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LEADERSHIP LINK: How to make a hospital visit (or rather, how not to)

NewsJim White  |  March 8, 2013

The following may be used as a role play during a deacon training period at a deacons’ meeting or a retreat.

Sam Sickly has been ill for several weeks. For the past seven days, he has been in the local community hospital. There, he has been subjected to tests of all kinds, stuck repeatedly by needles, discussed by nurses at shift changes and been exposed to (to saying nothing of being exposed by) open-backed hospital gowns.  Sam is very ill. Just when he had decided he could not possibly feel worse, his deacon, Bro. Fred Foghorn, visited and Sam discovered he was wrong.

Fred: (Ignoring the closed door, Fred enters Sam’s semi-private room, marches to the bed getting entangled in tubes and wires, grabs Sam’s hand shaking it vigorously, and says too loudly) Well, Sam, ol’ buddy, how in the world are you? Looks like they’ve got you tied down here, that’s for sure!

Sam: Hi, Fred. I wasn’t sure you knew I was here.

Fred: Oh, yes. That new church secretary makes sure deacons are notified right away, but you know how it is. By the time I get home from work and get a bite to eat, I just don’t feel much like getting out again for anything. Tonight I had to go to the hardware store anyway, so I thought I might as well stop by and see ol’ Sam. Tell me what’s goin’ on with you.

Sam: To tell you the truth, Fred, I’m not sure, but I overheard one of the doctors talking with a nurse and it sounds serious. They’ve got me on some high-powered medicine and all I feel like doing is sleeping. I’m afraid something is dreadfully wrong with me.

Fred: Now, Sam, you know how important it is to keep a positive outlook. I’m sure you’ll be up and around in no time at all. Doctors seem to want to keep folks in the hospital so they can collect all those fees, don’t you know. Besides, everybody knows you are too ornery to be sick for long! You say it sounds serious, but what are they saying?

Sam: Well, tests have ruled out some things, but they are thinking now that my spleen is infected.

Fred: (Shaking his head) Oh, boy. That is bad. If it’s the same thing I’m thinking about, my brother-in-law’s cousin died with that. Well, actually, he would have died with it but the pneumonia he caught from the other fella in the room killed him first. (Here he peers at the other patient in the room.) But, he looks pretty healthy, so I’m sure you don’t have anything to worry about. What you need to do is just make up your mind that you’re going to get out of the hospital fast. I’ll tell you the truth, a body just can’t rest well in one of these hospital beds. You need to get home to your own. Besides everybody knows what hospital food is like. If you weren’t sick when you came in you’d get sick just eating the food.

Sam: Well, there’s where you’re wrong. I have no complaints at all about the kind of care I’ve gotten here. Everyone has been wonderful — and the food has, too. It’s the home-front that has me worried, This afternoon one of the hoses to the washer burst and flooded the house. Linda is home dealing with that mess right now. And not only that, Fred. I have no idea how we are going to pay this hospital bill. Being self-employed myself, we had insurance through Linda’s work until she got cut to part-time. Now we’re without. She’s beside herself with worry.

Fred: Now, Sam, The Lord doesn’t want you to worry. That shows a lack of faith! Why I’m sure everything’s going to be fine and the Lord is going to heal you (pause) — unless you’ve committed the unpardonable sin, of course. But, I don’t think you have. Like I said, you have to keep a positive attitude. Oh, my, look at the time. The game’s going to be in the second quarter before I get home. Rest assured, Sam, we’re praying for you and if you ever need anything, you just let me know, OK? See you later now.

Discussion questions:

1. Besides finally leaving, can you think of anything Fred did right?

2. Make a list of ways Fred demonstrated insensitivity during the visit.

3. What are some ways we can, without intending to, be insensitive when we visit in the hospital?

4. What are some things Sam said that Fred should have picked up on? How might he have given Sam opportunity to talk about what was bothering him? How can we listen for signals of concern during our visits?

5. How could Fred have responded to needs at home that Sam mentioned?

6. What are some things that Fred said about faith that caused you to cringe? Do you think assuring the person he/she will get well is a good thing to do always? How can deacons communicate hope without making false promises?

7. Do you think Sam places much confidence in Fred’s promise to pray for him and be there for him?

8. When you end your hospital visit, what do you want the patient to be thinking?

Jim White is executive editor of the Religious Herald.                                                                

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