Have you noticed that some people join your church and eventually become leaders while others join and eventually drop out? It is easy to assume that people in the latter group just weren’t that interested in spiritual things. Perhaps this is true in some cases, but usually people “drop out” because they were never really “let in.”
This process of “getting in” is often called “assimilation,” which means helping new people find new friends in the church and become involved in fulfilling ministry. But usually this doesn’t just happen. Instead, it happens because church leaders are aware of the need to assimilate new members, plan strategies to meet the need and follow through with their plans.
Why do deacons need to be concerned about assimilation?
First al all, the new church members need it for their personal well-being. In 1943, psychologist Abraham Maslow introduced his now famous hierarchy of needs. His theory, which has become accepted almost as fact, was that every person is motivated by five levels of needs. It is important for deacons to note that one of the levels of need is “belonging.” Human beings need to have a place where they are known and wanted, a place where they would be missed and where people would worry about them.
A term often applied to the early church was “koinonia,” which is much more than just sharing a potluck meal in the fellowship hall. It means having a common life, being connected.
In the 1980s and 1990s the theme song for the television show Cheers got it right:
Be glad there’s one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name,
And they’re always glad you came;
You want to go where people know,
People are all the same;
You want to go where everybody knows your name.
Unfortunately, the song was not referring to the church. Still, it underscores that belonging is so important that people will seek it wherever they think it may be found. In years past, Sunday school classes were the primary means of getting new people connected to other people and small groups. Indeed, often new people were members of a Sunday school class before they became members of the church. More recently new people come to worship first and then find small groups where they can become known.
Second, deacons should be concerned about assimilating new church members be-cause the church needs the spiritual gifts new members bring. The Bible affirms that each Christian has spiritual gifts that are given to build up the whole body, the church. To the extent new church members never find avenues of service, their gifts lie dormant and the church never becomes as strong as it could be. Healthy churches find innovative ways to engage new people in ministry —even if it means letting them start new ministries.
What keeps new members from being assimilated? Con-sider these factors.
1. Family networks. Especially in smaller churches where a few families make up the bulk of the membership, it is easy for new members to feel like outsiders. In fact, that is what they are! These churches have to make intentional efforts to include new people in their church family.
2. Existing friendships. It is only natural for friends to want to be together, so when people who have become good friends see each other at church, they tend to focus on each other. Another way of saying this is that they tend to ignore others. They do not intend to be cruel or exclusive, but when groups of friends are so familiar with one another new comers quite naturally feel like outsiders. The deacon chair of one church noticed that during their Wednesday evening meal at church, the same people sat together every week. That is perfectly understandable be-cause many of them caught up with each other over dinner. Meanwhile, new comers sat to themselves. He mentioned this to the deacons who recommended informally that each group include one new person or couple. It worked!
3. A church’s facilities. I am a member of a church with an educational building constructed at a time when no thought was given to steps. It is also true of our church that we appeal to people like us — middle aged to older adults. The very ones we are most likely to reach are the very ones we are most likely to exclude because the building is so hard for them to move through. Our building committee has done a commendable job of providing ramps, but only so many can be constructed.
4. Church health. I have noticed that in healthy churches, members often linger in the foyers and parking lots enjoying each other’s company. In contrast, in some churches people make bee lines for their cars as soon as the final “Amen” is pronounced. Healthy churches are more apt to welcome newcomers because the long-time members do not feel threatened by them. In unhealthy churches leaders are often unwilling to relinquish authority and influence to others.
5. Few points of entry. Sometimes churches become so set in their ways of doing things that the same people do the same things year after year. While this does provide stability, it also means that there aren’t many opportunities for new blood.
6. Freeze out. People have a tendency to see the ones for whom they are looking and overlook others. Sometimes new members assume they are being intentionally ig-nored when they simply haven’t been “seen.” After a few experiences of being ignored who can blame new people if they don’t come back?
Can a person join a church and still never belong? The truth is many do! But attentive deacons can make a big difference. By insisting that the church make room for new members they are not only helping them grow spiritually, but they are also helping keep their church strong.
Jim White is executive editor of the Religious Herald.