      OpinionDavid Ramsey

    • Georgia Baptists hit snag on sale of 16-year-old headquarters property in suburban Atlanta

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • When ‘orthodoxy’ won’t hold: The SBC and the rest of us

      OpinionBill Leonard, Senior Columnist

    • Daniel Vestal writes of the changing chapters of life and faith

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Supreme Court once again hands conservative evangelicals a win for free expression over state establishment of religion

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Catholic bishops drop opposition to lesbian becoming a foster parent

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Christian nationalism links gun rights and ‘Christian nation’ ideals in dangerous mix, Tyler and Hollman say

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Was that a blatantly racist tweet from a Texas senator or not?

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Here’s what pastors said this Sunday in churches not celebrating the Supreme Court’s abortion decision

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Women of childbearing age are least likely to see strict abortion laws as best deterrent against abortion

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • U.S. State Department calls out Russia, China, Afghanistan, Myanmar for extreme religious freedom abuses

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Pranoto, Shaw, Smith and Younger join BNG board of directors

      NewsBNG staff

    • Uyghur American elected chairman of U.S. Commission on International Religious Freedom

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • When a Mexican cartel kidnapped a Baptist pastor, they got more than they bargained for

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • The Black community needs allies who listen and act, scholar says

      NewsPat Cole

    • Georgia Baptists hit snag on sale of 16-year-old headquarters property in suburban Atlanta

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • At Faith and Freedom conference, evangelical Christian voters once again abandon their concern for marital fidelity

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Annual report on Baptist women in ministry finds some gains but serious losses due to COVID

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Church-state separationists join Justice Sotomayor in blasting the Supreme Court’s ruling in a Maine school voucher case

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Conservative clergywoman claims United Methodist system unjust

      NewsCynthia Astle

    • In Africa, inflation and a food crisis threaten not just the economy but people’s lives

      NewsAnthony Akaeze

    • American support for abortion rights at highest level since 1995, Gallup says

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Ministry jobs and more

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • New platform of Texas GOP is laced with Christian privilege

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Author explores contradiction of evangelical support for prison ministry and tough-on-crime laws at same time

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • One year later, awareness of Juneteenth is growing

      NewsMark Wingfield

    • Churches in Russian-occupied sections of Ukraine face desperate conditions

      NewsJeff Brumley

    • Transitions for the week of 6-17-22

      NewsBarbara Francis

    • Christianity: Where the end justifies the means

      OpinionPhillip Thomas

    • Why men should be concerned about the abortion ruling

      OpinionDarrell Hamilton II

    • Why I’m a pro-choice pastor: I’ve listened to the stories of too many women

      OpinionBob Browning

    • Who’ll bring the sackcloth and ashes to CBF General Assembly this week?

      OpinionMolly Brummett Wudel

    • Finding inspiration from Fannie Lou Hamer when freedom is under assault

      OpinionMary Alice Birdwhistell

    • The French Dreyfus Affair and Trump’s Big Lie

      OpinionDavid Gushee, Senior Columnist

    • Independence Day: Not to celebrate but to reflect

      OpinionKathy Manis Findley

    • Progress on sexual abuse in the SBC? Not so fast

      OpinionDavid Clohessy and Christa Brown

    • Reflections on my mother’s funeral: The heart has reasons

      OpinionDavid Ramsey

    • When ‘orthodoxy’ won’t hold: The SBC and the rest of us

      OpinionBill Leonard, Senior Columnist

    • Seven suggestions for preventing conflict before it happens

      OpinionBill Wilson

    • The gospel according to mammals

      OpinionTyler Tankersley

    • How God used Jay Bakker to teach me about race and loving all people

      OpinionMaina Mwaura

    • When a teenager gets kicked to the curb by Christian parents

      OpinionDan McGee and Linda Francis Cross

    • Unzipped: How (not) to commute

      OpinionEric Minton

    • When it comes to leading corporate prayer, are we really all in this together?

      OpinionMark Wingfield

    • Is America racist at heart?

      OpinionEugene G. Akins III

    • Note to self: Get rid of resting jerkface

      OpinionErich Bridges

    • Don’t keep sweet: Why white Christians need to celebrate Juneteenth

      OpinionErica Whitaker

    • Letter to the Editor: The importance of establishing best practices for pastoral searches

      OpinionLetters to the Editor

    • Hymn Stories: ‘Will You Come and Follow Me’

      OpinionBeverly A. Howard

    • A Bubba-Doo’s regular loses a loved one

      OpinionCharles Qualls

    • The oxymoron of being both anti-abortion and pro-gun

      OpinionEarl Chappell

    • My trip to the seamy world of horseracing

      OpinionBrett Younger

    • In the news this weekend: This is what it means to take God’s name in vain

      OpinionErin Albin Hill

    • At LA’s DisclosureFest, a milieu of New Age mysticism, capitalism and conspiracy talk

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Worshippers at Baptist church in Nigeria abducted

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Biden administration proposes protections for transgender students and against sexual violence in schools

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Columbia Theological Seminary students object to firing of Black administrator

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Pope orders online release of WWII-era Pius XII Jewish files

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Demolishing schools after a mass shooting reflects humans’ deep-rooted desire for purification rituals

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Has American conservatism abandoned the Christian right?

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • In Colorado, a GOP rarity: An abortion rights candidate

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • A church was ordered to rescind its gay deacon. Now it weighs its next step.

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Can the Church Still Enact Justice When a Pastor Sues His Accusers?

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Republican Lauren Boebert jokes about AR-15s and Jesus — and yes, she’s a ‘real’ Christian

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • This World Refugee Day, rising white nationalism meets the largest refugee population in history — which is no coincidence

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • How evangelical Christians are sizing up the 2024 GOP race for president

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Abortion bill, confederate holiday removal signed by Edwards

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Buddhist leader in Bhutan fully ordains 144 women, resuming ancient tradition

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Banning Nancy Pelosi from Communion May Have Backfired

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • How Franklin Graham pushed a domestic abuse victim to return to her husband

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Poor People’s Campaign holds major DC rally to combat poverty

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • An Elite Christian College Has Become The Latest Battleground In America’s Culture Wars

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Wiccan celebration of summer solstice is a reminder that change, as expressed in nature, is inevitable

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Camino pilgrims help rural Spain’s emptying villages survive

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • What Antisemitism Looks Like When It Is Carved into Church

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • Humanist chaplains guide nonreligious students on quest for meaning

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • On Juneteenth, Jewish communities are reckoning with their own attitudes on race

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    • UK sanctions Russian Orthodox head; decries forced adoption

      Curated

      Exclude from home pageBNG staff

    Conversations that Matter.

    © 2022 Baptist News Global. All rights reserved.

    Want to share a story? We hope you will! Read our republishing, terms of use and privacy policies here.

    • Facebook
    • Twitter
    • Instagram
    • LinkedIn
    • RSS